10/9/12

The New Neighbor

It has been months since the Boston Pops moved away. The apartment stayed vacant for a few months. I dreaded each day when my crappy landlords would showcase the empty abode to some random and probably criminal record holding, ruffian. Who is to know what kind of people they tried to get to squat next door to me. If it isn’t clear, you can obviously tell I am not too thrilled about my current living situation. I miss the Boston Pops. They were great neighbors and they did protect me from the evilness of Claudia (Dead Zombie Wife, the Ghost of Carlos, and the other unseen force determined to ruin me and rape me of all my life. All things end. Nothing last and while having an empty place I was able to run amok was fun and risqué, the old place couldn’t stay vacant forever. If it did, who would be there to ruin our children with the temptation of drugs, sex, and total anarchy? No one that’s who. These apartments have literally gone to shit. Worst place imaginable. I don’t think it’s in my contract/lease with these a-holes about talking smack on the place but I don’t care. I won’t mention where I live you but when I do move out (which is happening), I will unleash hell and explain how shady, horrible, and dangerous it is to live where I currently live. For now, the story about my new neighbor and the final straw that broke the camel’s back.

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06/18/12

Q & A: The Legend of the Dead Zombie Wife

The Dead Zombie Wife story has been going on for at least a year now. It is a made up story. I like to call the legend, factual fiction. I am going to answer some questions I’ve been asked and some questions I am going to pretend I was asked. The part of this post is to shed some light on the story and why I write what I write. Enjoy.

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05/28/11

Carlos Is Back

After months of silence, I have an eerie feeling that the Ghost of Carlos is back. I really thought I was done with him. I made a pact with the devil. The new neighbors came to my rescue. All those things should have saved me from the ongoing torment I get from Carlos. But he is back. He’s returned once more to make my life hell.  I don’t really know if ghost take vacations. If they do, then eff them. They at least do something I don’t. The other day while I was watching television, my phone went crazy. I was getting notifications from an application I use. The app is called, iCam. It is a security camera that will alert me when there is motion. While this could be a very good thing, it can also be something very scary. There have been stories about people catching criminals lurking about their house with this application and many like it.

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09/6/10

My Apartment Is Cleansed

Back in late August (08/20/2010), I mentioned how I had new neighbors moving in. I did fear them. I was not sure of what kind of heathens were going to be residing next to me for however long it may be. I was happy the Lazy Laundriers moved away. The reason for their departure is still unknown. I was paying rent one day and she asked how I like the new neighbors. I agreed they are good people. I added that they are better with completing their laundry than the past tenants. I mentioned two people living there. She snapped back at me. It was almost as if two people living their was my fault. Two people were not on the lease. It was just one. But which one? Was it the male or the female? Who was the person on the lease? Doesn’t matter now. They are gone. Life was good.

Flash forward to the arrival of the new peeps. I know his name. I don’t know hers. I know he told me one day but after a few drinks, I tend to forget them. Not to mention, I am terrible with names. So while Zach (still unsure of how he spells his name) and the others begin to move in boxes and the others, I questioned what kind of people they are. I am not talking about if they are party people, dbags, or a Mickey and Mallory Knox type couple. I just wanted to know if they are on the side of good or the dark. No Sith Lords here. I mean dark. Minions of the devil himself.

It could be too early to tell but as of now, I think God intervened and brought peace and some tranquility to my apartment. I usually listen to my music through headphones. I always pissed off the Ghost of Carlos. The last week, I took some pretty big risks and played the music through my speakers. I listened not only to the music but for any sign that I could be angering the ghost below me. There were no complaints from Carlos about the volume level of my music. I might be jumping the shark but today and since the BP’s have moved in, things are going swimmingly. There have been no issues. Before I write this, I’ll knock on wood. I have not heard anything from Claudia. It’s very strange. There haven’t been any noises from her. She is out of my dreams and she’s not even in my car. Where on Earth did she go? Before the Boston Pop’s moved in, life was hell. After the LL’s moved out, things were better. Granted, I still had visits from Claudia and the Ghost of Carlos still tormented me. But for two weeks, nothing. Nada.

