I hope everyone had a fulfilling day. I hope you drank enough Corona that you forgot where you parked. Be sure to eat up those tacos and all the other authentic Mexican meals cause tomorrow is just another day in May. Not to be confused with Mexico’s Independence Day, Cinco De Mayo is the day Mexican forces defeated the french in 1862 in the battle of Puebla. The French were defeated and after we said, ‘au revoir” to them, we quickly destroyed the meaning of Cinco De Mayo and turned it into another reason to get sloshed, like Saint Patty’s Day – which I really don’t know the origins behind why we celebrate it. Thank you, Mexico. America tips its Canadian hat to you.
I had a rough day at work. I needed to relax and while a good nights rest is the safest and cheapest idea, I figured drowning my worries and anger in a glass of beer is a better idea. I am not condoning drinking as a problem solver. I am not telling you to drink to fix the problems work drops on you. Sure work can bring you sob stories of decaying teeth, people with the precognition of being sick three days in advance, or the inability to chug water faster than a paralyzed penguin with a feet shuffling problem. I cannot control those things. I cannot stop people from doing the things they do that send me in to fits of rage. I cannot blame them for the foul words and vulgarness that spews from my lips and the degrading words that dangle and roll of my tongue. I drink not because you do things like call in sick or complain about your horrible life, I drink because I know you. Your presence alone will point me and literally drive me to the bar to drink and fix problems with barley, hops, and wheat.
There are few times a year that if you drink and become intoxicated, it is perfectly okay and no one will look down on you. One of those days is 03/17. No one cares about the history of St. Patty’s Day. No one will even bother to learn the history of Saint Patrick and his whimsical journey with serpents. No. None of that is important. The only important issue on this day is booze. Lots of booze and random fighting. Damn, it has to be amazing to be Irish.
I mentioned how my vacation was going to be all about drinking and sobering up. I talk a big game when it comes to drinking. While I do indulge in the occasional bottle or two, I don’t drink myself silly every night. I have had my fair share of drunken nights. I’ve blacked out before. Fourth of July is still a blur. I over did myself the other night. I drank far more than I should have.
It was around 2pm -3pm. I had no real plans that day. I was just going to clean and do some random things around the house. I was going to have a few drinks just to do it. No reason. I wasn’t craving the barley or the hops. I just felt like having a refreshing alcoholic drink. With an offer I posted on facebook for drinks in return of your help with cleaning, I had one person accept it. I wasn’t being serious at all. Half of what I write on facebook is garbage. I just think of the strangest, most off the wall crap I can imagine and post it.
He arrived. House was clean. There was still beer though. I only had maybe 5 in there. We got to drinking and playing video games. We quickly drank the beers up and figured since we were already drinking, why not go get some more? Why not chill longer and have a good time.
We went to the store for a full case of cold, refreshing bud light. Not everyone likes Bud Light. It’s a freaking joke to most people. But cool it. I like it.
It’s what I enjoy drinking. It’s not Captain. That’s my love. I feel bad for Mr. Morgan. I haven’t wet my whistle with his liver killing beverage in a while. I still love. I hope to one day get back to sailing the seven seas with him. His cousin Jerry is nice. We’ve met up a few times.
We get back to my place and decide to watch a movie. Still drinking. Maybe we should order a pizza. We don’t want to drink on an empty stomach. That is a bad idea. Drinking is a bad idea. I know. But doing the drinking and not doing the eating is foolish. We get our pizza. So good. We ended up watching three movies that night. I really had no plans on drinking all night. But I did. My friend and I just chilled. Played some video games and watched some movies. Part way into movie two, we notice we’re low on alcohol. We could call it a night and part ways but why? Why end the night when we’re having fun. We both felt fine. We weren’t stumbling around the apartment. We weren’t slurring our speech either. Again, we head out to grab some more.
Before you say anything, I am fully aware of the outcome that may happen if the
pigs police pull me over. We grabbed another case of beer. I have no idea how a person my size was pounding these beers down like water. We kept watching the movies. After having a handful of these beers, I started to feel it. I wasn’t crazy drunk but enough where I was feeling it. I felt good. I felt relax. I felt tired. I began to doze off.
I don’t know how long I dozed off for but at some point, I woke up screaming. I was in pain. It wasn’t like headache pain. It wasn’t drinking all night long hangover pain. I felt like my chest was going to explode. I thought I was going to die. I was waiting for my heart to explode or worse, watch an alien pop from my chest a la “Alien”. My friend watched as I rolled about the floor. I clutched my chest. This was odd. This wasn’t just a normal pain in my chest. I have those often. It’s a sharp pain that last no more than a minute. This lasted longer. Much longer.
I stood up. I stumbled a bit. Drunken stumble plus I am dying stumble. The last thing I should do with a severe chest pain is smoke. I did. I took a puff and the ugly and nasty habit seemed to sooth me and put an end to the agonizing pain I was enduring. The pain was gone. I felt better. I reassured my friend that everything was okay. We went back to the movie and not long after I restarted the movie, the pain was back. It wasn’t worse. It felt the same and was not letting up. I clutched my chest. I clenched my teeth, groaning and cursing the unknown culprit for putting me through this.
