01/2/12
Cryptkeeper

The Cryptkeeper Is To Blame

I have been puzzled with something for a while now. I don’t smoke inside cause it just stinks up the place. FYI…smoking is on my list of things to quit. We’ll see how well that goes. Quitting would benefit me but for the culprit behind the ongoing theft will be pretty angry. Since I smoke outside, I keep a tiny ashtray on my porch. It’s really a flower pot but beggers can’t be choosers. Whatever. It works. I would smoke and throw the butt into the pot. I began to notice something off. I would have a few butts in the pot. It could be the next morning or it could be hours later. The butts in the pot were beginning to disappear. Honestly. That’s eff’ed up. Where the hell were they going? Was it maybe a bird swooping in and claiming my old butts as his? Was he using them to build a nest for his baby birds? It’s possible. Maybe it’s the family of cats that live under the stairs. They are growing in numbers and sooner or later, we’ll be taken over by the feline infestation.

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12/10/11
Devil-icon

The Anti-Christ Is Coming

I have warned people about this. I have explained many times before about the evil that seems to find me. This place, this quiet suburban area I live in, is nothing more than a watering hole for the devil and his chums. From the dead zombie wife living in my walls, to the witch, and even the ghost of Carlos, the demon gathering is growing. It’s not just growing in my hood, it’s also growing inside the stomach of the witch. Yes, folks. The witch is with child and if American Horror Story has taught me anything, Spock is a gay guy who likes Halloween and ghost can knock up bitchy moms.

People have spoken about the anti-christ for sometime now. Some believe he is already here. Some think it’s Obama. While I doubt it’s him, you wonder. Pastor Shepard thinks it’s him. If you don’t believe me, watch the video below. He knows all and he’s  building a Jesus Plane to save us…or at least those that contribute to its assembly. Other theories revolve around a small town in Kansas. Stull, Kansas is a place the pope himself won’t even fly over. It is said to be one of the gateways to Hell. There is a graveyard with a church (which has been burned down) with steps that lead nowhere. Freaky, huh? In the graveyard, a witch fornicated with the devil. His seed was planted and she gave birth to the anti-christ. if that is true, he is already here. He is already walking among us.

 

Obama is the Anti-Christ

 I don’t believe either of those crazy ideas. My idea is sane. My idea has logic. I have stories and fact to back it all up and prove to you once and for all, the anti-christ is coming. He has yet to be born but when he is, you can be sure that the little guy is coming out with a pitchfork and a secret crush on Suddam Hussein. Let’s go back some to the beginning. Let’s talk a little more about the witch. The witch entered my world a few years ago. She led me to believe she was okay. I extended my hand and welcomed her with a firm handshake  fist bump. As time went on, her accurate know how of Virgo’s and how typical we are, were spot on. She knew me better than I knew myself. Her moving into my neighborhood was her plan all along. She just had to get a little push from the devil. I am sure those two were in cahoots before she moved in. He’s out to get me. She’s out to get me. Now, he knocked her up. Folks, get ready to meet the Anti-Christ.

Nom…nom…nom.

The witch is now with child. The devil can take many forms. He can look like Al Pacino or he can look like a lanky kid who has a thing for witches. How else would this gal get a man in her life? I don’t see any angels or everyday normal guys lining up at her door to sweep her off her feet? (and yes, I said sweep. It’s a witch joke. Cause witches ride brooms, people sweep with brooms.) How many? I’ll tell you. None. No sane person would do that. No god loving Christian would ask for her hand or dip himself inside her deep, dark crevice. Not even a T-Rex mormon would share with her the good word and get her to stop before she even started.

I am aware the witch lives with another person. It’s a male. That alone will make anyone think that she is living with the devil. Maybe she put a spell on the devil and is coaxing him to carrying out the plan for Armageddon. There are plenty of theories. Was it his idea to knock up the witch or did she put a spell on the devil himself to get him to plant his fertile, evil seed inside her? Let’s say that it was his idea. Being his idea, he had to get near her. How else would he do this but trick her into believing someone besides an honorable herm would actually want to do an act that is unholy to say the least.  Are you picking up what I’m laying down? If the roommate is the devil, then the devil lives in my hood. His plan works. He knocks her up and the sad, little witch is a pawn in his game to tear down and ruin the world that God himself made for us. The devil is a tricky son of a bitch.

