04/23/13

She’s looking to replace her son

The Good SonI come from a large family and we always question who our mom loves the most. We’ll give her awful and bizarre circumstances that put two of us at the hands of her. She’ll have to save one and let the other perish, sort of like the ending to¬†The Good Son, which is the second greatest Culkin movie other. If you don’t know the scene I am talking about, watch the ending to the movie and see which son she saves.

That is a huge weight to put on the shoulders of your mother. If my mother had to choose, I would hope she wouldn’t let me go. I mean, I am a pretty amazing kid. I have a vast database of corny jokes which are amaizing. Who else will she get to work on the crossword puzzle? No one. That’s right. Without me, she’ll never solve 21 across. But if my mother ever gets to the point of not wanting me as a son anymore I have a fall back plan. I have another person who will take me in and claim me as her own. This woman will be my new mom if the mother I have now decides to drop me like I dropped smoking and moved on like I was nothing but a passing phase, like the Harlem Shake.

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