After little convincing we headed to the hospital. This was around 3am. I don’t know what condition he was in. I didn’t feel drunk. If I were, the alcohol swimming in my veins was overshadowed by the fiery pain inside me. I curled myself up in the fetal position in the car. I was still gripping my teeth. It always seems to work. Usually when you’re in pain, you just clench your teeth and the pain goes away. Or at least, it seems to lessen.
I arrived at the hospital. We didn’t wait long. My friend however thought differently. He approached the night shift nurses multiple times asking where the good doctor was. My name was called. I kid you not. The nurse came out. She was carrying a clipboard. She looked around. There was only us two in the waiting room. She glanced around and called out my name. She called it again. I don’t know if don’t realize ma’am, but I am the only one here. There are no other patients waiting. Why act like you’re bewildered as to who I was. Procedure. I don’t give a flying [censored] about your so-called procedure. I am curled up in the chair. I am the only one here. Don’t came out carrying an over sized magnifying glass and act like you’re searching for the Lindbergh baby. You never passed med school and aren’t a full-fledged doctor. Please don’t take it out on me.
I am taken to a room. I am asked to strip. I could hear Donna Summer playing in my head. While no bills were tossed around me or stuffed in my boxers, I did get stuck with a giant needle. If you’re taking blood samples, you’re in for quite a surprised. I wonder what my BAC was that night. She never told me. If I had been arrested, at least I would have known. Did I beat my old record of .12%?
I was pulled into another room and further test were done. The caressed my body again. She rubbed her hands all over my chest. Thankfully it wasn’t a large man like before. The lady wasn’t attractive but she was rubbing me down like a wannabe porn star waxes a car.
After the numerous test, I am wheeled back into the room I started in. I am told I can dress myself. I pull up my britches and lay back on the table. The waiting is awful. I couldn’t do anything but wait. I couldn’t walk out. I wanted to. I wanted to leave and just say ‘screw you.’ If I left and the trouble started again what would I do? I couldn’t walk back in there and ask to get tested all over again. Eventually, the good doctor walks in. He hands me some papers and some pamphlets he says I should read. The said pamphlets sat on my coffee for days. I never read them. I did some cleaning and tossed them. The results were in. What was ailing me?
Speaking of ailing. Did you hear about the two brothers who each swallowed an ink pen. When they started feeling pain, one leaned over to the other and said, “I think we’re suffering from a pen inside us.”
I had a bad case of acid reflux. Yeah. A simple tums would have cleared it all up. Instead of spending four bucks on a pack of that, I am probably gonna spend hundreds of dollars on a visit. This still doesn’t match the amount of money I spent the last time I drank foolishly. DUI’s are expensive. Drinking is expensive.
That was a pretty exciting night. I drank far too much. I should have sucked it up and not made that trip to the ER. But I didn’t really like rolling around on the floor screaming in pain. Here’s also a little bit of excitement I had that night. We got back to myself and turned the movie back on. He grabbed another beer. I passed. I had enough fun for the night. I think I’ll smoke instead. It is after 4. We step outside. I see my neighbors car lights on. The door is open. It isn’t them. There was someone breaking into their car. We scared him off. We didn’t say anything. But he saw us. He slammed the door and bolted. I don’t know who he was and cannot point him out in a line up if you asked me.
I don’t want people to worry about me. Don’t set up some crazy intervention. I just drank more than I should have that night. I am waiting on the bill to arrive. When it does, I will see the damage it caused. Maybe seeing the number and the endless zeros will change my mind about the next time I agree to drinking myself to near death.
Back in 2004-2008, I took to the air and was a dj online. Those four years were amazing. I had so much fun. I always said I would get back in to it but never actually took the step forward. I was to start a new station with a friend but I started working longer hours, dedicating my life to my blog and late night yahoo chat. I just shoved the online deejaying job aside. Maybe I should get back into it. Who knows. I say that now but next week or even tomorrow, I’ll forget about this and not attempt it at all.
How did you get to be a dj online?
Good question! I mentioned before how I played an online game, “The Sims Online“. Great game. Anyway, I was playing the game one day and there were players shouting out song lyrics and thanking a person in the house for playing a certain song. It took a minute to discover she was streaming music online and the other people were tuning in. I clicked the station. If I recall, I believe the station was called “Fusion Radio”. I filled out an application for the station. It sounded like a fun thing to do. I have tons of music. I have good taste in music. Few days later, I was contacted and a test date was set up. I already had a microphone. I had music. I just needed a certain software to get the streaming going. Everything worked. I was in. I picked a few days I would dj on. The only downside to this station was I had to create a specific online handle (yahoo instant messenger) to dj from. It wasn’t such a big deal. I just had to place “dj” in front of my name. I just they wanted people to know I was a dj and not just a random nobody. This brought me to having two different yahoo handles. It caused issues when trying to read mail or message friends. I had to pick one to make my main name. I picked the dj one.