It is all good. Why isn’t he raising hell? Did something happen to him? Maybe he moved out too. I thought that. I mean I normally heard the ghost children running about and other random noises but as of lately, there hasn’t been any sounds coming from below. Like right now. As I am writing this blog, he’s not saying anything. It’s pretty loud. No knocking on the ceiling. It’s very strange. The other night, I had a couple people over. One friend decided to introduce herself to Carlos. She said he was reluctant to shaking her hand. Could mean something. Could just mean he’s OCD like me with germs. She said he was very nice and even offered to aid me if I ever needed it. The old Carlos wouldn’t offer help. The new Carlos did. What the hell is going on!? I’ve never seen Carlos but she did? Let’s go out on a limb here. Here is what could have happened. At least one possibility.

I offered my soul to the devil to rid myself of the Lazy Laundriers. My wish came true. Is my soul damned? No. My deal with the devil was never complete. God made sure of that. Weeks pass. The Boston Pops move in. Since they have moved in, I haven’t heard from Claudia and the Ghost of Carlos hasn’t been giving me grief. Zach was sent from God and cleansed my apartment of Claudia. Since Claudia is gone, so is the Ghost of Carlos. These two were attached to each other through love. She was sent to hell (where she belongs) and with her being gone, the connection between her and Carlos was broke. He was free from her evil grasp. His spirit was now free. Being free from the evil that was Claudia, God granted him a second chance. Since he was just a pawn in the world of Richard and Claudia, he came back to Earth to raise his children. Should I say raise or should I say protect? But who is he here to protect? His kids or me? And if he is here now to protect me, who from?

How crazy is it to be rid of the Lazy Laundriers, The Dead Zombie Wife, and the Ghost of Carlos? Even though they never harassed me, Needle Nancy and Tramp Stamp are both gone. These things are not coincidences. Everything happens for a reason, right? The same time I was in the landlord’s office, I brought up NN and TS moving out. I did foul up and said,

Oh, I don’t know their real names. I had pet names for them.”

I did dub my new neighbors, “The Boston Pops”. Maybe I should be nice to them. I usually give those I am not fond of names. I hardly know these people. I have talked to Zach a few times. He is a really nice guy. But since Zach has wore two shirts promoting the Boston Red Sox, I felt it best fits him and his family to be the Boston Pops. It’s much easier to have names like these when talking about the people I live around. NN & TS place is still empty. It’s only a matter of time before some crazy people move in there. Hopefully they don’t know the Bleach Murderer. Zach and his family have saved me from the hellish beast that craved my soul. I mentioned before that Zach is a Biblical name.

I don’t know but it looks like I will have a rough road ahead of me. I do not want to come off and say these are bad people. They may in fact be really nice. But with the circumstances that surround me, I am worried that maybe they might end up being the death of me. I brought this upon myself. I made a deal with the devil to get the Lazy Laundriers out of this place. I got these people here. I could have brought death to my door. But after researching the meaning of the name Zach, I am perplexed to what will really happen to me. According to every site I read, Zach means, “pure and innocent” or it also means, “the lord remembered“. Could this be a good thing? Maybe God intervened and sent this person to protect me from the real evil that lives below me. Is it a coincidence that Carlos lives below me? That this evil spirit is under my feet? Hell is below us. Heaven is above us. I have nothing above me. Has God forgotten about me? Am I to fend for myself against this evil man who lives under my feet? Who in all actuality, lives in hell?

The words in bold are two meanings of Zach’s name. He is my savior. He has cleansed my apartment of the evil that once seeped from the walls. But…and I do mean but. If I did make a pact with the devil, is the peace I am having now the work of him or is it really the work of God? Things can still happen. They haven’t been here very long. Aren’t things always calm before the storm? And is it even more of a coincidence that they moved in during a hellish storm? The storm brought them in, like creatures from the mist. It would be easy for them to sneak in. Roll in with the dark clouds and act as if you’re just a normal couple with a small child. I need to keep my chin up. I need to believe that the worst is over. I will never be bothered again by Claudia or Carlos. There is still another possibility to everything that is going on. The first one is God doing all the work and him bringing in the BP’s to save me. The second possibility is if I was the reason the Lazy Laundriers are gone and the Boston Pop’s are here. My soul is doomed.

Who is the scariest ghoul living in my building?

