Monthly Archives: July 2012

Rules To Being My Wife: III

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I have no desire to get married at this time. Maybe later I will. Maybe if I find a cheap and willing lady I will get married. But I will never find one, at least one that is willing. It’s been a while since I’ve been on those Russian bride sites. When I do get married and my wife is purchased for a few bucks, I will be enforcing a few set of rules. She better follow them. She will be my wife. She’ll be my property. I paid good money for her and I am not taking my chances if the thing doesn’t come with a 30 day money back guarantee.

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NASCAR: Not a Real Sport

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I am not an athlete. I am far from the talented people you see on television or in stadiums across America. I played little league baseball when I was younger but that’s about. Not sure why I had to make it a point that I was ‘younger’ when I played little league baseball. Be weird if I was to play now at my age. Frowned upon and a little creepy too.

I know about sports. Enough to hold a conversation? No, probably not. I can’t tell you much about baseball, football, basketball or any other sport. I like sports. I’d go to the stadium to watch a game or I’ll go to the park for a rousing game of Turkey Bowl but to sit and watch the people on television? I can’t do it. I just can’t.  Continue reading →

Returning to the UFO

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Remember the post about my coworker being an alien? Remember how the other coworker I had was actually a member of the MIB? I really thought the story was over. I really thought we would never hear from “Chris” again. I was sure he was gone for good. He was captured by Agent T. and he was sent to whatever place they put aliens like “Chris” in. It was last week when we made contact with “Chris”. He assured us everything was okay.

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I’m Fooling the Devil

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I am still being visited by the Evil Mormon Elders. They are still on their mission to collect my soul. It seems that the Devil is getting pretty angry over this. He’s ready to get my soul and add it to his collection. If I don’t fend off these Evil Elders, my soul will be on the mantle mixed with the souls of other sinners. I cannot cave and let them take it from me. I have to fool them. I have to do anything to trick them. If I can somehow get these Mormons off my back, I’ll be okay. I’ll be safe and go back to sinning and avoiding the Devil’s next ploy at collecting my dark and tainted soul.

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