My favorite holiday is coming up quickly. That holiday is none other than, Halloween. When I was younger, it was all about the candy. It’s a simple holiday. You dress up, knock on someone’s door, and BAM! You get free candy. It’s mind-boggling. My sisters and I would grab a pillow case and by the time we arrived home, it would be full of candy bars, pixie sticks, suckers, and gum. Not to mention, the horrible people who handed out worthless crap, like stickers or .25 toys. Not offense. I am out for candy, not garbage. I don’t know how long we would stay out. I am sure when Halloween fell on a Friday or a Saturday, it was an all night event. Any other day, we had to get home early. You know, school. Arriving home, was just as exciting as the journey we took collecting the sugary bounty. My sisters and I would lie on the floor and dump what seemed like endless amounts of candy on the living room floor. We divvy it up. We’d trade snickers for butterfingers and whoppers for gum. Even trades for the candies we liked. The candy would last us months. I liked to stash my candy in my dresser drawers. Grab a pair of socks and grab a milky way while I am at it. I ate way too much candy when I was younger. Now a days, I hardly eat it. I do get the sudden urge for a candy bar but it’s rare.

The days of trick or treating were great. It is and always will be the greatest day a child will always know. But as we get older, the idea of dressing up and going door to door gets to be sort of lame. We are too cool to hand out candy. We’re too old to go out and peddle for the goods. We’d rather sit home and just watch scary movies. You’d be home and turn off your porch light. But the little buggers still come knocking. They know you’re in there. They know you’re home. We may be kids but we’re not stupid. A dark house was just the owners way of saying,

We don’t participate in Halloween. We don’t have candy. Please move along.

Didn’t matter. The people who did partake in this event overshadowed those that thought the candy idea was rubbish. I have handed out candy a few times. It was my way of giving back to the youth of tomorrow. My sister and I dressed up in scary costumes and sat motionless in chairs on the porch. We sat the candy bowls on our laps and posted a sign saying, “grab a piece”. When they did, we’d scare the daylights out of them. Kids cried, we’d fist bump each other. I liked dressing up in the scary costumes. I’ve been the hobo, I’ve been a giant baby, and I was once a mummy. Since my mind is somewhat twisted, I switched over to the killer cook, zombies, and bought the scary masks. I like Halloween. I like dressing up. It’s my holiday. Some folks like Christmas, I like Halloween.

My Halloween costumes are unique. Maybe not “one of kind” but unlike most people who buy costumes at stores, I used my creativity to make them. I put time in them. I worked hard on them. Yes, there were two years (between 1998-2009) that I sunk to buying one. I am not proud of it. I think it shows you actually care and love Halloween when you put them together yourself. When you put blood, sweat, and tears into one, it gives you a sense of accomplishment that you made something worth wild. I cannot recall what I was before 1998 but when that year hit, I knew I was going to make this my holiday. It became a staple of mine. After a few years, people would get excited to see what I would come up with for that year. I couldn’t upset my fans. I had to blow their minds with something greater than the next.

Since I recall all my costumes for the last 11 years, I am going to break this post up a few times. This will be a four-part post. I will save the last post to announce what I am planning on being this year and hopefully, if I am done in time, share the picture with you. Please enjoy the post and the costumes. I did…at least I did for a few of them.

1998: Bonnie (4 out of 5 stars)

This was the first costume I claim to be what started my trend for Halloween. I made this costume myself. Okay, not really. My mother did the vest. I can’t sew. She does help out with the sewing portions of my costumes. If I could sew, then I can say they were all my doing. But I cannot. It’s cool though. I still claim it as my own. There is a little back story to this costume I should mention. I am probably an acehole for doing this costume. To make somewhat of a mockery out of someones problem is a good way to get a nonstop flight to Hell. The story of this person is not a first hand account. I do not know their person expect from work. It is a costumers that would come in every night for a couple of meals. Another person I worked with told me the sad story behind, Bonnie. Bonnie is not a woman but a man. Bonnie dresses and acts like a woman. Why?

Bonnie was dating a man named, Mike. Mike and Bonnie were madly in love with each other. They were engaged to marry. At some point before the wedding, Bonnie and Mike were in a car accident. It was a fatal wreck for Bonnie. She died. Mike had a mental breakdown and with him being so very much in love with Bonnie, he took on her life. He started to dress like her, talk like her, and even at one point in this charade, would carry around a doll. The doll was her baby. Today, Bonnie is no more. The name has changed to Jessica. He is no longer a man. He is now a full-fledged female.

A sad story. It truly is. I still cannot be 100% sure this is the true story behind why he dresses the way he does. But I was young and stupid. You can tell me anything and I’d believe you. Whatever the story behind him is, I still think it was a good costume.  I was young. I was heartless (still am. sorta). I wanted to do something creative. I wanted a costume to thrill and make people laugh. I did not dress up as Bonnie to work. I wasn’t allowed to. Even if I could have, I don’t think it would have gone over well if she/he saw it.

