06/6/12

Hollywood Superstar, Shia Labeouf

I got pretty excited when news broke about a possible ‘zombie virus’. I’ve warned people for years about a zombie outbreak and how the world will be destroyed by these creatures. Some non-believers scoff at the idea and try to shrug it off with a silly explanation that “we are the zombies food source. When we’re all gone, they can’t survive.” If we’re all gone then we lost. The zombies have taken over the planet and the human race is no more. But that doesn’t mean they’ll die. They are already dead. They can’t die just from not eating.  But other people can die from not eating. That’s the group we need to worry about. They may not take over the world like zombies can. A few handful of people may die and that would the end of it. Sure, the end of the human race is inevitable. It’ll happen. But not from zombies. At least not at first. It won’t be from the mysterious, planet X. Even Obama won’t be the end, even though he’s trying really hard. Folks, there is another reason the world is going to end. It’s happening now. It’s anarchy and this current craze is catching on. All the cool kids are doing it. This is the beginning. It all starts somewhere.

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06/5/12

My Coworker Is An Alien

Tin Foil HatVery long ago, I mentioned how I think too much. How I think into things. Call it a gift or call it a curse. You can call it whatever you want. I don’t care. I do go overboard when I think about certain happenings. I will stretch it and look for anything to make some sense out of what I am dealing with. At the moment, I am dealing with a lot. It is giving me a constant headache and ulcers. I don’t want to be right but after what happened, things are beginning to add up. We never suspected a thing but now, we do. Now, we know what is going on. I am going to get the word out.

What am I about to tell you is mind-blowing. I for one shouldn’t be talking about it. Who knows who is listening. I better put my foil hat on. I don’t want ‘them’ listening. They might punish me. They don’t want you to know their plan of impregnating all the woman of the world.  Yeah, it’ll happen. They’re here and they’ve been here longer than you think. You lost? Let me explain.

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09/20/10

The Aliens Are Coming.

I am firm believer in the existence of life in outer space. Have I ever seen a UFO? No, I haven’t. But just cause I haven’t seen one, doesn’t mean I can’t believe. There are plenty of things in our world that cannot and will not ever be explained. A few years ago, a friend of mine called me moments after he claimed he saw something in the sky. Even with my belief in the alien beings, I was skeptical about what he said he saw. Was he telling the truth? Possibly. I never thought that they would come visit Kansas City. Honestly, even those living on Earth don’t make yearly visits to our Midwestern city. But at the time he called me, these beings were right in my backyard. They were just miles from where I live. Why are these aliens visiting us? Why are they buzzing around our great planet? What do we have to offer them? They are obviously smarter than us. We can’t colonize the moon and we can’t make a spacecraft that can explore the far reaches of space. They have the technology. If they ever wanted to, I bet they can wipe us out in minutes. Or, they can enslave the human race and make us be at the beck and call. I’d rather just have them blow up the earth. Being captured by space creatures doesn’t settle to well with me.

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