06/18/09

Ketchup.

I love ketchup. I think it has to be the greatest condiment ever created. They are great with onion rings, tator tots, and fries. I should rephrase that and say, when I used to eat fries, ketchup went great with it. I lost my taste for fries. That’ll be for another day. Anyway, so like I was saying. Ketchup is magical. I was at work a few days ago and a woman called about placing an order for some food. It was a birthday party for kids. She plans on getting hot dogs and burgers. I inquired about condiments. I figured they’ll want ketchup and relish. (not a fan of relish but I know kids like it) She said not to forget the mustard. I despise mustard. I think it’s horrible. I can’t explain the taste. I want to say burnt but that’s not what it taste like. I won’t even do honey mustard. She commented that she loves mustard and that her husband loves ketchup! The story doesn’t end there. Oh, no. She says, “He puts it on his steak.” Now, I can’t codemned the man for doing that. I did it when I was little. I grew up and now I like A1 or any type of steak sauce.

To not make this man out to be some freak, I like ketchup on my ham. When it’s Easter or Christmas, or anytime we have ham, I’ll pour ketchup right on it. It’s just something I do. I get looks and people turn up their noses at me when they see me put ketchup on my ham. Eff you, people. I work with food and I have been asked some weird requests. I’ll share those later.

What are you suppose to put on ham? I know it has brown sugar and pineapple and cloves, but what do you dip it in? Meatloaf has ketchup. Steak has its own sauce. Chicken is universal. You can put just about anything on it. Pork is smothered in gravy, or if I was eating it, I’ll dip it in an apple glaze.

I remember when they brought out the green ketchup. That was different. It was ketchup. It didn’t taste different. I think I got it once. I mean, you had to. If someone asked about it, you can say with confidence, “Yeah, I tried it!” I did. It was just green. I am shocked that I did try it. I have such a strong passion for ketchup, I fear it being green. It’s not right. It shouldn’t be green. Some things shouldn’t be different colors or shapes. Keep it red. It’s a great color. Unless tomatoes were green, then yeah, okay. I can see ketchup being green. It’ll ruin the flow of the hot dog though. Too much green! So then you’ll need to make the mustard red and color the relish yellow.

It’s tough being me. I can’t enjoy food without there being certain obligations with it.

Sorry about not posting often. I got caught up in other things. I will try to keep posting more frequently.

Till next time,

Kirk