A Past Co-Worker Saved President Bush On 9/11.

I have been at the same job for almost a quarter of a century. It is a long time. It was my first job. During these 24 years of being with this place, I have met a wide range of people. Some of these people I can call friends and some of them were just so fucking weird that I would question them and their sanity. I know I have my days when I act like a total nutjob and do the strangest things but I am honest with my life and don’t go off and tell stories that are obviously made up to impress anyone who is able to listen. Let me talk about one such individual I worked with for a few years. His stories were great. When he talked to me about these stories, he sounded so sure of himself that they actually happened and not just something he made up.

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The Worst Smells Imaginable

There are certain smells that I just do not like. We all find things repulsive. I am not talking about normal things, like rotting food or sewage. I am speaking of the normal things that others find okay and aren’t turned off by them. I want to talk to you about some certain smells that get me ill, things that make me quickly cover my nose and run away like it’s toxic fumes. These are smells that will make me gag and turn my nose to its’ pungent smell. They are just horrible. Maybe you’re okay with them but I am not. I’d rather smell the residue in a gas station bathroom left behind by some frat boy’s ruined anus after a long night of drinking and taco bell than smell the things I am about to list. Wallowing in your farts is bliss compared to the aroma of these following things…

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I Am A Picky Eater.

Food. Glorious food!  Hot sausage and mustard!

You like food. I like food. We all like food! I really like food. It is the best thing in the world. Before this became what it is now, it was going to be about food and only food. I will get that to that in a future post. For now, I want to talk about food that I just don’t eat. I have talked about some of the things I don’t eat but I don’t think I have ever really dove into all the crap I dislike.

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Subway: Eat Fresh

Seems like people at the food business are getting bored. We have people licking taco shells and people drinking from the frosty machine. Now, we have a gentleman from Subway adding an off the menu meat to a sandwich. I am all for being creative and such but if you’re going to do it, please our sake and other’s with certificates in PIC training, wear some gosh darn gloves.

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Everyone Love Lasagna

I like food. I really like food. I just can’t eat everything there is. My mother likes to claim that my older brother is a garbage disposal and will dump anything into his mouth, no matter how awful it may be. I on the other hand cannot eat everything that people put in front of me. I have my limits. I have standards as to what I will eat. I am a picky eater and I am not ashamed to admit it. I love food. I eat a lot and will eat till the cows come home. When those said cows do come home, I will grind those bovines up and will create a burgers that isjuicy and dripping with grease. Trust me, I like food. I love food. I like Mexican food. I like Chinese food. I like BBQ and above all else, I like Italian food more than anything. Nothing is better than lasagna. Everyone loves lasagna.

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