July Stats – Part II: Food

After covering what I drank last month, you’re probably overly excited to see what I ate last month. I know. I would be too. It’s thrilling to see what I ate. I will say this. After months of promising myself to buy groceries, I finally did. There was a reason. I am on vacation. Or I was this week. I didn’t want to leave the house. So I had to stock up on food. It’s nice having food. It’s nice knowing that I don’t have to go to McDonald’s or Burger King just to stop the cravings. Then again, the human body can last 4 to 6 weeks without eating. After that, you might look at the person next to you and wonder, “Do people taste like chicken or pork?”

Grab a snack. I’ll wait.

You got one? Good. Let’s start.


  • I still enjoy a nice bagel in the morning. I don’t bother heating it up or adding cream cheese bagel sauce to it. I just eat it plain. I like bagel sauce. I prefer spreading butter and jam on it. I just eat it plain. If I am at home, then yes. I will add the butter, jam, or bagel sauce to it. Last month I had 10 bagels.
    • 9 of those bagels were blueberry. By far, my favorite bagel. I just love blueberries.
    • 1 bagel was an cinnamon raisin bagel. It would have been a blueberry but the morning bakers didn’t have any ready. It was still good. I like cinnamon. Honestly, the smell of cinnamon is joy to me.
  • Since I switched to bagels, I don’t eat many donuts at work anymore. I still love donuts. I miss Dunkin’ Donuts. There is a store I can go to but traveling 30 minutes for a donut is lame. They have the best strawberry donuts. I had a total of 7 donuts. One more than last month. Of those seven donuts,
    • 1 was from work. It was a maple long john.
    • 6 were from the local gas station, Quick-Trip. They were,
      • 3 maple long johns.
      • 3 chocolate long johns.
  • I made 4 trips to Bob Evans in the month of July. It’s tradition! I stick to the same meal. My mother does too. I stick with the Farmer’s Choice. The meal includes, eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes. Together, I had…
    • 8 eggs over easy.
    • 12 pieces of bacon.
    • 8 pancakes with syrup. No butter. I hate butter on my pancakes.
    • 4 orders of white toast.
  • Last month I had 5 yogurts. This month, I only had a total of 1.
    • It was a Blueberry yogurt with granola.

Lunch (work meals):

It seems it is becoming an issue for me trying to find meals at work. You work at a place for 16 years, you are bound to run into the same issue. I bet people at McDonald’s and such have the same issue. I would hate to work at place like that. Having to eat that food day in and day out. At least where I work, I have many choices. It’s just getting harder to decide. I should try and make it a weekly thing. You know, make each day of the week a certain meal. Like every Sunday, I get the Beef Lo Mein (thank you, John! It’s always amazing!). Who knows. It will only leave me with 7 different meals. But I can always bend the rules.

  • 8 of my meals at work were the ever popular, Medium Spicy Beef Lo Mein (no vegetables, no oyster sauce)
    • I enjoyed a nice piece of New York Style Cheesecake with this 3 times.
  • I had 4 different wraps on break. Wraps have become a staple now. If we can, we are wanting to make a special menu with wraps and burgers to offer people for lunch. Make them signature items only found at our store. Of these 4 wraps,
    • 3 were BLT wraps. One of my favorite wraps.
      • 1 side of baked beans.
      • 1 side of macaroni and cheese.
      • 1 side of tortellini pasta.
      • 1 yeast roll.
    • 1 grilled chicken wrap. Not as good as the BLT but still good. Of course it’s good. I made it. No side with this wrap. *sad panda*
  • I had a whopping total of 6 pulled pork sandwiches.
    • 4 were smaller sandwiches.
    • 2 were larger sandwiches with sides.
      • 2 side of baked beans.
      • 2 side of macaroni and cheese.
      • 2 yeast roll.
      • 1 slice of Dorthy’s strawberry cheesecake (I love that woman.)
  • 1 Burnt End Sandwich. I didn’t want this. I don’t like Burnt Ends. But they mixed up handing the sandwiches to us. When I took a bit (without looking), I noticed their error. Eff you, Jake ate the Fat Man. You ruined my lunch.
  • 2 BBQ Brisket Sandwiches. I do love BBQ. Far too much. Damn, that sheet is good!
    • 2 sides of macaroni and cheese.
    • 1 side of baked beans.
    • 1 yeast roll.
    • 1 piece of white cake with frosting.
  • 1/2 of a Grilled Club. I got busy at work and didn’t get the time to enjoy it all.
  • 1 Bacon Cheeseburger (lettuce, tomato, cheese, bacon, ketchup…)
    • 1 order of tator tots on the side.
  • 2 Foot Long Beef Hot Dog.
  • 1 Angus Beef Hamburger


