Tag Archives: Rant

Why I Hate America

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I hate America. I do. I need out of this place. I need to start seeing places and traveling. I just don’t see it happening. I am not a worldly traveler. I wish I was. I want to see Europe. I want to see Canada and I would love to see the Far East. For the longest time I wanted to see Australia but not anymore. No country should  have spiders that kill people with a little bite. Snakes too. That place is scary. Too scary for me. So I am omitting that place from my list of places I want to see before I die, which if I keep living like I do, could be soon. I don’t want that. I have plans. I have goals. There is so much to know and so much to learn. I can’t die till I know who Ted’s mother is. Anything else is moot. That is all that matters. I just need to stay alive to see that event and to visit the countries and far off places I listed above.

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Yes, You Smell.

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I hope I don’t smell foul. I don’t want to have a pungent body odor. I rather just smell like nothing or if I was to go the extreme, I would rather smell like old spice than smell like the person I am about to discuss. The guy, who shall rename nameless, had a horrible issue with cleanliness. I never called him out on it but I had my way of making his unpleasant aroma known. Maybe he didn’t know but others did. Other people knew what I meant and from the turning of their noses and the holding of their breath, they too agreed that he smelled worse than a man I know currently who has an issue with smelling like cat urine.

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The Twinkie Tribulation of 2012

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When the news broke about Hostess closing down shop for good, people went nuts. They completely lost it and took that event as the end of the world. Will the world end because Hostess is gone and you can no longer enjoy the sweet, sugary goodness of the Twinkie? No. I already explained that it will be zombies. Just because you can’t get a Twinkie anymore doesn’t mean the world is going to end. It’ll be devastating to the survivors in the zombie apocalypse but it won’t destroy the world. Besides, I bet you are overreacting to the whole thing. I bet you are just jumping on the band wagon because other people are treating this like it’s something life threatening.  I bet you don’t even care about Hostess.

Calm down. It’s a f**king Twinkie. You’ll be fine.

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When did parents stop teaching manners?

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I see a lot of kids at my job. Usually they are wandering around with no guardian. These hobo children run amok and tend to believe they are some elite group of anarchists whose only goal is to watch the world burn. Giant display of apples? No problem. Let’s knock it down! Oh, look! A box of marbles. Let’s watch them roll across the floor while we laugh gleefully at the mess we made. I have not yet to witness either of those two examples I explained above but you can bet the house that sooner or later some ragamuffin will yank that apple off the table and stroll off like they had nothing to do with the granny smith apple collapse of 2012.

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Empty Threats

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I work in retail. I have had my share of irate customers. I’ve been yelled at and I was even called a “giant dick with big ears“. It’s one of those perks you get when you sign up for a life of retail and customer service. When you’re in the retail world you have a certain respect for people in the same career path. While I don’t condone rude behavior towards waiters, cashiers, and others like them, I too have a breaking point when I become the people I dislike and find to be soulless beings with little to no regard for the person they are talking down to.

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