We can go the other route. We can say that the witch planned the whole thing. She already dabbles in the occult. Her powers from Tarot cards and magic 8 balls, gave her pinpoint accuracy of who the devil is. She finds out what disguise he has on and pressures him into falling in love. When that didn’t work, she did some voodoo and cursed him. She wanted the devil to impregnate her. The witch knows this guy is the devil. She may not be the brightest crayon in the box but I have a sneaky suspicion she chose this lanky fellow for the sole purpose of ending the world. She has some beef with the world and a beef with me, that moving in to my neighborhood was step one of bringing the world to its’ knees. To be the one who is carrying the Anti-Christ is big news. Big enough to totally FB status it. After moving in and getting the seed planted, she can move to step two. Step two is putting an end to me. She’ll torment me. She’ll send the ghosts, the zombies, and the army of cats to drive me and others like me, away from this place. We’re here to protect this place. We are the only form of defense in putting an end to her plan to bring mankind to an end. She wants the world to end. Being the wife of the devil and the mother of the Anti-Christ is all that she wants. She wants me gone and this is a big problem.

All the problems I have with the other demons is nothing compared to what will eventually become the beginning of the end. Now I have to worry about the devil poisoning my neighborhood with his evil doings. They must be planning something. Why else would there be ghosts, zombies, and witches living here? I am sure they are prepping for Armageddon. Will the world end in 2012? Doubt that. The child needs time to establish himself. Give it 20 to thirty years before he gets us all to hold hands and sing Kumbayah.

Kumbaya – Pete Seeger [10/24] [1963]

 That would be nice but when then happens, we’ll all be ready to watch the world crumble and the Earth will finally come to an end. Will anyone survive? Survive or not survive, it doesn’t matter one bit. When the child comes clawing its way out, the world is doomed. Be forewarned, everyone. The wheels are already in motion. She and the devil have teamed up. His seed is festering inside her. The witch is going to be popping out that kid next year. Enjoy what little time you have left. Pick a side. Will you follow God or take the side of a witch? Choose wisely. Don’t make the mistake and throw the wrong person under the bus.

 

 

 

11/2/11
evp

Contacting The Dead

For months, I have blogged about the craziness I endure at my apartment. When I moved in here, I really thought things were going to be fine. I was sure that all the pain and bad memories would finally go away. Not long after I moved in here I noticed strange things. I would hear scratching from inside the walls. You would think that it was maybe a pest problem. Maybe I have rats living in my walls. But those simple and most logical theories were just that. They were theories. Neither one of them turned into anything. For what was clawing away inside my walls isn’t human. At some point in time, it was human. It was just another normal person living their life with each day being something new. Eventually, this person met her doom by the hands of her jealous husband. To get the whole story about Claudia, click here. This will explain it all.

With Claudia came Carlos. He’s the ying to her yang. He too is another specter. This spirit and I have crossed paths before. Friends and family try to say that he isn’t a ghost. That it’s just my imagination. Say what you want but explain to me as to how after being her for over a year, I have yet to ever see this man? I have never seen him. This only comes to the most logical theory. He is a ghost and haunts the apartment. His ghostly body has tormented me before. He doesn’t care for my music and when that day happened, it explains it all. He contacted me and let me know that he is here. While I assumed he only haunted the apartment below me, that day put all that to an end. I knew then that he has been in my apartment before and to this day, makes frequent visits. Life is grand. Zombies, ghosts, and witches. Why am I so blessed?

When it’s Halloween, the line between the living and the dead is open. During this time the spirits can roam frePhoto Of Ghostely and walking among the living. Being the curious person I am, I decided to see if maybe all these stories I talk about are true. Is my apartment really haunted by a ghost? Is there a zombie living in my walls? I had to know how true this was. My curiosity not only surprised me but also put those stories to rest. They weren’t just stories. They are true. My apartment is actually haunted.  I sat on my couch and took some photos. I freaked out! You can try to say that it was probably a friend. The only problem with that is I was alone. No one else was over. I don’t know what it is. I cannot explain it. Could my apartment really be haunted? Was it maybe a reflection of me or maybe  a trick or treater at the door?

I looked at the photo and wondered if maybe I captured Claudia on film? I mean, it has to be her. What else can it be? I don’t recall seeing a trick or treater at my door and besides, I always keep my door shut. This evil zombie creature is now lurking about my apartment. She is no longer held captive in the walls. Hopefully, it’s just for that night. I really hope that once the line between the living and the dead closed, I wouldn’t have to deal with her and her wicked ways anymore. I will still have to deal with her but being Halloween night, the dead are stronger and can do things.

I was pretty scared when I took that photo, I was determined to see if maybe I could actually capture some more. That was a huge mistake. I should have just set the camera down and grabbed myself a priest to cleanse this place. I took more snapshots and waited to see if something else walked into view. Was I able to get Claudia on film once more? Photo Of GhostI guess I did. Once again, with it being Halloween, I was able to see the ghosts that have been tormenting me since I moved in here. How will I be able to sleep here anymore? How can I continue living in this complex when I know that zombies, ghosts, and witches all live here freely? Sooner or later, it’s gonna be all Hell on Earth if we don’t do something quit to put an end to this horror like movie.

