The Worst Smells Imaginable

There are certain smells that I just do not like. We all find things repulsive. I am not talking about normal things, like rotting food or sewage. I am speaking of the normal things that others find okay and aren’t turned off by them. I want to talk to you about some certain smells that get me ill, things that make me quickly cover my nose and run away like it’s toxic fumes. These are smells that will make me gag and turn my nose to its’ pungent smell. They are just horrible. Maybe you’re okay with them but I am not. I’d rather smell the residue in a gas station bathroom left behind by some frat boy’s ruined anus after a long night of drinking and taco bell than smell the things I am about to list. Wallowing in your farts is bliss compared to the aroma of these following things…

I have to admit something before I go about writing this blog. I started this thing weeks ago. I just never really got to wiring it till now. I had a list of things I wanted to talk about. I want to talk about the smells I don’t like but I cannot think of many of them. I can really only think of one smell I dislike. I guess it is because I was just around it the other day and I gagged and covered my nose when this foul smell crept inside my nose. 

I love the smell of cinnamon. I like how burning leaves smell and the smell of meat smoking. I like cilantro. Fresh Basil is amazing. I like many smells but I cannot stand the smell of energy drinks, mainly Red Bull. I want to vomit when I smell it. I am not lying when I say I gag and cover my nose when it comes near me. People at work drink it and others drink Monster or Venom. I use to like Venom. I once drank a pot of coffee and 2 cans of Venom, in a single day. My heart was going to explode. I could have died that night. I liked Venom. I drank it often but when I had a bad night with Red Bull, that was that night that ruined energy drinks for me. Red Bull  is the worst smell I can think of. It is right up there with bananas and anything fish related. I fucking hate bananas!

Red Bull is a giant sweetart in liquid form. I tried Red Bull a long time ago. I wasn’t a fan. It did nothing for me. Even back then, before my bad experience with Red Bull I didn’t like the smell. I always felt disgusted when I took a whiff. I tried it and it just wasn’t for me. I like coffee and I like soda. But I don’t know what it is with Red Bull but the smell of it is the worst. I just cannot stand it. I am sure it is because of that horrible night at the bar, the night I drank Red Bull and Jagermeister for the last time.

I went to the bar with my boss one night. I don’t know much of what we drank. I am sure we had beer and shots. I know we did shots because that was the first time I did Jagermeister. It was the first time I had it mixed with Red Bull. It was also the last time. I don’t recall the taste. I cannot tell you if I liked it or hated it. Being that I don’t drink it anymore, I am guessing I just didn’t like it. 

I remember leaving the bar. I was a bit drunk. I had a few too many. Okay, I had way too many. I was a wreck. My boss and I were leaving. He was going to give me a lift home. I was in no condition to drive. So there I was, a 25/26 year old guy stumbling out of the bar. Who do I bump into as I am leaving? The vice principal for my high school. I said hello or what probably sounded like hello. He tells me, “Mr. So and So…go home.” I lowered my head. I was back in high school again. I said, “okay” and left…

I’ve been out of high school for years and I was back in school the moment he saw me and told me to go home. That was the night I stopped drinking Jagermeister and the night I swore off Red Bull. It may have been a mixture of the Jager, the shitty feeling the next morning, and the run in with my old vice principal. Whatever it was, I dislike Red Bull to this day. The smell is terrible. I legit gag. I cover my nose. I want to vomit whenever I come across the smell. 

I know other energy drinks make me gag and want to run away from getting another whiff. It is just red bull that I am going to make an example of because it seems to be the only energy drink that people tend to go far. You can drink that awful drink, fine. I can’t judge you. I mean, I did drink a Cream Corn Taco Shake. We all have our faults.


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I wish I was able to tell you about all the other smells that bother me. There are many smells but really, I blame red bull for being the worst smell I have ever came across. That shit is f**king gross and the smell is nasty…but you don’t have to take my word for it.


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I like food. I like the smell of cinnamon.

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