12/9/09

How Did I Effin’ Forget This!?

soapHow on earth did I not put this on my top ten action movies!? It is my all time favorite movie. I shouldn’t really say, “all time favorite”. Saying that will just put the whole purpose of a top ten list to rest. There would be no reason for it. It is up there as one of my all time favorite movies. Sure the movie is campy, sure it’s not a blockbuster movie or close to being “Citizen Kane”. But come on? It’s Snakes. On a effin’ plane! Take two things people fear the most and mash it together. Some folks fear zombies and planes. No need to worry. They covered that too! Both movies were great. I was psyched for this movie (SoaP) well before it ever came out. There was a site, (www.snakesonablog) that kept all fans informed about news, parodies, and his mission to get to the premire.  deadplane

Snakes on a Plane starred Samuel L. Jackson as, FBI Agent Neville Flynn.  He was transporting a passenger to California to testify in a case against crime boss, Eddie Kim. The witness, Sean, is the only one who can put Eddie away for life. Kim cannot have that. He devises a plane to keep Sean from talking. Flight Pacific Air 121 is loaded with passengers. We have the sex crazed, put smoking youngsters, the “Paris Hilton” type chick,  rapper, 3 G’s (He can make your booty go thump) and his posse, the angry business man, the sexy foreign single mother and baby,  the newlyweds on their flight back to the California, a kickboxing champion, and a couple of kids traveling without their parents. The stewardesses help make the cast a well rounded group. Claire is quitting and moving on to bigger and better things. Grace is retiring, but had to give it one more go. Ken is the only male steward on board. Him and his girlfriend are big fans of kickboxing. He tries to show his moves to the kickboxing champ but hurts himself in the process. Tiffany is the last flight attendant. She’s all hot for Sean. She sneaks up to see him, assuming he’s a felon, being transported by the feds. There, she finds out he’s to testify against Kim.

The flight takes off. Flynn walks around the cabin, checking on things. He runs into Claire who isn’t to happy about them comadeering the plane. After a brief encounter and a quick understanding, they become instant friends. 3 G’s spots Mercedes (Paris Hilton chick). He quickly offers her a role in his next video. The flight hits the point of no return and then, the real action starts. Deep below in the cargo hold, a timer reaches zero and the door to a large crates busts open, releasing hundreds of venomous snakes. The pot smoking couple, decide to join the mile high club and sneak off into the bathroom. Inside, they light up a joint, yanking out the smoke detector. Unbeknownto them, slithering above them, is a deadly viper. We are treated to snake night vision. We follow the snake as he makes his way to the open hole in the bathroom.He hangs above them, before he drops and sinks his fangs into the women voluptuous breasts. Panic insues. Outside, Grace and Ken hear them. “Oh, he’s good.” Then silence. She scoff and adds, “well, maybe not that good.” They continue on, totally oblivious to what really happened inside.

The snakes continue to slither around the plane, sneaking in purses, barf bags, going up dresses and hiding beneath passengers seats. Inside the pilots cabin, co-pilot, Rick fends off a snake that found its way to the controls. The pilot meets an untimely death, while trying to fix a mechanical issues below deck. Before long, Rick is scared to find more snakes slithering about the controls. He grabs a clipboard and beats the snakes. Unfortunately, he hits a button and releases the oxygen masks. With no other way to go, the snakes begin dropping down, falling on the passengers. Panic fills the plane. People begin getting bit and bit some more. From that point on, we see some passengers, meet their untimely end. But the others have one way out. His name is, Samuel L. Jackson. He tazors snakes, grabs them with his hands and beats them, and some, he just tosses about like rubber toys. The movie started with a PG-13 rating but fans wanted more. Jackson is known for his love of the phrase, “mother f**ker”. With a lot of asking and nagging, David Ellis, director of 3 of the Final Destination films, went back and added, more gore, nudity, and that phrase we all wanted to hear.

