How Did I Effin’ Forget This!?

soapHow on earth did I not put this on my top ten action movies!? It is my all time favorite movie. I shouldn’t really say, “all time favorite”. Saying that will just put the whole purpose of a top ten list to rest. There would be no reason for it. It is up there as one of my all time favorite movies. Sure the movie is campy, sure it’s not a blockbuster movie or close to being “Citizen Kane”. But come on? It’s Snakes. On a effin’ plane! Take two things people fear the most and mash it together. Some folks fear zombies and planes. No need to worry. They covered that too! Both movies were great. I was psyched for this movie (SoaP) well before it ever came out. There was a site, (www.snakesonablog) that kept all fans informed about news, parodies, and his mission to get to the premire.  deadplane

Snakes on a Plane starred Samuel L. Jackson as, FBI Agent Neville Flynn.  He was transporting a passenger to California to testify in a case against crime boss, Eddie Kim. The witness, Sean, is the only one who can put Eddie away for life. Kim cannot have that. He devises a plane to keep Sean from talking. Flight Pacific Air 121 is loaded with passengers. We have the sex crazed, put smoking youngsters, the “Paris Hilton” type chick,  rapper, 3 G’s (He can make your booty go thump) and his posse, the angry business man, the sexy foreign single mother and baby,  the newlyweds on their flight back to the California, a kickboxing champion, and a couple of kids traveling without their parents. The stewardesses help make the cast a well rounded group. Claire is quitting and moving on to bigger and better things. Grace is retiring, but had to give it one more go. Ken is the only male steward on board. Him and his girlfriend are big fans of kickboxing. He tries to show his moves to the kickboxing champ but hurts himself in the process. Tiffany is the last flight attendant. She’s all hot for Sean. She sneaks up to see him, assuming he’s a felon, being transported by the feds. There, she finds out he’s to testify against Kim.

The flight takes off. Flynn walks around the cabin, checking on things. He runs into Claire who isn’t to happy about them comadeering the plane. After a brief encounter and a quick understanding, they become instant friends. 3 G’s spots Mercedes (Paris Hilton chick). He quickly offers her a role in his next video. The flight hits the point of no return and then, the real action starts. Deep below in the cargo hold, a timer reaches zero and the door to a large crates busts open, releasing hundreds of venomous snakes. The pot smoking couple, decide to join the mile high club and sneak off into the bathroom. Inside, they light up a joint, yanking out the smoke detector. Unbeknownto them, slithering above them, is a deadly viper. We are treated to snake night vision. We follow the snake as he makes his way to the open hole in the bathroom.He hangs above them, before he drops and sinks his fangs into the women voluptuous breasts. Panic insues. Outside, Grace and Ken hear them. “Oh, he’s good.” Then silence. She scoff and adds, “well, maybe not that good.” They continue on, totally oblivious to what really happened inside.

The snakes continue to slither around the plane, sneaking in purses, barf bags, going up dresses and hiding beneath passengers seats. Inside the pilots cabin, co-pilot, Rick fends off a snake that found its way to the controls. The pilot meets an untimely death, while trying to fix a mechanical issues below deck. Before long, Rick is scared to find more snakes slithering about the controls. He grabs a clipboard and beats the snakes. Unfortunately, he hits a button and releases the oxygen masks. With no other way to go, the snakes begin dropping down, falling on the passengers. Panic fills the plane. People begin getting bit and bit some more. From that point on, we see some passengers, meet their untimely end. But the others have one way out. His name is, Samuel L. Jackson. He tazors snakes, grabs them with his hands and beats them, and some, he just tosses about like rubber toys. The movie started with a PG-13 rating but fans wanted more. Jackson is known for his love of the phrase, “mother f**ker”. With a lot of asking and nagging, David Ellis, director of 3 of the Final Destination films, went back and added, more gore, nudity, and that phrase we all wanted to hear.

The movie created such an online buzz, it was popular well before the movie even came out. DC Lugi, created spoofs about the movie. One of my favorites is, “Early SoaP Auditons”. We’re treated to some great impressions like, Robert DeNiro and Christopher Walken. Even, musical group, Cobra Starship got in on the act and released a song just for the movie. God, that song is great. Everyone got in on the act. People created cafepress shirts. I bought two. Hell, I had to. I had to show my support for the epic movie. I do have an offical shirt and hat. A soapmanfriend attended the annual Comic Con and snagged me a set. I was crazy about this movie and mentioned it where ever I went. I went opening night.

The movie means a lot to me. I’ve seen it at least two dozen times and will make it four dozen times before 2010 is up. Should I claim this as my number one movie? Should I have said this was my all time favorite action flick? I don’t know. It is a great movie but now that I think about it, Die Hard, Wanted, Terminator, and all the others, have more action than SoaP had. Maybe SoaP will be lucky enough to spawn a sequel. Will it happen? Not likely. But one can dream.

I highly reccomand you see this movie. I have seen movies way cornier than this. Movies with worst acting and a terrible plot. Those movies could be better if they had Samuel L. Jackson. He’ll make any movie a hit.

And now, some music!

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