04/13/12

Titanic Being ReReleased

James Cameron isn’t too happy with the results of the 3D version of his epic movie, Titanic. I checked out his twitter account to see if there was any news about his failed attempt at bringing Titanic back a newer generation. After reading reviews about how the movie didn’t live up to its first release, James took it not as a slap in the face but as a challenge. Be sure to open up you calendar on April 10th, 2013. James Cameron is rereleasing Titanic for a third time. This time he promises it won’t disappoint.

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08/16/10

DieTanic: Part III

Marion went up a flight of stairs to find the doctor. She just hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t shove her aside because her class. The third class passengers had no doctor on hand. Most of the first class passengers didn’t care either. If they died, it meant nothing. Just one less problem to ruin the country. Marion reached the top of the stairs. She was stopped by a locked door. Marion jiggled the knob. Nothing. She knocked. Nothing. She persisted. Marion knocked again, only louder this time. She shouted from behind the door. The door opened slowly. Standing in front of her was a man dressed in the finest clothes imaginable. He looked at Marion. His lips curled with disgust.

Can I help you?

Marion wiped away the tears already forming. She came to and took a moment to regain her composure.

Please. I need a doctor. My husband is sick. He’s going to die if we don’t get him any help.

The man stood there for a bit. He looked at Marion. He hesitated. He wasn’t a doctor. The man had no training to the medical profession at all. The most he could do was apply a band-aid. Even at times, he needed help with that. Lucky for him, he had a staff of 40 to come to his every need. He looked at Marion. Her eyes were watering up. She quivered. Her jaw shook and she tried to ask again for some sort of pity.

Please. He’s dying.

The man looked left and looked right. The coast was clear. He took off his jacket and placed it on a nearby bench.

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

Marion thanked the man countless times as they walked back down the stairs toward her room. As they walked down the hallway, Marion noticed the door to her room was wide open. She looked perplexed. She knew she shut the door. She had fear and hope running through her mind. Maybe Ronnie felt better and got up. Maybe someone else came to his rescue. She also had horrible thoughts about what could be inside the room. She might find her husband but she didn’t return fast enough. She could be returning to the room as a  widow. Marion and the gentleman walked towards the room. He heart would beat faster the closer she got. He didn’t have much compassion for her or for her husband. He was doing this out of pity. He really wasn’t sure why he was doing it. But at least he can say he did something nice for a change.

Marion stood at the enterence to the room. She waited for the man to catch up. She raised her arm and pointed inside.

He’s right in there.

The man said ‘okay’ and walked in. He turned to Marion with a look of anger.

This some kind of joke, lady?

She was just as puzzled as he was. She walked into the room. She gasp and covered her mouth. Ronnie wasn’t there. The room was empty.She ran towards the bed, tossing herself on to it. She wallowed around in the bloody sheets. She cried, calling out to Ronnie.

Ronnie!? Where are you!? Where did you go Ronnie?

The man leaned against the door frame. He asked where Ronnie was.

He was right here! Right here is where I left him. I don’t know where he could have gone. He was…was…

Marion broke down. She sat on the bed, the sheets pressed to her face. She just cried for his return. She just wanted her Ronnie back. The gentleman walked over to Marion. He knew he had to comfort her in this time of need. He sat on the bed, his back to the door. He pulled in her close and give her a hug. Marion’s head was resting on his shoulder when out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone behind the door. It was Ronnie.

Ronnie, is that you?

He came out from the darkness. Marion shrieked. It was him. He just didn’t look well. Almost dead. He stumbled closer to her. He didn’t talk. Just incoherent grumbles. Marion tapped on the man’s shoulder to motion him to turn around. He did so. He saw Ronnie. Ronnie lunged at the man, knocking Marion to the floor. The man fought with Ronnie. After much fighting, he knocked Ronnie to the ground. Marion raised her voice and screamed at the man for treating Ronnie like an animal. Ronnie flopped on the floor, doing all he can to sit up. Once he finally get to his knees, he lunged at the man. He sank his teeth into the man’s arm. Blood squirted out in all directions. Marion screamed and took shelter against the wall. The man, obviously in pain, grabbed Ronnie by the neck and tore him away from his arm. The flesh ripped away like paper. Ronnie used his hands and shoved the rest of the man’s flesh into his mouth.  The man clenched his arm. The bleeding wouldn’t stop. But that didn’t stop the man from high tailing it out of the room and the third class passengers deck.

You’re effin’ crazy woman! You two can die down here for all I care!