1999: Matt C. (1 out of 5 stars)

 

I was such an ass back then. I kept the charade up of dressing up as a real person that I knew or knew of. Matt was a fellow co-worker that I really didn’t care for. He was an ass kisser and quite the brown noser. Maybe that’s why I didn’t like him. I don’t like people who suck up to others. I didn’t dress up as him to my job. I really wasn’t allowed to. I don’t think I dressed up that year either. Don’t worry, I do end up dressing up for Halloween to work. That happens next year. I did tell people about my idea for a costume. Some laughed and some just thought I was being cruel. Yes, I was being cruel. I remember going home that day after work and just crashing on my bed. I was too tired to go out. I didn’t want to. The costume was going to be a bust. Eventually, I succumbed to my brother’s wishes and went to a party at another employee’s house. You know what was really awkward? The kid I was poking fun at was there too. I put a real damper on his night. He didn’t find it funny. I think I felt, what’s the word? Remorse? Being there and seeing what I saw, made me understand why my brother demanded that I get my ass out of bed and come to this party. I thought he just wanted me to have a good time. It turns out, other people can play the same game I play. Three other people I worked with decided to stick it to me and dress up as me for Halloween. Pretty funny [censored] right there. They had me down to the letter. They had the dirty, grimy hat on. They had large ears, the dirty blond hair, and name tags to let people know who they were (not that it wasn’t obvious enough). I found it funny. I know it was all just for fun. I guess I am not the only one who can toss on some clothes and fake teeth and become someone I am not.

 

Sometime after my tasteless costume, Matt and I became friends. We don’t talk today but we grew to like each other. I guess I shouldn’t just judge people before really knowing them. I never knew the kid before hand. I just made him out to me some ass kisser who I just didn’t care for. This wasn’t a good costume but it was only year two of my Halloween tradition of dressing up.

2000: Jerry I. (2 out of 5 stars)

I am still on the kick of dressing up as people I know. This year, I actually went to work as this person. The best part, this gentlemen was my manager. Not just my manager but the guy who ran the whole store. It took me some brass bowls to come to work as this guy. He wasn’t a jerk or anything like that. I mean, the guy is the one who decides if I have a job or not. He could have easily told me to turn in the keys and never come back. But did he? No. He walked by and saw me. He stopped and looked at me.

My hair isn’t that gray!

Phew! That was a close one. He was quite the character. He would walk around with a coffee in his hand all the darn day. When we were allowed to wear a t-shirt, he would wear it just like I have it in the picture. I spent a good portion of that day walking around like he did. I don’t know if I ever did any real work that day. There was one costume I wore (2003) that I really was unable to work in it.

Jerry wasn’t the only manager I dressed up as. I carried the manager costume one more year. He is next year. Back then, I thought this was a classic Halloween costume. How many people go to

work and dress up as their boss? How many would get away with it? I did. Looking back on it now, the costume wasn’t anything creative. Between 1999-2002, I feel my costume lacked any real creativity. They were good costume. They were stuff to get a good laugh at for a while but the laughter died after the “I can’t believe you did that” wore off. After 2002, my creative juices kicked back in and I was back on the track to a good run with some bad ass costumes. Forgive me for not being up to par for a few years. That was then and this is now.

2001: Steve B. (1 our of 5 stars)

I know, I know. Another slap in the face to another employee. This is getting old. I am sure others thought so too. But since I was the manager the year before, why not take my chances and see if I  can get away with it again. His costume was a little more difficult than the others. I needed a bald cap. I looked around for one that would look normal. All the ones I found were just too dark for my skin complexion. The only thing I could find that worked was a “cone head” cap. It sounded like a good idea when I purchased it. But after I wore it and got all dressed up, I knew it was a terrible idea and just made the costume look like a trailer park.

Steve is a huge Royal’s fan. That will explain the ball cap I am wearing. I played it off like I was him. I made terrible announcements overs the stores PA system. I walk around like he did. I had that bounce in my step like him. I would even break out my calculator too. Like Jerry, Steve came looking for me. He heard through the grapevine that someone was posing as him that day. He rushed up and smiled. It was nice to see he got a kick out of it.

Look like someone is gonna be looking for a new job.

He made some comments on how I didn’t quite get his costume right. Come 2004, you’ll get a chance to see what Steve actually looks like. I posed for a photo with him. This was the last year I came as someone I worked with. It was getting old. I think the novelty of the shock wore off. No one cared anymore. They still were always curious as to what I was going to think of next year.

Like last year, the costume was good when I wore it but when I look at it now, it’s not as great as I thought it was. Maybe I was trying too hard. The ‘dress up as an employee’ era was over. I had to stop. I was running out of people to poke fun of. Next year, I’ll try better. I promise. I will try better.

This concludes part I of my Halloween costume blog. I’ll bring you year 2002-2005 next week. The years to follow I think got better with each year. I just hope you agree. I am planning on gathering the crap I need for this years costumes in the following weeks. I truly think it’ll be my best costume yet. I just need to get to work on it. I like to plan ahead. I usually have an idea of what I want to be a month or two in advance. I have the idea. I just haven’t taken the next step to start on it. But don’t worry. If I don’t get to the costume this year, I’ll still think of something to be. Sometimes I work better under the wire. If you’re into Halloween as much as I am, let me know. Send me an email at pitweston@gmail.com. I’ll be happy to post some pictures. While you wait,

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