08/8/13

Grandma Judy Retires

I live in a strange neighborhood. Lots of weird and possibly, supernatural things go on here. I moved here three years ago and in theseHellfire Watchtower three years of trying to avoid the craziness, I was pulled in. I had to deal with an odd array of people. Not all the people who I have encountered have been odd and supernatural. I will exclude the Boston Pops from it. They are normal people. They are still friends and still the only sane people who have resided in this hell hole of a place I live in. It was that family who kept the evil entities at bay. They were basically saviors, sent by God to ward of the evil spirits, the ghosts, zombies, witches, and the evil Mormons who all tried so diligently to steal my soul and emotionally rape me of what little hope and happiness I had left. After the Boston Pops left, I was left to wonder who would be taking their spot? Who will be sent to protect me from the tormented souls that linger about? Was it Grandma Judy? Was it the old lady that took shelter in the vacant apartment to battle the demons and keep me safe from harm and eternal damnation? She was not a savior. She was also in the plan to rid me of my soul and finally finish the work that Claudia, Carlos, and the Evil Elder Mormons couldn’t. She was not here as an angel or a messenger of God but was here to brainwash me into joining her cult and if successful, I would be gone and then be property of the Dark Angel, Lucifer, the fallen angel and ruler of Hell.

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10/9/12

The New Neighbor

It has been months since the Boston Pops moved away. The apartment stayed vacant for a few months. I dreaded each day when my crappy landlords would showcase the empty abode to some random and probably criminal record holding, ruffian. Who is to know what kind of people they tried to get to squat next door to me. If it isn’t clear, you can obviously tell I am not too thrilled about my current living situation. I miss the Boston Pops. They were great neighbors and they did protect me from the evilness of Claudia (Dead Zombie Wife, the Ghost of Carlos, and the other unseen force determined to ruin me and rape me of all my life. All things end. Nothing last and while having an empty place I was able to run amok was fun and risqué, the old place couldn’t stay vacant forever. If it did, who would be there to ruin our children with the temptation of drugs, sex, and total anarchy? No one that’s who. These apartments have literally gone to shit. Worst place imaginable. I don’t think it’s in my contract/lease with these a-holes about talking smack on the place but I don’t care. I won’t mention where I live you but when I do move out (which is happening), I will unleash hell and explain how shady, horrible, and dangerous it is to live where I currently live. For now, the story about my new neighbor and the final straw that broke the camel’s back.

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06/18/12

Q & A: The Legend of the Dead Zombie Wife

The Dead Zombie Wife story has been going on for at least a year now. It is a made up story. I like to call the legend, factual fiction. I am going to answer some questions I’ve been asked and some questions I am going to pretend I was asked. The part of this post is to shed some light on the story and why I write what I write. Enjoy.

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05/30/12

The Mormon Occult

Note from Author: I want to make something clear about this story I am about to tell. It touches heavily on the Mormon religion and God. These stories about the Dead Zombie Wife all the way to the Mormon Cult is fiction. I stretch the truth and elaborate on much of what is mentioned. Don’t take this stuff to heart. There are no evil Mormons trying to steal my soul. There is no zombie in my wall and the man below me isn’t a ghost with creepy ghosts children. It’s all for fun. Let me explain it all quickly. I heard a scratch on the wall one night and that scratch created Claudia or as I call her, The Dead Zombie Wife. I can tell you that some of the things below and the previous stories did actually happen. I just added a little flair to it to make it a little more interesting. Again. The Elders that visit me are not sent by Satan to claim my soul. The part about me praying, that is true. I swear.

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04/30/12

The Samoan Virus

Life is about to get a lot more complicated. I have been tortured for 2 years by a zombie, a bi-lingual ghost, and most recently, a witch. How can anyone live comfortably with the knowledge that one of those three things could easily creep into their bedroom as they sleep and rip them apart. Peeling back their skin and making their ribs a xylophone. Do I fear this? Yes, I do. But I shouldn’t. I’ve been protected. I’ve had this invisible force field keeping my safe from all the things that go bump in the night. But what if the protection expires? What if the safety net I took for granted is about to void and be no more? What am I to do when God’s protective force decides to up and move, leaving me to fend for myself against a Hispanic ghost, a dead zombie wife, and a pregnant witch?

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