The photos were too much. I left my apartment and went to a friend’s house. I didn’t speak of the photos or the other events I tinkered with that night. I looked pale. She mentioned that. I shrugged it off and played it off like nothing was the matter. I wasn’t about to tell her my apartment is  haunted for real. She is a pretty religious person and bringing up the topic of ghosts or possibly a demon, she would force me into moving and heading to the nearest church as fast as I could.

Getting back home, I feared walking inside. I felt a cold chill. Claudia was still creeping about. I know that. With all the craziness from the night and the several photos I took, I knew that if I pushed myself a little further I could capture something more. I dug an old digital tape recorder out from a box and started it up. I walked around the apartment. If I was able to get photos of Claudia, I bet I will be able to get her voice on tape. I was ready to capture my first EVP.

Below are a few clips from my walk through. I cannot make out everything that is said but it is still scary to know that I caught these on tape. Take a listen and see if you can hear what is being said.

The first one I ask, “Is there someone in the house?” I cannot make out what is said. Maybe you can. what do you hear?

EVP 1

The second one I asked “should I leave you alone?” To me, it sounds like it answers, “GET OUT!”

EVP 2

I assume that I am talking to Claudia and the next EVP only assures me that I am right. I ask if they are buried inside my wall and you can clearly hear, “Let me out.”

EVP 3

Lastly, I went a step further to see if the legend of Claudia and Carlos were true. Asking if she was killed, she replies with his name.

EVP 4

While this really makes the hair on my arms stand up, I am still amazed that these actually worked. I always love reading about EVPs. There is even a cemetery not too far from where I live that is haunted and I’ve always wanted to check it out. I would love to captured some more photos and some more EVPs. Hopefully, I will put that on my agenda and make my way to the spooky graveyard.

This was how I spent my Halloween. Instead of boozing it up, I contacted the dead and made a connection. This only pPhoto Of Ghostroves that everything I have told you about my apartment is true. There are ghosts here and they have no desire to leave. They want me out and I hope for my sake, that I finally come to my senses and get the hell out of dodge. If not, they might come get me in my sleep. They already tried once.

After the photos and the EVPs, I decided not to go further and try to capture them on video. I don’t know if I would be able to keep my cool if I saw a pillow or a book float across my room. I know Paranormal Activity is just a movie but if I had to actually live through that and be tormented by a demon named Toby, I would wet myself. I mean how scary is the name Claudia? Just seeing that photo to the left, I don’t see claws. I rather not have my face ripped off during the night.  Oh well. I am safe for now. I want my friends and family to know that I am safe. I will not let these dark spirits of the night run me off. They don’t have a hold on me and they never will. If things ever do get serious, I welcome anyone with ideas of how to rid myself of these things. Don’t worry, I will protect anyone that comes over. Pray for me. I just hope I didn’t open something up that I shouldn’t have. If I did, I am in a world of trouble.

 

 

 

 

10/3/11
karmawitch

The Coven Moves In Town

I have lived in the complex for over a year now. I came here hoping for some sense of security. I was hoping that everything would be okay. Soon after I moved in, I was met with some serious issues. The apartment I live in has some dark history. I wasn’t told about it from the landlords. I did my own research and sleuthing to discover these secrets. I have told the story many times about the Dead Zombie Wife living in my walls. She has been dormant for a while now. That is a plus for me. I don’t know if I would be able to take her evil ways much longer. With Claudia, then came the Ghost of Carlos. Another spirit that resides in what I thought would be a safe and happy environment. Do you see what I am getting at? How can a person possibly live in a place full of ghosts and zombies? Turns out, these two lost souls are not the only things that go bump in the night. Now, I have to deal with a witch.

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05/28/11
ghostman

Carlos Is Back

After months of silence, I have an eerie feeling that the Ghost of Carlos is back. I really thought I was done with him. I made a pact with the devil. The new neighbors came to my rescue. All those things should have saved me from the ongoing torment I get from Carlos. But he is back. He’s returned once more to make my life hell.  I don’t really know if ghost take vacations. If they do, then eff them. They at least do something I don’t. The other day while I was watching television, my phone went crazy. I was getting notifications from an application I use. The app is called, iCam. It is a security camera that will alert me when there is motion. While this could be a very good thing, it can also be something very scary. There have been stories about people catching criminals lurking about their house with this application and many like it.

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