I visited the pizza joint called ‘Pizza Street’. Went there with my sister. When there, I had…

  • 1 visit to Pizza Street.
    • 1 slice of Pineapple Ham Pizza.
    • 1 slice of Alfredo Pizza.
    • 2 slices of Baked Potato Pizza.
    • 2 slices of Pepperoni Pizza.
  • 1 foot long cold cut combo.
  • 1 6 inch cold cut combo. (would have been a foot long, but couldn’t finish it for some reason.)
  • 1 visit to Philly Time.
    • 1 Deluxe Philly Steak.
    • 1 Philly Time Chocolate Chip Cookie.
    • 1 side of Philly Time Onion Rings.
  • 3 McDonald’s 20 piece chicken nuggets
    • 6 sweet and sour sauces.
    • 6 BBQ sauces.


  • 1 visit to Ming Garden.
    • General Tso Chicken and steamed rice.
  • 2 large Papa John’s Cheese Pizza (12 slices total)
    • 7 hot slices
    • 5 nuked slices
  • 11 Papa John’s Cinnamon Sticks
  • 1 Tostino’s Cheese Pizza (BURNT!!)
    • I finally got the oven fixed!
  • 1 Tupperware of Fettuccine Chicken Pasta made by my friend. (thanks, babe!)
  • 2 Slices of Minsky’s Taco Pizza

DISCLAIMER: I am really not too sure what I had for lunch and what I had for dinner. I tried to keep track of it by marking what I had for lunch and what was for dinner. But I slip. I try to judge. Usually, I skip lunch. I am just too lazy to leave the house. By the time I do, It’s about 5 or 6. I like food. I do. Just lazy.

Drinking Snacks:

  • 1 Butterfinger Bar. Was at the bowling alley. I like to make note that I cannot play. I think I scored a 50. Maybe 60. I don’t know. I can’t bowl and my co-worker Adam can’t dance.
  • 1 8 piece mozzarella stick basket at 54 Street.


  • 1 Snickers Bar.
  • 12 Cookies.
    • 2 Jumbo Monster Cookies.
    • 4 Jumbo Chocolate Chip Cookies.
    • 4 Small Chocolate Chip Cookies.
    • 2 Small M&M Cookies.
  • 1 Strawberry Strudel
  • 1 Box of Hot Tamales (went to see, Dinner For Schmucks)
  • 2 Single Off Brand Peanut Butter Cups (mini)
  • 1 Yeast Roll.
  • 4 Tator Tots

Taste Testing:

  • 1/3 size Pancake on a stick (with sausage link inside)
  • 1 piece of Polish Sausage


  • 18 Valerian Pills
    • Don’t think I am dying anymore. I just take them cause.

May Stats – Part II: Food

It’s that time again. I am here to share with you all the amazing unhealthy things I ate last month. I will say that I am lacking on preparing a home cooked meal. There are many factors. I really have no time. Okay, I do. I just am lazy when I get home. I cook food for about 1800 kids (now, only 1100) every morning. No one wants to spend all day cooking at work, get home and cook more. It’s unheard of. Plus, it’s hard to cook for just one person. I tend to make too much food and rather than saving it for leftovers, I over indulge myself, licking the plate clean. Gluttony at its best.

My fridge is barren. It does have the essentials all good bachelors need. I have my ketchup and miracle whip bottle. I have the pizza box (with one slice still lingering inside), the soda, the beer, and block of processed cheese. I live the good life. It would be a crime if I ever decided to get married and have kids. We’ll stave. But if my wife is a homebody, then she can do the cooking and we’ll probably have food with names I cannot pronounce and textures not seen by many.

Looking back at the year and everything I have ate, it’s basically the same shit over and over again. I said I hate change. When I find something I like, I stick with it. No need to go and be adventurous. It’s too much of a hassle and I am not a “on a whim” kind of guy. Not saying I don’t do things on a whim. I do. Just not very often. But you’re probably asking yourself right now, “so, Kirk. What did you eat last month? All your readers are dying to know. Please! Please, tell us!”

No need to twist my arm. Here is the list. Enjoy.


  • 2 Farmer’s Choice Breakfast
    • 4 eggs over easy
    • 4 pancakes
    • 6 pieces of bacon
    • 2 orders of toast
      • 1 white
      • 1 wheat (this was during my “be healthy” era. Did it taste different? No. But I prefer white.)
  • 1 Bowl of Oatmeal
    • (brown sugar, butter)
  • 12 Bagels
    • 10 blueberry bagels
    • 2 cinnamon raisin bagels
  • 12 Yogurts
    • 3 Strawberry
      • 2 with granola
      • 1 without granola
    • 2 Raspberry with granola
    • 7 Blueberry