The movie created such an online buzz, it was popular well before the movie even came out. DC Lugi, created spoofs about the movie. One of my favorites is, “Early SoaP Auditons”. We’re treated to some great impressions like, Robert DeNiro and Christopher Walken. Even, musical group, Cobra Starship got in on the act and released a song just for the movie. God, that song is great. Everyone got in on the act. People created cafepress shirts. I bought two. Hell, I had to. I had to show my support for the epic movie. I do have an offical shirt and hat. A soapmanfriend attended the annual Comic Con and snagged me a set. I was crazy about this movie and mentioned it where ever I went. I went opening night.

The movie means a lot to me. I’ve seen it at least two dozen times and will make it four dozen times before 2010 is up. Should I claim this as my number one movie? Should I have said this was my all time favorite action flick? I don’t know. It is a great movie but now that I think about it, Die Hard, Wanted, Terminator, and all the others, have more action than SoaP had. Maybe SoaP will be lucky enough to spawn a sequel. Will it happen? Not likely. But one can dream.

I highly reccomand you see this movie. I have seen movies way cornier than this. Movies with worst acting and a terrible plot. Those movies could be better if they had Samuel L. Jackson. He’ll make any movie a hit.

And now, some music!

12/8/09
taken2

Action Packed Top Ten

What makes a good action flick?

Kicking Ass?

Check.

Blowing Shit Up?

GREAT SCENE – V for Vendetta (finale)

Check.

Being A Total Badass?

Wanted – The Best Scene 2008 HQ

Check.

Who doesn’t love a good action packed movie? How will I pick just ten? Let’s just get right to the list shall we?

10. Conair/Face-off

It’s a tie between these two. Nicolas Cage used to be a good actor. When he decided to do Wickerman and Bankok Dangerous, he became as popular as Steve Guttenberg. Conair has an amazing cast. Shit blows up, people fight and bodies fall from the sky. Faceoff is stylized with doves flying and passion for peaches. “Peaches? I could eat peaches for hours.” You decide. Which one should reign supreme for the number 10 slot?

httpv://www.youtube.com/v/Vlg-VRc6TbY

httpv://www.youtube.com/v/fWq-S1_1vnc

09. Mr. and Mrs. Smith

The ending scene, the car chase, the hits, the house fight= bad ass flick! Did I mention Vince Vaughn is in it too?

httpv://www.youtube.com/v/YP5JzWDWcoo

httpv://www.youtube.com/v/jmD9sgto60U

08. Air Force One

Best. Line. Ever.

httpv://www.youtube.com/v/UJMxtvm-O5s

07. The Matrix Triolgy

Being that the whole series is one big action orgasm, I figured I’d put all three at number 7. Sure Keanu Reeves is a shitty actor but the movie was great. The rooftop scene, the car chase, the shoot-outs, and more shoot-outs. Ignore the whole, “we live in the matrix” story. Just go see the movie for the violence and the ass kicking. That’s all that is important. But, Kirk? If the story isn’t important, why is this movie on the list?

This is why.

06. The Terminator Series

I have yet to watch the 4th one. But I’ll assume its good. T2 was my favorite, then the first, and Rise of the Machines last. RotM only gets top prize because of the nukes going off. I love watching the world burn. I need to get a top ten End of the World flicks on here soon. More videos below of some kicking ass scenes.

05. Die Hard

He kicks some series ass. Shit is always blowing up! Classic catch phrase too. A plane blows up, a building blows up, and how many people take on a jet fighter with their bare fist?

Yippie-Kai-Yay, Mother F**ker!

04. The Dark Knight

I really don’t like Heath Ledger. I didn’t think he was the great actor everyone made him out to be. Being a gay cowboy doesn’t make you great. I will give him credit for his take on The Joker. He did a great job. This was a badass movie. Batman is by far, the greatest comic book hero ever. I do hope Mr. Nolan continues on and makes a third one. I’d like to see them redo The Riddler. He’s my favorite villian.

+1 for blowing shit up.

