03/27/12
helpfultips

Tips For Dating

I am the master in the field of dating. Ask anyone and they will tell you that I am the person men come to see if they have a question on how to date women. You may be asking yourself, I thought you aren’t getting married?┬áThat is true. I won’t get married. I don’t have time to deal with women and all of their nagging. I am not the expert in the marriage area of the female species. I don’t know jack about it. I’ve written the rules (here and here) for marriage and I am not even married. Now I think I need to dive into the rules to dating. Here are some quick tips to dating women.

 

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02/29/12
reynolds

Playing The Field

I do my best to never gawk and stare at the ladies that lurk about in the store. It’s eye candy at times. I see some hot soccer moms and I see some pretty hot, single ladies that (and I might be mistaken) beg me to put a ring on it, oh oh oh…

I learned my lesson before. Had a woman catch me staring right at her. It was many years ago so any charges that were filed against me have been dropped. I wasn’t even the only peeping tom checking out the hottie in aisle one. They all parted and ran off before her eyes caught any glimpse of us men with our jaws open and droll rolling down the side of our mouths. She caught me and only me. She caught me with my eyes fixated on the two giant melons just busting from the top she was donning.

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