      • 6 with granola
      • 1 without granola
  • 11 Donuts
    • 8 maple cinnamon rolls
    • 1 maple iced raised donut with chocolate drizzle
    • 2 Quicktrip long johns
      • 1 maple
      • 1 chocolate
  • 3 Jumbo Blueberry Muffins

Lunch (work meals):

  • 9 Medium Spicy Beef Lo Mein
    • no vegetables, no oyster sauce
  • 2 Grilled Chicken Breast Sandwiches
    • lettuce, tomato, mayo
      • 2 Rotini Pastas
  • 2 Pasta Bakes
    • 1 corn
    • 1 mashed potatoes with beef gravy
    • 1 rotini pasta
    • 1 slice of wheat bread
    • 1 bread stick
  • 1 Chicken Enchilada
    • side of mexican corn
    • side of spanish rice
  • 3 Pulled Pork Sandwiches
    • 2 small, 1 large
      • 1 side of baked beans
      • 1 side of mashed potatoes with beef gravy
      • 1 piece of cornbread
  • 1 Beef Tip Sandwich (with BBQ Sauce)
    • 1 side of baked beans
    • 1 side of macaroni and cheese
    • 1 piece of cornbread
    • 1 oatmeal raisin cookie
  • 1 Grilled Club Sandwich (with 3 miracle whips)
    • 1 bag of fun size fritos
  • 2 Hot Turkey Sandwiches With Beef Gravy
    • 1 on white bread/1 on wheat bread
      • 4 scoops of Mashed Potatoes
  • 1 Bacon Cheeseburger
    • lettuce, tomato, ketchup)
    • 1 side of tator tots
  • 2 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches


  • 1 Philly Time Deluxe Philly Steak
    • 1 side of onion rings
    • 1 chocolate chip cookie
  • 1 Burger King Whopper
    • 1 side of onion rings
  • 7 Peanut Butter and Raspberry Sandwiches
  • 1 Hy-vee Club Foot Long on Wheat
    • 4 miracle whips
  • 1 Subway Cold Cut Combo
    • 1 on white bread
    • 3 oatmeal raisin cookies
  • 1 Visit to Pizza Street
    • 2 slices of baked potato pizza
    • 2 slices of bacon pineapple pizza
    • 2 slices of pepperoni pizza
    • 1 slice of taco pizza
    • 2 slices of cheese pizza
    • 1 pizza street cinnamon roll


  • 3 Twenty Piece McDonald’s Nuggets
    • 6 BBQ,
    • 6 Sweet and Sour Sauces
  • 2 Chicken Ramen Noodle Soups
  • 1 Ming Garden General Chicken (ate half)
    • 1 side of steamed rice
  • 1 Plate of egg noodles
  • 2 Popeye’s 3 piece dinners (3 legs, 3 thighs)
    • 2 sides of mashed potatoes with gravy
    • 2 biscuits
  • 2 Subway Cold Cut Combos
    • 1 on white
    • 1 on wheat (forgot the tomatoes
    • 2 M&M chocolate chip cookies
    • 3 oatmeal raisin cookies
  • 14 Papa Johns Pizza
    • 8 hot slices of cheese pizza
    • 3 cold slices of cheese pizza
    • 3 nuked slices of cheese pizza
    • 10 pieces of cinnamon sticks

Drinking Snacks:

  • 2 handfuls of Lime Chips
  • 1 Tostinos Cheese Pizza

Bar Meals:

  • 1 Order of Mozzarella Sticks
    • 8 count
  • 2 Orders of Quesadillas
    • (6 count) 12 total


  • 2 Granola Bars
    • 1 Fudge Bar
    • 1 Honey and Oats
  • 1 Hy-vee Ice Cream Bar
  • 7 Cookies
    • 1 oatmeal raisin cookie
    • 2 M&M cookies
    • 3 Chocolate Chip Cookies
    • 1 Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie
  • 2 Caramello Candy Bars
  • 3 Mini Blueberry Muffins
  • 1 Bag of Sour Patch Kids
  • 1 Scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream
    • topped with mini m&ms and chocolate syrup
  • 4 mini cinnamon rolls

Test Tasting:

  • 1 Chicken Taquito
  • 1 sample of crisp topping
    • flour, butter, brown sugar, oatmeal, cinnamon
  • 3 Samples of Taco Salad
    • 1 mixed with black bean salsa
    • 2 without the black bean salsa
  • 1 Strip of grilled Porkloin


  • 34 Valerian Pills
    • to cure my attacks

There is the stats for the month of May. I say it about everytime I finish with the stats but I really do need to learn to eat better. I can’t say I try cause I don’t. But you never know. Maybe after this month, I will. I am planning on doing a half way point tally of what I have ate the entire year so far. I don’t know if it will be done but it’s an idea I have. That will take some time. Just keep watching the site. You never know. It might show up.