I am going to share a fantastic dessert that will be a huge hit with everyone at the party. It is very easy to make and only needs 5 items. I don’t know if this dessert is floating about anywhere else on the web but I like to claim it as my own. I made it one day at work. I have never made it at home before but did and it came out nicely. I hope you enjoy it. If you love peanut butter like I do then I know you will.
I am well-educated in many fields. I can do it all and like Annie Oakley, I can do it better than you, you, and you. Will I be the best? No. I am not arrogant. I might talk a big game but I know I am not the great, powerful, and all-knowing. We’ll leave that to the Wizard of Oz. There will always be someone who is better at something than me and better than you are. That statement is not really true. It gets me thinking about the other old saying,
“There is always someone worse off than you.”
What about if you are the last person? There has to be someone who is the last on the list. They must feel horrible. I would never want to be her. I’d say him but that would mean the most worse off person is a man and that my friend is laughable. If someone is going to be the worst off person in the world, it will be a woman. I am not sexist, ladies. I am just honest and that’s not because we are all created equal and it’s not because my mom raised me that way. It is because I am man and man is never wrong. We were wrong once when we gave you the power to vote. We are sorry about that and we are still beating ourselves up over that.
I know I am a very funny guy. I also know that I am funnier than the untalented stand up comic(?), Dane Cook. Wow, just like that. I throw it right out there. I would have babbled on some before getting to the point at hand but something of this nature needs to be addressed quickly. I dislike this guy. I really do. I do not see what others do and what appeal he has on the general public. Sure he can tell a knock knock joke and steal a situational comedic joke like Carlos Mencia but telling me how fat my mom is or what other hilarious and untrue circumstances he’s been in doesn’t qualify him as a comedian. Being funny does. That sir is one thing you don’t have. I’ve been to funerals that were more entertaining than you and the sad thing is, the guest of honor was funnier than you – even with them being in a coffin.
Sure Lehrer did an okay job for being stuck between two bickering fools. But maybe they should rethink who should moderate the next presidential debate. Even the moderator, Raddatz had her issues but she controlled those pair of fools better than anyone. There was no malarkey going on with Biden and Ryan. She took charge and moderated that debate with an iron fist. But who wants that? Who wants control and order? Let’s kick it up a notch and put someone else in charge of the next debate. I have someone in mind. What you think?
It has been months since the Boston Pops moved away. The apartment stayed vacant for a few months. I dreaded each day when my crappy landlords would showcase the empty abode to some random and probably criminal record holding, ruffian. Who is to know what kind of people they tried to get to squat next door to me. If it isn’t clear, you can obviously tell I am not too thrilled about my current living situation. I miss the Boston Pops. They were great neighbors and they did protect me from the evilness of Claudia (Dead Zombie Wife, the Ghost of Carlos, and the other unseen force determined to ruin me and rape me of all my life. All things end. Nothing last and while having an empty place I was able to run amok was fun and risqué, the old place couldn’t stay vacant forever. If it did, who would be there to ruin our children with the temptation of drugs, sex, and total anarchy? No one that’s who. These apartments have literally gone to shit. Worst place imaginable. I don’t think it’s in my contract/lease with these a-holes about talking smack on the place but I don’t care. I won’t mention where I live you but when I do move out (which is happening), I will unleash hell and explain how shady, horrible, and dangerous it is to live where I currently live. For now, the story about my new neighbor and the final straw that broke the camel’s back.