I said this to my roommate earlier today when he asked me to,
come. eat.
I laughed. He did too.
Come and Eat
Reply
Monthly Archives: August 2013
Open Letter To Ben Affleck
The recent news about Ben Affleck being Batman in the Superman sequel has sent the twitter world into a frenzy. I am going to go out on a limb and say this is possibly the worst idea ever. It’s not that I don’t think he can do it, I know he can’t. I know he will bring his cheeky smirk to a character that is supposed to be dark and moody. I’ve seen Daredevil. I know the acting capability of Mr. Affleck. I should share with you that I do not like him. I am sure he’s a super nice Bostonian but he just doesn’t impress me. He reminds me of Ryan Reynolds, just with a little more talent and likability. There I go. Now I am defending this man. I hope that they reconsider this atrocity of casting and pick an actor who can fill the nipple suit with class and a cold demeanor.
My Mom Loves Me The Least
Each child strives for love from their mother and father. We want them to love us endlessly and without ever saying it, we want them to love us the most. We want to be the favorite child among all the other window trolls. I am now certain that I am not my mother’s favorite child. I didn’t have to ask her and didn’t need a direct answer. It was because of the “funny story” she told me about my childhood. My sister talked about her birth. I’ll talk about mine. This is my story of my birth. This is me sharing with the internet how my mother has already explained wholeheartedly that I am not least favorite child.
My Roommate Agreement: Part 1
People like to compare me to the character on that semi-funny show, The Big Bang Theory. They like to say that I am a lot like Sheldon Cooper but from the bits and pieces of the that show I have seen, I don’t agree. But no matter. I can handle people comparing me to him but I cannot handle being called a certain name. If I were to say anything about Mr. Cooper and similarities between him and I, I would go with the extensive roommate agreement he had that dude from Roseanne sign. I have my own rules to being a roommate. I have rules to people being my wife. I have many rules for being my wife. I’ll link you to those later. For now, I want to share with you a collection of some of the rules a roommate must follow when they decide to live with me. If you don’t like these rules then I suggest you never get the idea in your head about you and I sharing a place together. It will never happen.
Grandma Judy Retires
I live in a strange neighborhood. Lots of weird and possibly, supernatural things go on here. I moved here three years ago and in these
three years of trying to avoid the craziness, I was pulled in. I had to deal with an odd array of people. Not all the people who I have encountered have been odd and supernatural. I will exclude the Boston Pops from it. They are normal people. They are still friends and still the only sane people who have resided in this hell hole of a place I live in. It was that family who kept the evil entities at bay. They were basically saviors, sent by God to ward of the evil spirits, the ghosts, zombies, witches, and the evil Mormons who all tried so diligently to steal my soul and emotionally rape me of what little hope and happiness I had left. After the Boston Pops left, I was left to wonder who would be taking their spot? Who will be sent to protect me from the tormented souls that linger about? Was it Grandma Judy? Was it the old lady that took shelter in the vacant apartment to battle the demons and keep me safe from harm and eternal damnation? She was not a savior. She was also in the plan to rid me of my soul and finally finish the work that Claudia, Carlos, and the Evil Elder Mormons couldn’t. She was not here as an angel or a messenger of God but was here to brainwash me into joining her cult and if successful, I would be gone and then be property of the Dark Angel, Lucifer, the fallen angel and ruler of Hell.
