Jeff had never won anything in his life. He tried every contest on the radio and entered all the sweepstakes he saw on television or in the paper. But nothing ever was in his favor. He never won. He was a loser and he knew it. Jeff may be a loser when it comes to winning trips or life time supply of meaningless products, he was talented in one field. Jeff was a great swimmer. He wasn’t fast enough to win race or medal in swim meets but that was okay to him. He really just liked swimming and to him it was just a hobby. He didn’t want it to become a competition where the joy of swimming is lost in the grueling training that comes with overbearing mothers and fathers. Jeff just preferred to keep swimming as a something he liked to do when he had time.
Two men walked into a bank and pulled guns on the unsuspecting customers. The people panicked and tossed their belongings over to the thieves as they demanded people’s wallets, watches, and purses. The security guard was no match. He was only one person and the two bank robbers were much larger than him. He would have lost the fight if he tried anything. A brave bank teller leaned over and sounded the alarm. The thieves heard sirens blaring in the distance and made a break for it before the place became infested with police and camera crews.
There once was this really noisy cat living in a perfect, quiet kingdom. The cat would hiss and make all sorts of noises every hour of every day. One day, after hours of hissing and meowing and purring, a witch told the cat that one more sound and he’ll be cursed and never allowed to speak again. The cat laughed and took it as a bluff. He looked at the witch and cleared his throat. He hissed loudly and ran off. But before he got away, the witch cursed the cat.
I know I am a very funny guy. I also know that I am funnier than the untalented stand up comic(?), Dane Cook. Wow, just like that. I throw it right out there. I would have babbled on some before getting to the point at hand but something of this nature needs to be addressed quickly. I dislike this guy. I really do. I do not see what others do and what appeal he has on the general public. Sure he can tell a knock knock joke and steal a situational comedic joke like Carlos Mencia but telling me how fat my mom is or what other hilarious and untrue circumstances he’s been in doesn’t qualify him as a comedian. Being funny does. That sir is one thing you don’t have. I’ve been to funerals that were more entertaining than you and the sad thing is, the guest of honor was funnier than you – even with them being in a coffin.
Sure Lehrer did an okay job for being stuck between two bickering fools. But maybe they should rethink who should moderate the next presidential debate. Even the moderator, Raddatz had her issues but she controlled those pair of fools better than anyone. There was no malarkey going on with Biden and Ryan. She took charge and moderated that debate with an iron fist. But who wants that? Who wants control and order? Let’s kick it up a notch and put someone else in charge of the next debate. I have someone in mind. What you think?