10/3/11

The Coven Moves In Town

I have lived in the complex for over a year now. I came here hoping for some sense of security. I was hoping that everything would be okay. Soon after I moved in, I was met with some serious issues. The apartment I live in has some dark history. I wasn’t told about it from the landlords. I did my own research and sleuthing to discover these secrets. I have told the story many times about the Dead Zombie Wife living in my walls. She has been dormant for a while now. That is a plus for me. I don’t know if I would be able to take her evil ways much longer. With Claudia, then came the Ghost of Carlos. Another spirit that resides in what I thought would be a safe and happy environment. Do you see what I am getting at? How can a person possibly live in a place full of ghosts and zombies? Turns out, these two lost souls are not the only things that go bump in the night. Now, I have to deal with a witch.

Continue reading

09/17/11

And then there was one.

What an eventful night. It was just before midnight, when I awoke from my slumber. There I was, asleep in my cap. I am a heavy sleeper. I will sleep through everything. Scratch that. I will wake up to two things. My alarm clock on my phone and a phone call. Sometimes I do sleep through a phone call but for this story, I will say I only wake up to them. Honestly, I am a heavy sleeper. I rarely wake up to noises. Even the crying of a newborn won’t wake me up. If hell was raining down and a meteor was about to wipe out mankind, I will not be awake for such a cataclysmic event. To the story at hand. There I was, asleep on the couch. I had just finished some terrible movies and felt the only way to wash that filth off was to sleep and hopefully erase any memory of it from my noggin’.  A ruckus startled me and I jumped from the couch to see what was the matter. The noises I was hearing was vivid in my dream. The only thing I recall from my dream was hearing the commotion outside. I went to the door and peeked outside to see what it was. This sudden fear overcame me. I dove back on my couch with a metal bar clutched in my hand. I gripped it tightly where it dug into my palm, spilling blood. With a blood stained hand, I ran to another room. My old roommate was in his bedroom. I called to him, screaming about the madness outside but being a dream, the only thing I could do was shout out nothing but dead air. It was as if I had the wind knocked out of me and I couldn’t speak.

I finally woke up to the sounds of sirens and people screaming.  It was Armageddon outside. A gaggle of people were outside, each of them hooting and a hollering. Even with the wails of police sirens and the kaleidoscope of red and blue growing in size, the ruffians continued to partake in their illegal activities.  I wouldn’t be so pissed off if I were awake at the time but these buffoons disturbed my sleep. This enraged me. Maybe I would be nicer if Freddy Krueger was creeping up on me with his glove in hand and they saved me but that isn’t the case. Krueger isn’t real. These kids are. They unleashed the Hulk in me.

Hulk smash!

With no respect for others, they broke out the stereo equipment and had their own Rockfest in their front yard. I’m all for all night partying. I do it but when I do, it’s in the comfort of my own home. It’s just me, a bottle of beer (or captain if I’m man enough) and my Internet to keep me company. I go outside and I see three…no four. Wait! Five! Yes, six squad cars surrounding one of the buildings like they were seal six staking out Bin Laden. This isn’t the first time and will not be the last time the cops are called to my complex. Some of the kids run away from the apartment before the police can arrive to control the situation. Others hopped in their cars and sped off. I don’t think they had gotten very far. The police were all over the place. I am sure they were stopped and booked for being complete douches.

Aside from the hooting and hollering, a girl is screaming. It could have been either a scream for help or a I’m a crazy white bitch scream.  Putting my knowledge of Agatha Christie novels to use, I was like Hercule Poirot. I deducted that this hellish scream was in fact a,  “let’s wake up the effin neighborhood” scream. At least one party guest was kind enough to care about the other tenants in the area and he politely asked her to, ‘shut the hell up, bitch’. Thank you, kind sir. I tip my non existent hat to you. You saved us all from permanent ear damage and also brought an end to the miracle ear stock.  

I sit outside, dazed and confused. (alright alright, alright) The Boston Pops are as baffled as I am. We watch the ordeal unfold before us. We are all captivated by the police presence and their quick arrival. If I was to be truthful, their quick arrival was the most captivating. Too bad my local police force wasn’t on call in New Orleans six years ago. The cops were flashing their flashlights on them. They lined up the thugs and calmed them down. Pretty impressive for the GPD to wrangle these users and shut them the hell up. From where we were sitting we couldn’t make out much of the situation but it was clear that these kids weren’t getting a simple slap on the wrist. We waited and placed bets on when the paddy wagons would show up. How amazing would that be? Imagine seeing three or four wagons pull up, handcuff each individual and shove them (nicely I should add) inside the wagons. 