03. Wanted

Another flick where Angelina Jolie is an assassin. She was born for this kind of role. I don’t know who James McAvoy is or where he came from but he kicked some serious ass at the end of this flick. Senseless violence is the best part of an action flick.

02. Taken

Don’t eff with Liam Neeson. He’ll look for you, he’ll find you, and he’ll kill you.

The best action flick…..

01. GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra

I’ve loved this cartoon since I first laid eyes on it. I was worried about the movie being lame and cheap. I was wrong. It was everything I could have hoped for.

I could have explained more about the movie and why I loved it but they’re action flicks. The only thing about them are the explosions, chase scenes, and lots of ass kicking. I’ll have more fun with my next list. I just felt I needed to rush another top ten out quick, I don’t want to slack on these. I promise, comedies will be next.

Promise.

12/2/09

Top Ten Deux

westsideI am jumping to a completely different genre now. I should blame my mother for bringing musical theatre into our lives. She did influence us kids with music. We would take family trips often. Now, not so many. During our trips, we would listen to music. Since it was her car, the music was her choice. Each trip we took, we listen to the same Cd’s. The Monkees, Kenny Rogers, John Denver, and Camelot. For Mr. Rogers, we declared the CD (or cassette back then) the title of “20 hour tape”. It was his twenty greatest hits but it seem to last forever. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know why it was name that. Figured I would explain it to you still. Those family trips were the greatest. You pile six kids in a van and crank us the music. The van was a Mazda MPV. Since my mother likes to read my blog, I better state the color. It was not grey. It was not just “silver”. It was a color called, “winning silver”. She liked to correct us if we called it different.

The list below is based on musical films. I hope you enjoy it. I would reccomand to those not into this kind of music, give it a try. You’d be surprised how amazing it truely is.

TOP TEN MUSICAL FILMS

10. The Hunchback of Notre Dame

By far, my favorite Disney movie. Best music? No. Great music? Yes.  I was taking French class the year it came out. I thinks that’s why I love it more than anything. I had a connection with it. My sister likes “Beauty and the Beast”. My moms favorite movie is, “Robin Hood”. I feel bad for Disney. Since CGI became the new way for animation, you don’t see many hand drawn, classic looking Disney movies anymore. I am aware they are doing “The Princess and the Frog”. I plan on seeing it. My favorite song in this movie has to be, “Hell Fire.” Frollo is pinning after the gypsy girl. I think I have some obsession with gypsies. If they make my list again, I will seek help.

Best songs in the movie.

09. Bedknob and Broomsticks

Another Disney movie to make the list. Can I take it back and say this my all time favorite Disney movie? The “substitutionary locomotion” song is my favorite part. The soccer game was memorable. Then the whole ending! OMG! A Disney movie has an all out war. Fantastic! I really need to get to watching this again.

08. Mary Poppins

Cheese and Crackers! Another Disney movie. They did put out some good movies. Do I switch titles and make this a Top Ten Disney Films?

I always love when people make these “recut” trailers for movies. Do I wish this was a real movie? Yes!

I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith. What’s the name of his other leg?

So many songs to list..

  • Step In Time
  • Let’s Go Fly A Kite
  • Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
  • Chim Chim Cheree
  • A Spoonful of Sugar
  • The Penguin Dance Number
  • Love To Laugh
  • Jolly Holiday

07. The Music Man

Finally. A non Disney movie. Con man, Harold Hill comes to town with an offer. He offers uniforms and to train the boys marching band then skip town with the good people’s money. But nothing ever goes as planned in movies. He catches the eye of the librarian, Marian. The movie was redone with Matthew Broderick. I haven’t watched it, so I cannot give you my opinion on it.