After months of this, the station changed formats. We were really allowed to play whatever we liked. I played it all. The station quickly dropped those not interested in just doing heavy metal. I was out of a job. The dj’ing bug was still with me. I wanted more. I jumped on the games forums and did a search for “radio stations”. I found one called, “ROFL radio”. Maybe not the best name. Okay, it was a pretty sh***y name. But I went with it. I was allowed to switch back to my old yahoo name. That was awesome. This is where I met Katrina, Chris, and Jendoline. I knew Katrina from game. She was friends with people I eventually became good friends with. Katrina was amazing. She even knew about the movie “Mr. Boogedy“.I met others but these three were good friends. Jendoline and I hit it off pretty well. We clicked. Before her and I arrived at the station, is wasn’t wildly popular. They were just a little station in the corner of the web. Just like my blog. Not wildly popular but I am here. Enjoying the space I have on the world wide web. Jendoline and I brought listeners to the station. I wasn’t really wanting to have a “role” with the station. I forgot what title I was given but I was given a little power at the station. Nice and all, but I really just wanted to play music and have fun. I already had responsibilities at work. Don’t overload me.
Before Jendoline arrived, I had fun with doing what I do best. Drinking. I got some strange idea one day to broadcast on the air and drink as I deejayed. Not the wisest decision I ever made but it made for some good comedy and listeners. One of my highest listener counts. I recorded the show. Not sure how much I drank. According to the file I have saved, I only lasted about 2 hours. Not sure how much I drank before I went on air and not sure how much I drank while on the air. What I do remember is, I called people. I yelled. I swore. I spilled drinks. Even my good friend, G-Rock got in on the action. It was quite the night. I edited the file and broke it down into 14 different files. Below are a few of them. These are probably the cleanest out of them all.
(NOTICE: NOT SAFE FOR WORK. DO NOT PLAY THESE FILES WITH CHILDREN PRESENT. DON’T PLAY THEM AROUND YOUR BOSS.)
While at ROFL, Jendoline and I created a segment we called, “Upcoming Artist”. Jendoline was really the one who found them. I helped with the interview and the recording of the interview. We interviewed a number of people. Our first interviewee, was a teenager out of California. His name is Ronnie Day. A very talented artist. Here a little bit of his interview here. Check out his site. Grab his CD. You can get it at Amazon.com.
Here is a video to “Outside”.
Besides interviewing Ronnie Day, we talked with “Milton and the Devil’s Party” and “The Hamptons“. The interviews are saved but due to limited space, I am not posting them. I can send you them if you like. The interviews were always fun to do. The idea started strong but after some time and I am not sure really why, it just stopped.
Jendoline and I had a great time at ROFL. I cannot recall what happened but she was “fired”. Hard to be fired from a job you don’t really get paid for. The ROFL family was worried that with her leaving I was going to leave to. I assured them that I wasn’t. But I did. This was back in 2005. I recorded my last show at that station. The show that night started out like normal. I started with some R&B. I jumped into some rock and roll. Mixed in some country. Then after a few hours, I switched it up a bit and started to play songs that told them basically, “I’m effin’ leaving.”
The play list at the end…
- Friend is a Four Letter Word – Cake
- People Ain’t No Good – Nick Seed and the Bad Seeds
- Wasting My Time – Default
- When I’m Gone – Three Doors Down
- Bye Bye Bye – N*Sync
- Vanishing – A Perfect Circle
- Bad Day – Fuel
- Nothing To Lose – Billy Talent
- Good Riddance (Time of your Life) – Green Day (or as my mom calls it, “The Seinfeld Song”)
- Plane – Jason Mraz
- Wordplay – Jason Mraz
- Without Me – Eminem
- Ready to Run – Dickless Chicks
- I’m Moving On – Rascal Flatts
- I Want to Break Free – Queen
- When It’s Over – Sugar Ray
- In The End – Linkin Park
- Closing Time – Semisonic
- Goodbye To You – Breaking Point
- Gone – Switchfoot
A pretty good selection I have to say. Jendoline and I bailed on the station and went out to create our own. I will talk about that in the next part of my online deejaying days. Hands
down, the greatest time I had working for an online station. Besides running my own online forums (pitweston.com), this was number 2. Sadly, I shut down my forums. I mentioned in a previous post that I still have the SQL file on my hard drive. I just don’t know if it is even possible to bring it back to life. Not to reopen the forum for posting but just to take a second look at the craziness that went on at the forums. Maybe a whole blog post will be dedicated to the crap we pulled while on the forums. When I quit the station, I had the idea of recording the entire show and playing it with me not on air. I had a file I was going to play at the end of the show but with me not pre-recording the show, I never got to use the file. Here it is.
It was fun. I’ll post the second part to this later this week. But knowing me, it’ll me months before I return to this.