We watch. We wait. We talk about the flea infestation and compare battle scars from their bites. It is unsure as to who brought these insects inside our dwelling. I had a short visit from an old friend. He brought his cat along. Being the animal lover that I am, I said it would be better and more humane to let the cat inside instead of keeping it locked in a car overnight. The Boston Pops were cat sitting a friend’s four-legged friend. My detective skills lacked here. We don’t know who brought this hell on us but they at least bombed their home. Good for them but bad for me. I still have yet to bomb my place. Thinking about it now, maybe since they have bombed their apartment, all the fleas decided to jump ship and choose my home to squat in. I know the Boston Pops are having a good laugh over this now. I figured out their plan. If it isn’t the Ghost of Carlos or the Dead Zombie Wife, it’s fleas. These blood sucking vermin now plague me. Could this have been the diabolical plan all along? The devil moves the Boston Pops in. I gain their trust. Then after the trust is gained and the fear of having my soul taken away, they strike. They unleash the fleas to not only only drain me of my blood but scar me for life, physically and emotionally. I should have never let my guard down. I need to act fast and kill these blood suckers before they kill me first.

How did I get off track? I am sorry about that. This post isn’t about the fleas. I am talking about the other parasites that is infesting my hood. Time ticks by. The money pot is still there and we have yet to see any wagons pull up. It’s about 1am now. The craziness is dying down. Some of the squad cars have left to either head back to the station or patrol our neighborhood. Some of the bothersome and trouble making tenants were told to leave. One by one, cars drove off. The party grew smaller and smaller, leaving just one person…

And then there was one. This chain smoking fool would come outside every five or so minutes. He has some balls I tell yeah. Still parked outside was a lone policeman or woman. I never did lift up their tail to see. This lone officer parked his vehicle on the right side of the street. His high beams on, he sat alone in his car filling out the countless reports him and his men had the dull task of doing. Maybe the lighting was not soothing where he was parked but he decided to move to the other side of the street to finish up with the reports. He is met up by other patrol car. They talk shortly. He still resides there parked conspicuously, hiding in the darkness ready to pounce of the unsuspecting people who think the coast is clear. When all seems fine, he turns off his beams and drives off in the distance. Another day on the job. Another neighborhood safe from the evil of those who disturb the peace.

But what is that? What comes out of the darkness? We spot a black Acura. It may have been white or green, or any other color. Since it was night time and things are dimly lit, everything looks black. So this mysterious Acura drives slowly by my and the Boston Pops apartment. It is like those movies you see when gang banging thugs drive slowly by someone before they pull out their glocks and end the life of those who might speak negatively about them. We were safe. We so no guns and didn’t get a talking to from the driver or passengers in the car. They have more important things to worry about. They had to pick up the stash they tossed out their window. Not wanting to head to prison who a narcotics charge, these ingenious people dropped their drugs in an empty lawn. After the police presence dispersed, they went to the drop point to retrieve the bag of goodies. We wanted to be good citizens and flag down a passing by patrol car but they didn’t stop. They ignored us cause I am sure he was thinking, ‘what the eff do they want? I have more important things to do.” I could be thinking too much into this. Maybe he didn’t ignore us cause he didn’t want to spend more time filling out statement. Maybe he just didn’t see us. We were tucked away behind some trees. He just didn’t see us. Plain and simple.

Still, it would have been awesome to see some drug dealers get busted. I mean we never did see any paddy wagons. That put a damper on the night. At least give us something to get excited about. Give us some action. Give us the gratitude of making our neighborhood safer and actually feel like we contributed to society. The only contribution we do for society is paying taxes. That’s not rewarding. Thanks a lot, officer. You ripped what little joy I had left in me that night. The Acura drove off. He made a few circles around the hood, presumably to lose the cops trail. He was gone. But remember the last party goer? That chain smoking fool thought it was safe to finally leave the scene of the crime and meet up with the others. Maybe he was looking for the Acura. That might have been his stash. Whatever reason it was, he was driving and ready to elude the police. He pulled out of the parking lot and made his way past us. A police car appears out of nowhere and follows him. The chain smoker makes a right and the cop follows. Who knows how many lefts and rights he made but in the distance, we could see the ominous glow of red and blue lights filling the darken sky. It was at that point we knew it was all over for smoking Joe Camel. All those constant hours of playing Grand Theft Auto didn’t pay off. He had been caught and was ready to pay the piper. Hopefully he isn’t a narc. Don’t want him turning in the Acura. No telling how tough those suburban gang bangers truly are.

The night was over. It was almost two in the morning. The cold, September night was getting to us. We both retreated back inside. I nestled myself back on the couch. I closed my eyes and hoped for a good night sleep. Sleeping is hard once you get awoken midway though your sleep cycle. I have every right to complain. They ruined my night and ruined my normal sleep schedule. I just hope that with my sleep pattern now out of whack, I can get it back to normal before I start my new job. If I am late, I will use this as an excuse. I just hope they buy it. Would suck to lose my job over something like this…unless this is the work of the witch. But that my friends, is a whole other story for another time.

05/28/11

Carlos Is Back

After months of silence, I have an eerie feeling that the Ghost of Carlos is back. I really thought I was done with him. I made a pact with the devil. The new neighbors came to my rescue. All those things should have saved me from the ongoing torment I get from Carlos. But he is back. He’s returned once more to make my life hell.  I don’t really know if ghost take vacations. If they do, then eff them. They at least do something I don’t. The other day while I was watching television, my phone went crazy. I was getting notifications from an application I use. The app is called, iCam. It is a security camera that will alert me when there is motion. While this could be a very good thing, it can also be something very scary. There have been stories about people catching criminals lurking about their house with this application and many like it.