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I made a deal with the devil to get the Lazy Laundriers out of my apartment complex. It worked. The LL’s were cast out and sent to an unknown location. I basked in the perfect life for a week or two. I made it to the promise land. It was good. Just too good to be true. When the storm ravaged our city, the dark rain clouds brought not only rain and thunder, it brought along a trio of demon spawn. Zach may have a Biblical name but it’s the devil’s game here. He knows me well. He knows I’ll be looking up the name and seeing any connection I can to the Bible. The demon spawn rid me of the LL’s. As for Claudia and Carlos, well they are still here. Carlos offered aid to me so I’d let him in my apartment. Claudia is just staying dormant. They are just waiting for the right moment. Once I let my guard down, I’m going to be attacked from all sides. Needle Nancy and Tramp Stamp are gone. They lived next door. Their exit was also planned by the devil. Get them out and bring in someone new. I’ll have no where to run. I will be surrounded by demons no matter which way I turn. It’s all up to when the Zach Attack will happen. Zach sure does promote his love for Boston. What happened in Massachusetts in the late 1600’s? Witches. Evil witches and their dark magic. You’re not fooling me.

But that just a theory. Anything can happen. But I am looking at the glass half full. This period of peace is enjoyable. I just hope that Zach is truly here as my savior and the deal I made with the devil was annulled. As before, I will keep you posted on what terrors await me. I still have to worry about the new people taking residence in Needle Nancy & Tramp Stamp’s old brothel house. I still have to keep an ear to the wall for any clues if the Dead Zombie Wife is still with me. Is the Ghost of Carlos still going to make my musical life hell? Lots of questions still. I thought that I was safe but the idea that Zach may be the devil in sheep’s clothing worries me a lot. Pray for me.

08/20/10

No Vacancy

As predicted, the freedom I had from not having neighbors is no more. A new tenant has moved in. I am a bit upset over it. I enjoyed the freedom from the Lazy Laundriers. I didn’t get much time to enjoy it. I never got to fall in love with a laundry room all to myself. Sure I had it all alone for a few weeks but the love I had to offer it wasn’t there. I liked it. I hadn’t moved on to the love step of the relationship. I was ready. I really was. But now, that is no more. I will have to share it with complete strangers. How I hate strangers. They are bad people. When I was little, we had a code word. If someone ever claimed to know a family member and came knocking on our door, they had to know the code word to have us open the door. I was just a small child when we my sister created the word. We never used it. That’s a good thing. I guess. I mean, I was never kidnapped. No strangers ever came knocking. Only people that ever did, were those damn Mormons.

I was relaxing at home, watching some TV. I heard a ruckus coming from outside. I thought maybe it was the neighborhood kids running wild. Speaking of those kids, here is a conversation I heard earlier between some kids. I will guess and say these kids are no older than 12.

Girl One: See ya later, hoes!

Girl Two: We’ll be back! And if we’re not, you can kiss our (smack bottom) ass!

Boy One: (sitting on porch). You can suck my dick!

Girl One: Then I’ll rip that tiny thing off!

Kids these days. Anyway, I went to investigate the noise. I opened the door and saw a U-Haul. My heart sank. I was heart broken. I saw a man walking in carrying a box. He was wearing a bandanna. As they were moving in he began to complain about it. Either he lost it or set it somewhere and forgot where. Doesn’t matter. Bandanna Jack was my neighbor. Oh, wait. Who is this? Another person? A gentlemen walked out of the apartment. He looked at me. I looked at him. We said hello. He introduced himself as, Zach (or Zack). Okay. I guess Bandanna Jack and this guy are living here. I can’t stop there. It didn’t stop there. Another person stepped out of the U-Haul. She came up carrying a box. We said hello.

Me: Hello.

Lady: Hi. You said you’re name is Kirk or Kurt?

Me: Kirk.

Zach: Kirk! Like Captain.

Lady: Like church?

Me: Yes. Like Church.

I give her credit for knowing that. I give him the finger for saying the “C” word. I’ve said it once and I will say it again. I effin’ hate that nickname.  I chatted a bit with him. Turns out it’s just him (Zach), his wife and their 2 year old daughter/son. I don’t hate kids. I just can’t stand the noise of a crying baby. That’s probably why I say I will never have children. I like quiet. Babies are loud. Not to mention messy, needy, and like a puppy, in constant need of attention. I went inside to sulk. They went inside to rearrange their furniture.

