11/20/12

The Twinkie Tribulation of 2012

When the news broke about Hostess closing down shop for good, people went nuts. They completely lost it and took that event as the end of the world. Will the world end because Hostess is gone and you can no longer enjoy the sweet, sugary goodness of the Twinkie? No. I already explained that it will be zombies. Just because you can’t get a Twinkie anymore doesn’t mean the world is going to end. It’ll be devastating to the survivors in the zombie apocalypse but it won’t destroy the world. Besides, I bet you are overreacting to the whole thing. I bet you are just jumping on the band wagon because other people are treating this like it’s something life threatening.  I bet you don’t even care about Hostess.

Calm down. It’s a f**king Twinkie. You’ll be fine.

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10/20/12

Recipe: Peanut Butter Fluff

I am going to share a fantastic dessert that will be a huge hit with everyone at the party. It is very easy to make and only needs 5 items. I don’t know if this dessert is floating about anywhere else on the web but I like to claim it as my own. I made it one day at work. I have never made it at home before but did and it came out nicely. I hope you enjoy it. If you love peanut butter like I do then I know you will.

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08/4/12

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears!?

I am a pretty laid back guy. I don’t freak out over little things or go all Columbine when I don’t get my way. But there are some things in life that push me over the edge. Some things need to get fixed before the world comes crashing down and we’re all sent back to the dark ages. This is a huge problem. I am one of the millions of people affected by it. I know others have complained but it seems people have turned a deaf ear to our cries and pleas for some order to this chaos they call “business”.

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01/6/12

Cooking For One

It may come to a shock to those that don’t know me but I am single. I know, right? An old chap like me is still sitting at home, twiddling his thumbs looking for escorts singles in my area. I am cool with it. I have no desire to breed or get married. Getting a girlfriend leads to issues about money, how fat she really is, and the annoying question of ‘is she prettier than me‘. Don’t say anything. Even if the gal is hotter, keep you’re mouth closed. Cause once you do, you’ll never get a word in the rest of the night. That my friends. That is why I am single. Plus, do you think a woman will follow my simple rules to being my wife?

Set of Rules 1

Set of Rules 2

So I am a bachelor. I live alone. Living alone has many advantages. I can be messy and have no roommate of female to question it. If I leave a plate in the sink, I’ll get to it when I want to get to it. I am not going to wash it cause you have company coming over. The bed is never mad. The TV is always available for me and never do I have to sit through a crappy show like “Grey’s Anatomy“.  There are endless benefits to being a single guy. But there is always another side. Where there’s a ying, there is a yang. Folks, here is the biggest issue when you live alone.

Food.

Oh, how I love food. I do. I will eat it up. My blog was going to be all about food but I moved away from that and just talk about whatever comes to mind. I did keep track of what I ate for the year of 2010. I am going to do it again this year. I will log all the food I eat and everything I drink. If you look at it, you’ll notice that I rarely ate at home. It’s just a hard thing to do. It’s hard to cook for one person. You always have left overs. If I feel like it, I will stuff my face full of food and eat every last bit of what I cooked. No worries. I don’t gain weight. I can eat whatever I want. It’s a gift and a curse.  Tonight I made some beef and noodles. It was delicious. You can’t measure servings for one person. I made enough for 4. I ate half. I still have some in the fridge. I’ll eat it tomorrow.

This is the issue I have. This is what I deal with. It was a good meal. I just don’t like having leftovers. I have a weird thing against it. I will eat it. I just prefer food to be hot. To be fresh. To be as fresh as it can be. I rarely have leftover cause I rarely have food in my fridge. I have beer. I have soda. I may have butter and eggs. I got the essentials. I just can’t open my fridge and grab something out to make for dinner. I grab fast food more than anything. I should eat healthier but I probably won’t. My health and eating habits is not what I am talking about here. I just want to let couples and families know that while you struggle with family life, we (the bachelors) have to struggle with making a meal for one. We will never get it down. We’ll always be stuck with a bowl of leftovers in our fridge. If there were only a way to fix this.

11/25/11

Recipe: Peanut Butter & Jam Bars

I would like to share with you a recipe my mother found many, many years ago. If you’re a fan of anything made with peanut butter, then you will love these tasty treats. They are simple to make. Believe me. If I can make them, anyone can. Give it a shot. Your family and friends will be begging you for the recipe.

 

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup of granulated sugar
  • 1/2 cup of packed brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of shortening
  • 1/2 cup of peanut butter
  • 1 egg
  • 1 1/4 cup of all-purpose flour*
  • 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 cup red raspberry jam**
  • Glaze (below)
Heat oven to 350°. Mix sugars, shortening, peanut butter, and egg. Stir in flour, baking powder and baking soda. Reserve one cup of dough. Press remaining dough into an ungreased rectangular pan, 13x9x12 inches; spread with jam. Crumble reserved dough and sprinkle over jam. Bake until golden brown, about 20 minutes. Cool; Drizzle with glaze. Cut into bars, about 2×1 1/2 inches. Will make 3 dozen cookies.
Glaze:
  • 2 tablespoons margarine or butter
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 to 2 tablespoons hot water
Heat margarine in 1-quart sauce pan over low hear until melted. Mix in powdered sugar and vanilla. Beat in hot water, 1 teaspoon at a time, until smooth and of desired consistency. 
*If using self-rising flour, omit baking soda and baking powder.
**You’re welcome to use a different jam but I prefer the taste of raspberry. 
Note: Unbleached flour can be used in this recipe.
High Altitude Directions (3500 to 6500 feet): For all-purpose flour, no adjustments are necessary. For self-rising flour, bake about 20 minutes.
I hope you enjoy these bars. My mom makes them all the time. I don’t know where she found the recipe but I am glad she did. They hit the spot. Try them out and let me know what you think of them!
Finished product should look like this.