Continue reading

01/7/11

Carlos Is Pissed.

I know the repetition of hearing about Carlos and Claudia gets old but I feel I need to share a tad bit of information about the Ghost of Carlos. I know the man is back and is once again causing me grief. It could have been him that give me the deadly cold I was stricken with but I highly doubt it was him. I don’t think ghost can give you a voodoo curse. I know it was the witch that sent this cold my way. The only good thing about the cold and the curse was it didn’t work as planned. I assume she didn’t have the blood of a virgin butterfly. Maybe the blood of some easy, whorish butterfly but not a pure one. Plus one for me for beating the witch and her wicked ways.

Aside from that, I am fully aware of the evilness of Carlos. While I sat in my room the other day, I was hearing the haunting calls of Carlos. I listened to my music, jamming away and playing a rousing game of Spider Solitaire, when out of the blue I started hearing the cries of a children. Poor kids. I don’t like when kids cry. I don’t even like it when kids are around me. Those things are nothing but trouble.

The children were laughing at first. It was pleasant. Not saying I want to hear kids laugh and giggle, but it’s better than hearing them cry in sheer terror. Before I knew it, they began to cry and shriek in terror. What could be the matter? What could be causing these children to act in such a manner? I pressed me ear to the ground. I don’t think I was being nosy. I was being a concerned neighbor. I heard a loud thump, a door slam and the children screamed bloody murder. I wish I was a fly in that room right then and there. To see what was the matter. I know what it was. I know what it is. It was the Ghost of Carlos. I have said before that I have never met the children, nor have I ever met his wife. I don’t even know if the wife is alive or if she ever really existed. Could she have left when she found out about the affair between Carlos and Claudia? I don’t know. I do know that their are children living below me and once I noticed the return of Carlos and Claudia, the kids become more active. Makes me wonder if the kids are connected to Carlos and Claudia. Before this haunting happened, it was as if the kids were no more. I heard nothing below me. Now, it’s a daily headache. The kids are up all the time. They make noises at all hours of the day. I hear them running around all day and night. What are they running from? If it’s something in the house, why not run out of those instead of running in circles like some bad Benny Hill video?

Where was I? Oh, yes. The other day. With my ear pressed to the ground, I heard what sounded like a man talking. It was Carlos. He had made himself known to the kids and is terrifying them. The children would scream each time Carlos would let out a ghastly moan. Each time they screamed, he groaned louder. The children still continued to cry. Carlos continued spooking them with the ghostly powers he has This went on for at least five minutes. The last, final scare came as a demon like roar. The kids screamed loudly. I heard them run out of the room. A door slammed and then silence from Carlos. His short haunting was over. It was becoming quite unpleasant. I don’t know what to do. I have never battled a ghost and if I ever had to, I am sure I would eff up and cross the streams.

I sat on the floor. I scratched my head and was puzzled. What am I to do? I cannot and will not intervene. My life would be at stake. I am already dealing with a zombie living in my walls and have had Carlos visit me before, I don’t want to see this apparition face to face. I feel bad for the children. While they look to Carlos for support, he haunts them with not a care in the world. I don’t know what he is working towards. I am not going to swoop in and save the kids. I don’t give two sheets about them. They can deal with this pissed off ghost all their self. But with Carlos being more active, I fear what will happen when Claudia reaches her boiling point. These two work as a team. Still, I wonder why he is spooking the children. What do the children mean? While I always assumed the children were ghosts themselves, this proves they aren’t. I haven’t even see the kids. I have never seen Carlos. I have never seen his wife. Strange, huh? You’d think that I would at least see someone at least once. Just proves to me that he is a ghost. That his wife isn’t with him anymore and the kids are forced to never leave the house. If they were to get outside, they could put an end to his reign of terror. They could bring peace to this complex. He cannot have them leave and tell the world of his existence. I hope that this was just an isolated incidence. I hope that he never resorts to scaring his kids like that again. It was pure agony. To hear children scream like that made my blood curl. They are trapped and have no way out. If someone else occurs, I will inform you all. Till then, children be safe. Carlos will one day find the light. The ghost whisperer will lead you there.

12/11/10

They’re Back…

It has been a while since I have seen or heard from Claudia. The Lazy Laundriers had moved out. Maybe they were run out by her. They did pack everything up and high tail it out of here pretty quickly. When they new neighbors moved in next door, I was excited. I like to think of them like a gift from God. At first, I was worried. It was storming the day they moved in. That was an omen I thought of bad things to come. The evil weaseled its’ way in secretly. But things change. They were good people. They are good people. I retracted my statement about them being evil and welcomed them with open arms. I was going to be okay. Things were going to get better. I wasn’t going to be bothered by Claudia anymore.

Continue reading