Open Letter To Ben Affleck

The recent news about Ben Affleck being Batman in the Superman sequel has sent the twitter world into a frenzy. I am going to go out on a limb and say this is possibly the worst idea ever. It’s not that I don’t think he can do it, I know he can’t. I know he will bring his cheeky smirk to a character that is supposed to be dark and moody. I’ve seen Daredevil. I know the acting capability of Mr. Affleck. I should share with you that I do not like him. I am sure he’s a super nice Bostonian but he just doesn’t impress me. He reminds me of Ryan Reynolds, just with a little more talent and likability. There I go. Now I am defending this man. I hope that they reconsider this atrocity of casting and pick an actor who can fill the nipple suit with class and a cold demeanor.

Ben,

I saw the blurb about you being cast as Batman and at first I thought, Oh, this must be a typo. No one would ever suggest you to be the Dark Knight. Upon further reading and the batman burnexplosion of hate and anger of the news, it dawned on me that this is true and not just a Hollywood rumor. Why? Why on Earth would you Batman? Who are the ad wizards that came up with that one? Are we being punk’ed? Did Snyder have one too many shots and drunkenly casts you? I feel like this is a kick in the balls to me and everyone else who adores Batman.

How do you even think you can do this role? What is going through your mind right now? Do you really think you’re cut out for it? Sorry, I just don’t like you. I don’t like you and it bothers me that you’re in Dogma when that is one of my favorite movies.  I wish I can list movies that you’ve been in that were awesome. I never saw Good Will Hunting. I never saw Reindeer Games. I don’t think I have seen many movies you’ve been in. I usually see your name attached and it saddens me that you were cast in a movie that’s great, like The Green Lantern.

I wish you would reconsider and restore balance to the twittersphere. The world is not ready nor are we equipped to deal with you playing such an iconic role. There are plenty of actors who are better suited for this role but you, Mr. Affleck, are not one of them. You may single-handedly destroy superhero movies if you sign that dotted line. You’ve made some poor decisions during your career. Should I remind you of Gigli?

It pleases me that I am not the only one boiling with anger after it was made public that you’ll be playing Batman. I thought I was the only person who disliked you. I said it already but I am sure you’re a nice guy. I just don’t like you as an actor. Maybe it’s the damn smirk you carrying with you in all your roles or maybe it’s just that I think you’re a terrible actor. Whatever the case may be, I think you being Batman will ruin the Batman name. Trust me. I saw Batman & Robin and that movie will be superior to your portrayal at Bruce Wayne. That movie was a train wreck from the moment pen hit paper. The moment you were casts as Batman, that my friend brought the world to its knees, enough to have the world forget about Snowden, Manning, and our corrupt government.

I should close this because I feel like I am repeating myself over and over. I know I am. I think the only real thing that should be said it that you being Batman is a f**king joke. A huge mistake and a large portion of the world agree with me when I say,

Ben Affleck Batman

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pitweston

I like food. I like the smell of cinnamon.

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