Preparing For The Zombie Apocalypse

If you look to the right of this post, you will see the exact time the world will end and the zombies will rise. I am no scientist but according to our friends, the Mayans, the world will end on December 21st, 2012. It’s getting closer and that means time on Earth is coming to an end. You better get ready to fight. You better know how to fend off the hordes of zombies. They may have been neighbors, friends, family, or co-workers. But once those poor schmucks were bitten and the their virus-filled saliva filled their veins, they are no longer friends, family, and co-workers. They are the undead and they have one job to do. To f**king eat you.

I keep myself up to date with the end of the world debate. Some folks say it won’t. Some claim it’s just the end of the Mayan’s long calendar. What about people who are taking all the leap years in effect to make it proven that if the Mayan’s claim the world will end on December 21st, 2012, it should have already ended due to the added days. (we can thank Mr. Julius Ceasar for that.)You have those religious freaks claiming it’s actually Armageddon and Jesus will come  back to go 3 rounds with Satan, giving him a good ole, TKO before the world finally comes to an end. The issue of the world ending is universal. If the world doesn’t end on 12/21/12, it will end sometime. When it does, it will be because of zombies. It will not be Jesus. It will not be the world falling apart like in the movie, “Noah’s Ark: 2012 “.

There is some preparation needed for when the zombies do come around and devour up the living. You don’t want to be one of those poor saps who get feasted on within the first reel of the movie, do you? I don’t think so. You need to work out. You need to get your ass in shape and know how to haul ass when they start shuffling towards you. But if these zombies are Zack Snyder or Danny Boyle zombies, you better be able to run a good distance in minutes. Those f**kers are fast. You may be asking yourself, “how do I prepare for a zombie outbreak?” You can build a zombie-proof home (drawbridge included) or you can do what I’ll be doing. Get out there and run. Run a 5k , zombie infested obstacle course to prepare for what will soon be a normal routine come, December 21st, 2012.

If you have been reading my blog then you know I have started running. It’s a good thing for many reasons. I quit smoking (80+ days), getting some great exercise and while I get in shape, I am also unknowingly readying myself for what will be the future we’ll all have to face.  My sister posted a link to a race on Facebook a few months back. I watched it and  was hooked. I was thrilled with the idea of two things I enjoy.

Running and zombies.

This isn’t a normal race where you run up and down some roads. This is an obstacle course with zombies. The race, Run for Your Lives is being held in 11 different cities across the United States. The prices vary depending on city and how far in advance or how late you register to run. If you don’t want to run, you can pay to be a spectator or be a zombie to hunt down and turn us runners into one of you. After the race there is an End of Days party for people to attend. Expect live music, food, drinks, and zombies. Check out their official video below. Watch it and you’ll be hooked too.




Layout For Missouri

Does that not sound awesome!? The first race will take place in Massachusetts. Other states to follow are, Minnesota, Indiana, Colorado, Washington, Missouri, Pennsylvania, California, Maryland, Florida, and Texas. The site does list the cities and dates for each race. Be sure to sign up early. The longer you wait, the more you’ll pay. Plus, you may miss out on getting a spot and miss a great and memorable event. The Run for Your Lives website is explains a lot about the race (FAQ) and what you need to do to prepare before the race. Oh, they have rules too. Damn, rules. Don’t let the rules discourage you from running or taking part in the event. They are there to keep us safe from before the race begins to the end of the race and beyond.

 With the maps online showing you the course, that’s about all we know as of yet. As of now, there is no word on what kind of obstacles we’ll have to face. The site does say,

Expect the unexpected. Our obstacles will be challenging, but not impossible. Stay tuned to our site, “Like” us onFacebook and follow us on Twitter for all obstacle updates, as we release them periodically leading up to race day.

I don’t know if that excites me not knowing or if I should be scared. I don’t want to get eaten. I want to survive this thing. Knowing the course and what lies ahead of me will be good to know to make plans and maybe do a little pre-planning before the real thing. If I don’t survive the race, it will be okay. Everyone who finishes can first give themselves a pat on the back for running. That there is a feat in itself. We’ll all get a medal, even if you turn. Zombies were people too. They deserve recognition for running. Also included as a keepsake will be the running bib (runners only), a tee shirt, and maybe one less appendage.

This is my training for the real zombie apocalypse. Still undetermined when it will happen but I am sure it’ll be on 12/21/12. That’s a good time away from now but when I do run the race, it’ll be just a few short months till the world is over run by the walking dead.

Are you planning on attending the race? What will you be doing? Running, watching, or chasing? Running or chasing, you’re still preparing yourself somehow. Who knows, you may turn and all that chasing will pay off when you do become one of the undead. If you aren’t taking part, I suggest you do. You don’t want to be unprepared when the dead do rise. Blow this off and my friend, well…you’re proper fucked.


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