Debbie Downers

Debbie Downer2I will admit that while I try to be a very positive person, there are times when I become a little negative. I am not always the happy, go-lucky person people seem to think I am. I have my days when I want to strangle the life out of each and every one of you. It’s nothing personal. I am just fed up with your depressing nature and the way you see life. I know life isn’t all sex and candy. I know life will be horrible and no matter how well we try, life will always be the red-headed cousin we try so eagarley to avoid. Nothing will protect us from the likes of the Debbie Downers. Debbie Downers have but one goal in life. They want to make sure we are sad. They want us to feel their pain. If they cannot feel joy then we, ourselves, shouldn’t feel joy, happiness, or anything that remotely feels like a warm embrace of love.

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My Odd Phobia

We all are afraid of something. It might be the dark or it might be the imaginary monster under the bed. I have my own share of phobias. Some of them are common and some phobias are stranger than fiction. I don’t suffer from arachnophobia. I don’t like spiders but I never will say I have a phobia of them. If you say you don’t have a fear of anything then I don’t believe you. We’re all afraid of something.

I mentioned my fear of people in bunny costumes. Still never found a scientific name for it but its real. I know there are other people out there who suffer from the same dread when they visit theme parks and spot the Easter Bunny hopping around. My fear, the one I am going to discuss now, stems from a movie. Since watching that movie and even having a run in with said fear, I am worried when I am near it. My imagination runs wild and I start having very strange thoughts. Sucks having an over active imagination. Simple things become much more than they actually are.

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Empty Threats

I work in retail. I have had my share of irate customers. I’ve been yelled at and I was even called a “giant dick with big ears“. It’s one of those perks you get when you sign up for a life of retail and customer service. When you’re in the retail world you have a certain respect for people in the same career path. While I don’t condone rude behavior towards waiters, cashiers, and others like them, I too have a breaking point when I become the people I dislike and find to be soulless beings with little to no regard for the person they are talking down to.

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A Gallon Of Milk

Have you ever walked into a room then forgot what you went in there for in the first place? I am sure you have. We all have. There was an article I read about how researchers at Notre Dame actually studied this and posted what causes this amnesia like problem. Nice to know that they are working on important things and not bothering with solving things like cancer, AIDS, and the Bieber Fever.

If you took the time to read the link, you would have seen that our forgetfulness is because we walk through doors. Nice to know that doors are the reason why I sometimes look like an idiot when I stand in a room with no idea why I went in there the first place. I was at work and while working on a project I had to stop and grab some milk from the other end of the store. It wouldn’t be such a big deal but we have rest stops along the way to help you  with your shopping experience. If you’re not picking up what I am laying down, let me explain it to you in stupid people terms.

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The Most Qualified Man Alive

I am well-educated in many fields. I can do it all and like Annie Oakley, I can do it better than you, you, and you. Will I be the best? No. I am not arrogant. I might talk a big game but I know I am not the great, powerful, and all-knowing. We’ll leave that to the Wizard of Oz. There will always be someone who is better at something than me and better than you are. That statement is not really true.  It gets me thinking about the other old saying,

“There is always someone worse off than you.”

What about if you are the last person? There has to be someone who is the last on the list. They must feel horrible. I would never want to be her. I’d say him but that would mean the most worse off person is a man and that my friend is laughable. If someone is going to be the worst off person in the world, it will be a woman. I am not sexist, ladies. I am just honest and that’s not because we are all created equal and it’s not because my mom raised me that way. It is because I am man and man is never wrong. We were wrong once when we gave you the power to vote. We are sorry about that and we are still beating ourselves up over that.

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