06/4/13

A Joke: Marital Troubles

Before I get to this hilarious joke, I want to apologize for slacking on the blogging. I ran into a bit of a slump. I had nothing to say till now. I have a few weddingcoupleideas lined up but instead of posting a heart-felt entry or something sarcastic, I decided to post a punny joke. If you know me, you know this following joke will be funny as hell. Cause I am f**king funny guy. Honestly, my jokes make women weak in the knees. If you don’t laugh at this joke, you have no sense of humor. If you groan at it, then you are a douche. Laugh. I know you will. Cause I did. Anyway… here’s the joke. Comedy special, here I come!

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11/23/12
Butcher Shop

I went to the butcher shop

There is a butcher shop on the corner of town that is always busy. People come from miles outside of town just to go here to pick up the cuts of meat they desire so badly. I don’t know why the shop is so popular. It is like all other shops. You walk in and the smell of animal blood and meat fill the air. It is like when you enter a fish market. The foul odor of seafood hits you like a ton of bricks. I don’t know why but like I said, for some odd reason this shop is always busy and people will drive past other butcher shops just to go here. I have never been there and never could figure out the reason why it was such a busy and happening place. That was then and now, after what feels like years, I finally discovered why this shop is the king of the butcher shop world.

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11/18/12

Cemetery Visit

Barry pulls into a cemetery. He has come to see his mother. She passed away 10 years ago and this is the first time he’s been back since then. Barry walks over to the tombstone and kneels down in front of it. He starts to cry. He isn’t an emotional man but being that he’s here visiting his mother, a few tears wouldn’t make much of a scene.

He places the flowers he brought on the tombstone. “I love you, mom.” He kisses his fingers and places them on the marble tombstone. It is his way of giving his mother a kiss. He lowers his head and closes his eyes. He begins to pray silently to himself.

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11/13/12

This is why you can’t have nice things.

A mother and father waited in the living room for their two sons to show up for a talking to. The parents were not happy and weren’t going to let this be. They needed to let the kids know that they can’t treat their toys like trash. It is their responsibility to keep them in working condition and not just toss them aside when something bigger and better comes along. The two boys arrived and they were immediately directed towards the couch. ¬†They know they are in trouble but for what is the mystery.

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