The man rushed out of the room. He didn’t look back. He just kept running. Even the sounds of Marion’s screams didn’t make him think twice about playing hero twice. Even the puddle of blood seeping out from the room, didn’t grab his attention. He raced up the stairs, tossing the door open, running far away from Ronnie and his wife. He didn’t even bother to shut and lock the door as he vanished into the corridors of the ship.

07/24/10

DieTanic: Part II

Gwen and Walt are sitting alone, enjoying a glass of wine and the riches that surround them. This treatment was nothing new to either of them. They were both born into wealth. Walt’s father was a business man and from the money he idly threw around, a very good one indeed. Gwen’s father was born into money. His father was born into money, and his father was as well. It was destiny. They both never knew what it meant to be poor, nor have they ever wished it.

The two talk about the ship. They gawk and gasp at every little thing that was in the room. Walking or more like stumbling by them is Debbie and her newly made friend, Mr. Bayard. Doug Bayard is just as inebriated as Debbie. Gwen looks at Walt and smiles, cringing in the process. Gwen sets her drink down and smiles at Debbie as she stands inches from the table.

Ms. Krepts. I see you found the bar with no problem.

Debbie nods. She doesn’t take offense to the blatantly obvious remark. She puts her hand on Mr. Bayard shoulder.

Oh, how rude of me. This is my friend, Mr. Bayard. He was just about to show me the bridge of the ship. You two want to the grand tour?

Debbie tosses her hands in the air, and puts a strong emphasis on the word, “grand“.  It turns out, Mr. Bayard, is quite well known around the ship and very well known with the Captain. Mr. Bayard is a priceless art dealer. He points to a painting that hangs above the bar.

You see that one right there? It might be worth less than those in third class but the story behind the painting make it priceless. Folks paid pretty good money to get it on board.

Gwen asks, “Then why did you sell it?”

It’s cursed. Strange things happen when you’re around this painting. They say those that have the painting in their possession will meet death. But that’s just a silly story. I had the painting for 2 years and I’m still alive. But I didn’t sell it cause of the curse. It’s all about the money.

Gwen and the others look at each other. Walt didn’t say anything to Gwen but just from the look her gave her, the uneasy feeling that had just swept over her was gone. Debbie nudges Doug who was still deep into the painting. He remembers instantly about the tour of the bridge. Walt steps aside and waves him forward, letting him lead the way. As the four leave, Debbie grabs a wine bottle off of a waiter’s tray. She takes a quick swig before turning around. She waves the bottle in the air and thanks him.

Everything appears fine above deck but to the people in the third class section, they soon will know what fear and death really means. The third class passengers are cramped into tiny rooms. They don’t look much like rooms. You can probably consider them janitor closets. The couple from earlier, Ronnie and Marion, are alone in their room. She is busy unpacking what little belongings they have. Ronnie is still passed out on the bed. He is tired, weak, almost near death. Marion would be lost without him. He is the bread winner of the family. They don’t have kids but he always promises her that one day they will. This trip is going to change everything for them. He is sure that before it is all over, they will be richer. Not with money but with the experience and maybe it’ll be the night they conceive a child together. Marion sits on the edge of the bed and holds his hand in hers. Ronnie coughs and sits up. She taps his hand and let’s him know that everything will be okay.

I’ll be right back, Ronnie. Let me see if I can find us a doctor. You’ll be up and enjoying this trip in no time.

Marion leaves the room. She leans against the door for a bit. Marion cries. She knows that he wasn’t going to live much longer. She can’t tell him that. He needs some sort of assurance that everything is going to be okay. She wipes the tears from her eyes and walks away from her cabin. Marion takes to the stairs but before going up, she takes one last look towards her room. She whispers an, “I love you” and proceeds to make her way to the upper deck to find a doctor.

07/22/10

DieTanic: Part I

I love movies just like everyone else. I bet if I could, I could write one better than movies that are today. I watched the scary movies. I’ll sit through the campy movies. Sci-fi movies are fun. Western movies aren’t horrible. (unless you consider Westworld) It boarders on both the science fiction and the western. I like musicals. I like action movies, sport movies, suspense, etc… I like animated movies. I just love movies. It’s my escape from the world and one of the things I like doing alone. Out of all those genres, horror movies are by far, my favorite. You can break horror movies into so many sub-genres. We have serial killers, the supernatural, gore, monsters, slasher, and my favorite, the zombie genre.

I recently watched, “Zombies of Mass Destruction”.

It takes place on a small island town. A blind man stumbles upon an undead body. The screen goes black and without seeing anything, we know the blind man met his doom. We pan around the town meeting the locals. We meet the mayor, his running mate, a man and his friend returning to the island to come out to his mother. After a long ass scene in a car, we finally get to see the zombie attack start. The high point of that scene was watching the driver get his face ripped off and eaten by the zombie.

