03/29/12

Preparing For The Zombie Apocalypse

If you look to the right of this post, you will see the exact time the world will end and the zombies will rise. I am no scientist but according to our friends, the Mayans, the world will end on December 21st, 2012. It’s getting closer and that means time on Earth is coming to an end. You better get ready to fight. You better know how to fend off the hordes of zombies. They may have been neighbors, friends, family, or co-workers. But once those poor schmucks were bitten and the their virus-filled saliva filled their veins, they are no longer friends, family, and co-workers. They are the undead and they have one job to do. To f**king eat you.

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03/4/12

Zombies and Billiards

I had a dream last night. It’s not odd for me to have a dream. I just thought I would mention it since this post is going to be about another weird dream of mine. I don’t think there is ever a time when my dreams aren’t weird. You’re welcome to go back and read some of them. I promise you, each one is a little more eff’ed up than the next. While most of my dreams are lengthy, this one is not. It is a pretty short dream but that’s okay. It doesn’t change the fact that it will leave you scratching your head in disbelief. Let me set up the dream.

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08/16/10

DieTanic: Part III

Marion went up a flight of stairs to find the doctor. She just hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t shove her aside because her class. The third class passengers had no doctor on hand. Most of the first class passengers didn’t care either. If they died, it meant nothing. Just one less problem to ruin the country. Marion reached the top of the stairs. She was stopped by a locked door. Marion jiggled the knob. Nothing. She knocked. Nothing. She persisted. Marion knocked again, only louder this time. She shouted from behind the door. The door opened slowly. Standing in front of her was a man dressed in the finest clothes imaginable. He looked at Marion. His lips curled with disgust.

Can I help you?

Marion wiped away the tears already forming. She came to and took a moment to regain her composure.

Please. I need a doctor. My husband is sick. He’s going to die if we don’t get him any help.

The man stood there for a bit. He looked at Marion. He hesitated. He wasn’t a doctor. The man had no training to the medical profession at all. The most he could do was apply a band-aid. Even at times, he needed help with that. Lucky for him, he had a staff of 40 to come to his every need. He looked at Marion. Her eyes were watering up. She quivered. Her jaw shook and she tried to ask again for some sort of pity.

Please. He’s dying.

The man looked left and looked right. The coast was clear. He took off his jacket and placed it on a nearby bench.

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

Marion thanked the man countless times as they walked back down the stairs toward her room. As they walked down the hallway, Marion noticed the door to her room was wide open. She looked perplexed. She knew she shut the door. She had fear and hope running through her mind. Maybe Ronnie felt better and got up. Maybe someone else came to his rescue. She also had horrible thoughts about what could be inside the room. She might find her husband but she didn’t return fast enough. She could be returning to the room as a  widow. Marion and the gentleman walked towards the room. He heart would beat faster the closer she got. He didn’t have much compassion for her or for her husband. He was doing this out of pity. He really wasn’t sure why he was doing it. But at least he can say he did something nice for a change.

Marion stood at the enterence to the room. She waited for the man to catch up. She raised her arm and pointed inside.

He’s right in there.

The man said ‘okay’ and walked in. He turned to Marion with a look of anger.

This some kind of joke, lady?

She was just as puzzled as he was. She walked into the room. She gasp and covered her mouth. Ronnie wasn’t there. The room was empty.She ran towards the bed, tossing herself on to it. She wallowed around in the bloody sheets. She cried, calling out to Ronnie.

Ronnie!? Where are you!? Where did you go Ronnie?

The man leaned against the door frame. He asked where Ronnie was.

He was right here! Right here is where I left him. I don’t know where he could have gone. He was…was…

Marion broke down. She sat on the bed, the sheets pressed to her face. She just cried for his return. She just wanted her Ronnie back. The gentleman walked over to Marion. He knew he had to comfort her in this time of need. He sat on the bed, his back to the door. He pulled in her close and give her a hug. Marion’s head was resting on his shoulder when out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone behind the door. It was Ronnie.

Ronnie, is that you?

He came out from the darkness. Marion shrieked. It was him. He just didn’t look well. Almost dead. He stumbled closer to her. He didn’t talk. Just incoherent grumbles. Marion tapped on the man’s shoulder to motion him to turn around. He did so. He saw Ronnie. Ronnie lunged at the man, knocking Marion to the floor. The man fought with Ronnie. After much fighting, he knocked Ronnie to the ground. Marion raised her voice and screamed at the man for treating Ronnie like an animal. Ronnie flopped on the floor, doing all he can to sit up. Once he finally get to his knees, he lunged at the man. He sank his teeth into the man’s arm. Blood squirted out in all directions. Marion screamed and took shelter against the wall. The man, obviously in pain, grabbed Ronnie by the neck and tore him away from his arm. The flesh ripped away like paper. Ronnie used his hands and shoved the rest of the man’s flesh into his mouth.  The man clenched his arm. The bleeding wouldn’t stop. But that didn’t stop the man from high tailing it out of the room and the third class passengers deck.

You’re effin’ crazy woman! You two can die down here for all I care!

The man rushed out of the room. He didn’t look back. He just kept running. Even the sounds of Marion’s screams didn’t make him think twice about playing hero twice. Even the puddle of blood seeping out from the room, didn’t grab his attention. He raced up the stairs, tossing the door open, running far away from Ronnie and his wife. He didn’t even bother to shut and lock the door as he vanished into the corridors of the ship.