I am not a skier. I have never been. I don’t have an interest in it and never will. I had two separate times when I went skiing and both times they ended in terrible tragedies. Okay, so it wasn’t tragic. If you read on, you will realize that I have a terrible relationship when it comes to putting on skies and going down a hill. I am not a sporting person. I prefer to run but I have been lacking in that department. I would play football with friends that was probably the greatest time I ever had playing football. I am not going to say skiing is a sport. It is a leisure activity but if you were to ask someone who takes skiing as a career, they will argue with me and say, yes, skiing is a sport. Skiing is a sport just like Nascar is a sport. I am rambling on because I want to lengthen this introduction to more than just a few sentences. Keep reading and you will understand why I don’t ski and why I have terrible luck with it.
I am not afraid to admit that I don’t watch sports. I just don’t. I find my time better spent working, writing, or maybe having a life. You may argue that people who watch sports have lives but I beg to differ. Life is much more than all the Elway’s, Ochocinco’s, and Manning’s combined. Don’t get your jock strap all in a bind. I am just kidding. You have lives. You probably lead a great and more meaningful life than I do. If your life consists of more than just working and sleeping, then your life is better and more fulfilling than mine. I don’t want to make it seem like my life is just all work and sleep. It’s not. I eat. I drink, I watch TV, and I solve all the worlds problems while I pretend to take an actual shower. Of all the things I do, have them be deathly boring or exciting like the orgasmic sound of the ice cream truck, nothing in life will ever put me in the position of sitting on the couch, drinking a beer with someone and watching a sporting event. It just won’t happen. Sports are not exciting on a 32 inch screen. Sports need to be seen first hand. I will never watch them on television. No. It will never happen. I shouldn’t say that it won’t ever happen. It does but only once a year. I will watch the Super Bowl and I don’t watch it for the commercials I watch it cause it’s being an American and I am more American than I am a sports fanatic.
I am not an athlete. I am far from the talented people you see on television or in stadiums across America. I played little league baseball when I was younger but that’s about. Not sure why I had to make it a point that I was ‘younger’ when I played little league baseball. Be weird if I was to play now at my age. Frowned upon and a little creepy too.
I know about sports. Enough to hold a conversation? No, probably not. I can’t tell you much about baseball, football, basketball or any other sport. I like sports. I’d go to the stadium to watch a game or I’ll go to the park for a rousing game of Turkey Bowl but to sit and watch the people on television? I can’t do it. I just can’t. Continue reading