There is always two sides to every story. You can have a massive fight with someone or maybe you get in a car accident. No matter the case or the reasoning behind the altercation, you and other party will each have your own story to tell. You’ll be the victim in your story and in their story, you’ll be the bad guy. Chances are, you’re doing the exact same thing and making them out to be the Big Bad.
I don’t have kids. I am already dead set that I will never populate the Earth with any offspring. The discussion of why I won’t get married or have a litter of little Kirk’s running around isn’t important. I am sure I have talked at great lengths about why I won’t. I brought up the topic of kids because it serves a point to the topic I am about to discuss. Even if you don’t have kids, you can still make your point. You don’t even have to resort to using children in your plan to make a point, even if the point is unimportant and a pathetic attempt and trying to come off as superior than others. If you want to make a point about something, I suggest you don’t do anything stupid.
I come from a large family and we always question who our mom loves the most. We’ll give her awful and bizarre circumstances that put two of us at the hands of her. She’ll have to save one and let the other perish, sort of like the ending to The Good Son, which is the second greatest Culkin movie other. If you don’t know the scene I am talking about, watch the ending to the movie and see which son she saves.
That is a huge weight to put on the shoulders of your mother. If my mother had to choose, I would hope she wouldn’t let me go. I mean, I am a pretty amazing kid. I have a vast database of corny jokes which are amaizing. Who else will she get to work on the crossword puzzle? No one. That’s right. Without me, she’ll never solve 21 across. But if my mother ever gets to the point of not wanting me as a son anymore I have a fall back plan. I have another person who will take me in and claim me as her own. This woman will be my new mom if the mother I have now decides to drop me like I dropped smoking and moved on like I was nothing but a passing phase, like the Harlem Shake.
Looks like it happened again. A dream I had today. I had to quickly write it down. Below is the dream. Enjoy.
I like food. I really like food. I just can’t eat everything there is. My mother likes to claim that my older brother is a garbage disposal and will dump anything into his mouth, no matter how awful it may be. I on the other hand cannot eat everything that people put in front of me. I have my limits. I have standards as to what I will eat. I am a picky eater and I am not ashamed to admit it. I love food. I eat a lot and will eat till the cows come home. When those said cows do come home, I will grind those bovines up and will create a burgers that isjuicy and dripping with grease. Trust me, I like food. I love food. I like Mexican food. I like Chinese food. I like BBQ and above all else, I like Italian food more than anything. Nothing is better than lasagna. Everyone loves lasagna.