One by one, people are eaten alive. The gore wasn’t there. The story was lame. The acting was weak. The movie basically sucked. I know I can write a better movie than that. I can write a zombie movie. It can’t be that hard. How hard is it? (that’s what she said)

Months ago, I came up with an idea for a movie. I didn’t have a name for it. I knew the idea. I knew how I wanted it to play out. I just needed a name. Something that would catch the appeal of the audience.  Lucky me, I have friends who are into movies (zombie movies) just as much as I am. We came up with an idea so amazing, I don’t know if I should share it.

Eff it. I will.

Can a movie get any cooler than that!? We all know the story about the Titanic. But what we were all taught when we were younger, were all lies. What if a iceberg was really just a cover up? The real reason the ship sink was because of zombies. The movie wasn’t going to be about the Titanic. I just wanted to write a movie about zombies. I had no idea how the movie was to play out. I figured it would be some virus that came aboard a ship. I was going to use Haiti as the island for the start of it all. Sadly, they had some earthquake or a hurricane, something or rather. But that kind of put that idea to an end. I could have stuck with them but if I did, people would have thought I was some asshole. I don’t want people to think that. I am not an asshole. I am just….hmm.. I don’t know. But an asshole is what I am not.

I know I want Eddie Griffin to star in it. He has to. He’s not a great actor. He’s not anyone special. But he just has to be in the movie for one line.

Hey, man! You mean to tell me they can spend 4 million dollars on a boat but they can’t spend no 50 dollars on an electric bill?

Funny? Eff you if you think otherwise. I was wanting his character to go down to the bellow of the ship and investigate a strange noise. Of course, the power is out. He flips the switch a few times but gets nothing. With no luck, he speaks that amazing line. Granted, being on a ocean liner they wouldn’t really have an electric bill.

DIETANIC

We begin our movie watching people pile on the Titanic. The rich are the first to walk on board. They are treated like kings and queens. Gwen (Sigourney Weaver) notices the crowd of third class passengers, leans over to he husband (played by the ever amazing, Kevin Spacey) and says,

Do those things really need to come aboard? Walt, they will be the death of me.

He comforts her and tells her not to worry. They won’t bother her. Being the low class passengers, they’ll spend all the time in the bottom part of the liner.

They”ll be below deck. Like in the sewers of the city. Where they belong.

The two of them board the ship. The ship is glorious. They are in awe of the splendor of the ship. This truly is a ship of dreams. As the other high class people board, the crew begin to realize that there may be problem. There isn’t enough boats. But they idea is laughed off. Why worry about boats? This ship is unsinkable. Inside, Gwen and Walt meet up with Debbie Krepts (Anne Heche). She wasn’t always rich and wealthy. She wasn’t born into a rich family. After she married a wealthy man, she changed. Money changes everyone.

She sides with Gwen about the third class passengers. The journey would be more enjoyable if they weren’t on board. The three of them chat for a bit till then feel its best to grab a few drinks before the ship sets sail.

The captain is going over the course they are to take. The weather is to be clear. Nothing really to worry about. The thought of an icebreg is brought up but the captain shrugs it off. The final passengers were boarding. It would only be a matter of time before they can set sail for the first time.

More first class passengers pile in. The thought of sharing this ocean liner with those less fortunate, turns them off. They don’t want these people to interfere with them. They are scum. They carry diseases. They are a burden on society. It all came down to, “we’re better than you”. But these high class people were unaware of what was about to be brought on board. At the end of the line was a man and his wife. A third class couple who really had nothing to lose. They approached the front of the line. She is an attractive woman but that didn’t matter. Her beauty was over shadowed by her lack of money. Her husband looked weak. He looked tired and worn out. They have traveled a long way to be on the ship. The ships hand is reluctance to let them on board with his condition but with her persuasion, he lets them on. Only if he knew then what horror he was bringing on board, he would have told them now. The couple crossed the bridge and were guided immediately, towards the third class section of the ship.  The woman carried her husband the whole way. He was too weak to walk on his own. Arriving at their room, he collpase on the bed and rested.

I’ll be fine in an hour. I just need to rest.

These two were the last people to board. The crowd on the shore cheered loudly. People on deck, waved and clapped their hands as the ship began to set sail. The ship parted from the dock. THe maiden voyage has started. These select few people were about to embark on a journey they soon wish they didn’t did. The Titanic was carrying 2,223 people on board. By the next day, only 706 people will be alive to tell the tale of what really didn’t happened.