It’s that time again. I am here to share with you all the amazing unhealthy things I ate last month. I will say that I am lacking on preparing a home cooked meal. There are many factors. I really have no time. Okay, I do. I just am lazy when I get home. I cook food for about 1800 kids (now, only 1100) every morning. No one wants to spend all day cooking at work, get home and cook more. It’s unheard of. Plus, it’s hard to cook for just one person. I tend to make too much food and rather than saving it for leftovers, I over indulge myself, licking the plate clean. Gluttony at its best.

My fridge is barren. It does have the essentials all good bachelors need. I have my ketchup and miracle whip bottle. I have the pizza box (with one slice still lingering inside), the soda, the beer, and block of processed cheese. I live the good life. It would be a crime if I ever decided to get married and have kids. We’ll stave. But if my wife is a homebody, then she can do the cooking and we’ll probably have food with names I cannot pronounce and textures not seen by many.

Looking back at the year and everything I have ate, it’s basically the same shit over and over again. I said I hate change. When I find something I like, I stick with it. No need to go and be adventurous. It’s too much of a hassle and I am not a “on a whim” kind of guy. Not saying I don’t do things on a whim. I do. Just not very often. But you’re probably asking yourself right now, “so, Kirk. What did you eat last month? All your readers are dying to know. Please! Please, tell us!”

No need to twist my arm. Here is the list. Enjoy.

Breakfast:

• 2 Farmer’s Choice Breakfast
  • 4 eggs over easy
  • 4 pancakes
  • 6 pieces of bacon
  • 2 orders of toast
    • 1 white
    • 1 wheat (this was during my “be healthy” era. Did it taste different? No. But I prefer white.)
• 1 Bowl of Oatmeal
  • (brown sugar, butter)
    
• 12 Bagels
  • 10 blueberry bagels
  • 2 cinnamon raisin bagels
• 12 Yogurts
  • 3 Strawberry
    • 2 with granola
    • 1 without granola
  • 2 Raspberry with granola
  • 7 Blueberry
    
    • 6 with granola
    • 1 without granola
• 11 Donuts
  • 8 maple cinnamon rolls
  • 1 maple iced raised donut with chocolate drizzle
  • 2 Quicktrip long johns
    • 1 maple
    • 1 chocolate
• 3 Jumbo Blueberry Muffins
  

Lunch (work meals):

• 9 Medium Spicy Beef Lo Mein
  • no vegetables, no oyster sauce
• 2 Grilled Chicken Breast Sandwiches
  • lettuce, tomato, mayo
    • 2 Rotini Pastas
• 2 Pasta Bakes
  • 1 corn
  • 1 mashed potatoes with beef gravy
  • 1 rotini pasta
  • 1 slice of wheat bread
  • 1 bread stick
• 1 Chicken Enchilada
  • side of mexican corn
  • side of spanish rice
• 3 Pulled Pork Sandwiches
  • 2 small, 1 large
    • 1 side of baked beans
    • 1 side of mashed potatoes with beef gravy
    • 1 piece of cornbread
• 1 Beef Tip Sandwich (with BBQ Sauce)
  • 1 side of baked beans
  • 1 side of macaroni and cheese
  • 1 piece of cornbread
  • 1 oatmeal raisin cookie
• 1 Grilled Club Sandwich (with 3 miracle whips)
  • 1 bag of fun size fritos
• 2 Hot Turkey Sandwiches With Beef Gravy
  • 1 on white bread/1 on wheat bread
    • 4 scoops of Mashed Potatoes
• 1 Bacon Cheeseburger
  • lettuce, tomato, ketchup)
  • 1 side of tator tots
• 2 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Lunch:

• 1 Philly Time Deluxe Philly Steak
  • 1 side of onion rings
  • 1 chocolate chip cookie
• 1 Burger King Whopper
  • 1 side of onion rings
• 7 Peanut Butter and Raspberry Sandwiches
• 1 Hy-vee Club Foot Long on Wheat
  • 4 miracle whips
• 1 Subway Cold Cut Combo
  • 1 on white bread
  • 3 oatmeal raisin cookies
    
• 1 Visit to Pizza Street
  • 2 slices of baked potato pizza
  • 2 slices of bacon pineapple pizza
  • 2 slices of pepperoni pizza
  • 1 slice of taco pizza
  • 2 slices of cheese pizza
  • 1 pizza street cinnamon roll

Dinner:

• 3 Twenty Piece McDonald’s Nuggets
  • 6 BBQ,
  • 6 Sweet and Sour Sauces
• 2 Chicken Ramen Noodle Soups
• 1 Ming Garden General Chicken (ate half)
  • 1 side of steamed rice
• 1 Plate of egg noodles
• 2 Popeye’s 3 piece dinners (3 legs, 3 thighs)
  • 2 sides of mashed potatoes with gravy
  • 2 biscuits
• 2 Subway Cold Cut Combos
  • 1 on white
  • 1 on wheat (forgot the tomatoes
  • 2 M&M chocolate chip cookies
  • 3 oatmeal raisin cookies
• 14 Papa Johns Pizza
  • 8 hot slices of cheese pizza
    
  • 3 cold slices of cheese pizza
    
  • 3 nuked slices of cheese pizza
    
  • 10 pieces of cinnamon sticks

Drinking Snacks:

• 2 handfuls of Lime Chips
• 1 Tostinos Cheese Pizza

Bar Meals:

• 1 Order of Mozzarella Sticks
  • 8 count
• 2 Orders of Quesadillas
  • (6 count) 12 total

Desserts:

• 2 Granola Bars
  • 1 Fudge Bar
  • 1 Honey and Oats
• 1 Hy-vee Ice Cream Bar
• 7 Cookies
  • 1 oatmeal raisin cookie
  • 2 M&M cookies
  • 3 Chocolate Chip Cookies
  • 1 Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie
• 2 Caramello Candy Bars
• 3 Mini Blueberry Muffins
• 1 Bag of Sour Patch Kids
• 1 Scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream
  • topped with mini m&ms and chocolate syrup
• 4 mini cinnamon rolls

Test Tasting:

• 1 Chicken Taquito
• 1 sample of crisp topping
  • flour, butter, brown sugar, oatmeal, cinnamon
• 3 Samples of Taco Salad
  • 1 mixed with black bean salsa
  • 2 without the black bean salsa
• 1 Strip of grilled Porkloin

Misc…

• 34 Valerian Pills
  • to cure my attacks

There is the stats for the month of May. I say it about everytime I finish with the stats but I really do need to learn to eat better. I can’t say I try cause I don’t. But you never know. Maybe after this month, I will. I am planning on doing a half way point tally of what I have ate the entire year so far. I don’t know if it will be done but it’s an idea I have. That will take some time. Just keep watching the site. You never know. It might show up.