I am hesitant about getting close to these people. I don’t know if they are normal people or if they were sent by the devil himself. I know Claudia and The Ghost of Carlos are planning something. These new people could be the death of me. I find it odd that the day they move in, there was a hellish storm outside. I mean sirens going off, a downpour of rain, thunder, and lightning. Is that a sign from above? Let me look up what storms mean according to a random (google click) dream site.

The storm is a symbol of strong feelings and fears that have your emotions in uproar. Being in a storm means that you will face a hard fight and the best defense is a good preparation. Struggling through a storm is a sign that you need to be prepared for problems and losses. Listening to a storm roaring outside denotes bad news ahead. A dream also can have a comment on the climate of a personal relationship. A tiff with a loved one may turn into a dream storm or hurricane.

Link 1.

Another one,

To see a storm in your dream, signifies overwhelming struggle, shock, devastating loss and catastrophe in your personal affairs. The storm also represents unexpressed fears or emotions, such as anger, rage, turmoil, etc.

Link 2.

I don’t know but it looks like I will have a rough road ahead of me. I do not want to come off and say these are bad people. They may in fact be really nice. But with the circumstances that surround me, I am worried that maybe they might end up being the death of me. I brought this upon myself. I made a deal with the devil to get the Lazy Laundriers out of this place. I got these people here. I could have brought death to my door. But after researching the meaning of the name Zach, I am perplexed to what will really happen to me. According to every site I read, Zach means, “pure and innocent” or it also means, “the lord remembered“. Could this be a good thing? Maybe God intervened and sent this person to protect me from the real evil that lives below me. Is it a coincidence that Carlos lives below me? That this evil spirit is under my feet? Hell is below us. Heaven is above us. I have nothing above me. Has God forgotten about me? Am I to fend for myself against this evil man who lives under my feet? Who in all actuality, lives in hell?

It’s a very interesting situation I am in. I mean, in one hand I made a deal with the devil to get rid of the Lazy Laundriers. My soul is lost. But could Zach be someone who is here to save me? Could he be a messenger from God to return my soul that I lost? He is pure. He is innocent. But all pure and innocent people can be corrupted. He can fall to the sinister actions of Claudia and the Ghost of Carlos.

Speaking of Carlos. I think I met his wife and one of his children. Two Hispanic people walked from out of the parking lot and down the sidewalk. They walked passed my apartment. The mother looked at me and smiled. The daughter, who looked maybe about 4, looked at me. What freaked me out was when the little girl walked by, she stared at me. She had her hand extended and just pointed at me as she walked by. Her finger moved, keeping it pointed at me as she walked away. This happened a day before the new neighbors moved in. Did Carlos know about them moving in? Was he aware of maybe God’s plan to send a protector for me? Was it some sign that they were “watching me”?

So many questions to answer.

  1. Who are these new neighbors?
  2. Did God send them?
  3. Did the Devil send them?
  4. Did The Ghost of Carlos or Claudia have anything to do with them moving in?

I don’t know his wife name. I don’t know their daughter’s name. Those names are and will be important to me. If they are religious names, then I might be safe and have a gaggle of protectors living next door. If the names aren’t and mean something a little more sinister, then I might be in a little trouble. I do hope it’s for the best. I hope for some protection. It has been a while since I have heard from Claudia. If they are here for good, there are two outcomes to this. One, they could rid my apartment of the evil living inside the walls. Or, they could anger her enough knowing they are on the same team with the Lord. She could do everything to drive them out. She and Carlos cannot have a messenger of the Lord living next door. It could mean the end to their reign of terror.

I will keep you posted. This is big. I was not sure of who was going to move in. But now that they are living here, everything could come crashing down. A can of worms are now open. It’s just a matter of time till I find out what side they are on. I hope they are on the side of the good. If not, I don’t even want to think of what will happen. Good or bad, I did sell my soul to the devil. I am a lost cause. But, and I going out on a limb here. If they are sent by God, this could be a chance for me to reclaim my soul and hopefully spend all eternity in the presence of God.