My Mom Loves Me The Least

Each child strives for love from their mother and father. We want them to love us endlessly and without ever saying it, we want them to love us the most. We want to be the favorite child among all the other window trolls. I am now certain that I am not my mother’s favorite child. I didn’t have to ask her and didn’t need a direct answer. It was because of the “funny story” she told me about my childhood.  My sister talked about her birth. I’ll talk about mine. This is my story of my birth. This is me sharing with the internet how my mother has already explained wholeheartedly that I am not least favorite child.

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Random Email From A Random Girl

I received an email earlier today from a gal a never met. According to her, we have. I read the email and after I finished, I came to the conclusion that her and I are meant to be with eachwebcamother. I haven’t contacted Adriana yet. I hope this isn’t fake. I really think this may be true love. I really think I have a shot with this wonderful girl. She seems level-headed and has a strong career. If it doesn’t work out between her and I, you’re welcome to try. Here is the email she sent me today. I was thinking about editing her mistakes and the poor grammar but I think it shows character. I think that is the thing that drew me towards her. If this was a spam email, you really think they would lace it with spelling errors and such? I highly doubt it. A human wrote this. A sexy, ready to dominate me, gal wrote this. I need to act fast. I don’t want to miss out on this. I am in love. I just hope she is too. True love or is she pulling the wool over my eyes?


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“I want to thank you all for coming. Today was to be a happy event. A time for us to celebrate a long life joined together by two people. Joan and I were to celebrate 50 years of marriage today. But two days ago, my wife went missing. I fear the worse. Joan was my wife. She was my friend. Some may think that going through with today’s event will only bring sadness. I think it’s a reason to relive the moments she spent with us. To remember how much she meant not only to me, but to everyone sitting amongst you. I had a speech I was planning on giving but I am not going to say it. Instead, I’ll read another one. This morning, as I sat alone at the table, I put pen to paper and wrote up something different. Something that she would enjoy. I know she’s not with us in person but where ever she is,  she’ll look over me like I once looked over her. Joan would have asked me already to stop rambling and to just get on with it. She never liked speeches. But this isn’t a speech. This is my heart speaking to her.”

I started my search,

at the moment of birth,

For the person meant for me.

And what do I find,

But a gal so divine,

A love that has to be.

She put her hand,

upon my chest,

to feel my heart beat fast.

It skipped a beat,

My life’s complete,

A love to always last.

We courted for months,

Till the time felt right,

for the question I must profess.

So on one knee,

I said my plea,

And watched as she said, yes.

At the altar I stood,

all stiff and afraid

Watching as she came to.

All dressed in white,

I knew I did right,

When asked she said, I do.

Our first house,

was quaint and well kept,

Expecting our first child.

For when they day came,

And Jeffery his name,

looked at me and smiled.

Now we’re a family.

mother, father,

and their boy.

But to our surprise,

and both with wide eyes.

A second child brought us joy.

We read to them,

and played with them,

and taught them wrong from right.

To share,

To care,

to always be polite.

“Jeffery and Sara, why don’t you stand up? These are my two wonderful children. But you’re not children anymore. You are adults. Two grown people with kids of their own. Nothing makes me happier than being a grandfather. Nothing made Joan happier than being a grandmother. She loved you kids very much. You brought her so much joy. She always said how you reminded her of your parents when they were your age. Your parents were a handful. We always joked about how we should have stopped at zero. But knowing what we know now and experiencing everything a parents gets to experience, we’re happy we didn’t. You two, Jeffery and Sara, we’re the best thing to ever happen to us.”

With money tight,

I work two jobs,

just to make ends meet.

And with me away,

Joan would play.

I feared my wife would cheat.

She denied the affair,

but I knew she lied,

for the smell upon her dress

And with her lies,

I still would try,

to get her to confess.

As time went on,

we drifted apart,

and slept in separate beds.

and now the whore.

will cheat no more,

for the slut will soon be dead.

“I know that it will probably come to a shock to many people but our love faded many years ago. We tried. We really did. But with me working double duty to provide for the family, Joan felt the need for companionship. How long it went on for, I do not know. How many people she slept with is only something she knew. I did love her. I know she loved me back. But we all have needs. And with me not being there, her needs were filled by random strangers. Strangers that stained the bed her and I shared. I swore one day she would pay for the heart she broke. Never did I think I would go through with it. But two days ago, as her and I were readying ourselves for today, I knew that 50 years of lies was too much for me. Two days ago my wife died. Not by the hands of God but my own.”

She combed her hair

and powdered her face,

as I sat and planned it all.

and at the stairs,

I pushed her there.

to watch the cheater fall.

Twisting and turning.

her body went limp.

her heartbeat finally ceases.

So with an axe.

I start to hack.

And chopped her into pieces.

Now you know.

but not it all,

I’ll tell you as a group.

Cause what you ate,

was something great.

my wife was in the soup.

“Thank you all for coming.”