06. Fiddler On The Roof

ah…the Jewish people. Nothing makes your miserable life better than a little a song and dance. I remember watching this movie in grade school. I enjoyed watching this more than watching the crapfest people call, “Grease”. My hatred for “Grease” started in grade school. Every time it rained or there wasn’t anything to study for, we (the students) were given the opportunity to relax and enjoy a movie. What did everyone pick? Yep. They picked that horrible movie. I watched Midway and enjoyed that more. When I come across “Grease” on TV or someone brings it up, a little piece of me dies. “Fiddler on the Roof” is a classic. Topol dancing about, clucking like a chicken, I never saw Travolta doing that. His dream is a great number too. All around, great music. If that ever comes to town and plays somewhere, I’ll see it. I always say that. I never go though. Mazel Tov!

05. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

Stop. Don’t judge me. It may not be a classified as a musical but it has numbers, singing, and dancing. So if I was to be technical, it is a musical. A great one in my opinion. South Park is a funny show. The movie still makes me laugh. Kyle, Eric, Stan, and Kenny plan on seeing the new “Terrence and Phillip” movie. After seeing it, they learn some naughty words. Kyle’s mom then blames the country of Canadia. How many movies can you say have Satan and Saddam in a love affair? You have to give the movie credit. It even got nominated for an Oscar with it’s musical number, “Blame Canada.” Best R rated animated movie ever.

“sweet…”

04. Newsies

Ha. Disney again. A bunch of newsies dance around trying to save their jobs. Bill Pullman, Max Casella (Doogie Howser MD), and Christian Bale star in this 1992 flick. Can you believe that Bruce Wayne, Batman himself sings and dances? Kind of wish they put down Crutchy. I never liked him. He got on my nerves. Since I mentioned Max Casella, this leads me to my number 3 movie on my list. Strange how my top ten almost works like “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.” “South Park” was co-written by, Trey Parker. There is an actor with the same name in Newsies. Coincidence?

03. Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Maybe not a movie but still makes my list. It stars the ever fantastic, Neil Patrick Harris, Felicia, Day, and Nathan Fillion. NPH of what TV show? That’s right! Doogie Howser MD. And who starred in that? Max Casella! Six Degrees for the win! Dr. Horrible’s is a love/world domination story. NPH is Billy aka Dr. Horrible. He wants to join the Evil League of Evil. He needs to commit a crime. His first attempt not only fails, but gets the woman of his dreams, Penny,  to meet up with his arch nemesis, Captain Hammer. The video was available at the Dr. Horrible website to watch but has been taken down. You can purchase the music on Itunes or visit amazon to purchase the movie.

02. Chicago

Who would have thought that Richard Gere could sing? Two girls, one act. Sounds kind of dirty if you ask me. But Roxie Hart wants to be famous. What’s the only way to be famous? Kill someone. Get the best lawyer and the rest is front page news. The movie has a great cast, great music, and an all around fun feel to it. I’ve never seen it on stage but if the musical itself is anything like this, then I need to buy my ticket ASAP. Funny story about this movie. My friend and I were watching this movie and waiting for a pizza. When the pizza came, the pizza man said to me, “I love this movie. Good choice.”

And now…the number one Musical Film of my choice is……

01. Oliver!

I just love this movie. Nothing to explain here. It’s just a great movie with great music.

The top ten list thing is harder than I thought. So many movies and so many genres. Trying to figure out what genre a movie will fall in, is going to be the hardest part. I plan on doing, “Top Ten Comedies” next. Keep a look out for that one. I am sure I’ll miss many movies. Picking just 10 will be a job in itself.

11/29/09
ToT

Top Ten Scary Movies

JasonWhy does it always seem that people want to know what your favorite movie is? That’s a really hard question to answer on the spot. I have hundreds of movie I can say are my favorite. But to choose just one? I don’t think anyone can. I thought about it and decided to change the format of this topic. I was going to just do a top ten of my all time favorite movies but that is not going to satisfy me. Why not do a top ten list of genres? This way, I can give you at least 50+ movies that I can say I love dearly. Since I love the horror genre more than anything, I’ll start with that. This thing is going to be hard. I don’t base this off of current trends or what other people say should be on the list. These are my personal favorites. Hopefully, I can continue this category weekly. I’ll just have to think of how many genres there are. Now, on with the list!

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