30,000 Feet And Nowhere To Go: Flight Two

I got off the plane and followed the signs to reach my gate. After weaving left and weaving right, I approached the gate. I sate down and turned my phone off airplane mode. I was pretty excited about that. I’ve never had the chance to use airplane mode until this trip. It was magical to say the least. Instantly, I received a voice mail. It was from a good friend wishing me a safe and happy trip. Even being on vacation away from work, that’s the first thing I thought of while I sat there waiting for the time to board the plane. I shot a text message to my boss. Guess all is good. They can survive without me. Hell won’t freeze over. That’s a sigh of relief.

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30,000 Feet And Nowhere To Go: Flight One

I have previously mentioned that I am somewhat of a germaphobe. I don’t like being touched. I hate shaking hands. I can’t leave out the constant coughing, sneezing, gagging, hacking, and all the others that fit into that category. I am sorry to say it but I must. You all have germs. If you’re part of my family, then hugging and shaking hands is okay. I will still cringe if you sneeze or cough around me. I am a healthy person. It’s you all that have the contagious, lethal virus inside of you. Not me. Those virus’ treat your body likes it their playground. I might be wrong. Maybe you’re never sick. Good for you. I know I am never sick. I have been sick before. I just don’t get sick or ill very often. As of today, I have been sick free for 2 years running. Aside from my anxiety attacks, I am healthy as a bouncing baby boy. How do I stay so healthy? Glad you ask. It’s simple. Cut off the world. I live alone and isolate myself from people. If you’re not around people, there is no chance you can be sick. I am not a true shut in. I do go out. I do have people over. I am over exaggerating a bit. I just rather not associate myself with people who resemble the cast of Cabin Fever. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I should really get the point of this post. A few weeks ago, I got to ride in one of those airplanes. I don’t mind flying. It’s nice. I don’t like take off. I assume it’s the moment the wheels leave the ground that put me in a state of panic. I like landing. It means were back on the ground and all is safe. Putting the taking off and landing aside, the one thing that grinds my gears more than anything, is the people. God, how I hate being around random people. We are 30,000 feet in the air. We are all stuck inside a fast moving cylinder with nowhere to go. You could be like the playboy bunny and try to open the door mid flight but I really don’t advise that. Opening a door or some f**kin’ windows will not make the flight any better. It will end the flight (and your life) for sure. With nowhere to go, I am stuck with these people for the length of the flight. No telling what biological diseases these people have roaming inside them.

Everyone is on the plane for the same reason. They have someplace to be. We might be heading to the same destination but once we leave the terminal, we’re on our own. I have one place I’d rather be. That’s in the comfort of my own home. My home is my bubble. It’s my safe haven. I know I won’t catch the so-called super flu or will I succumb to the nasty swine flu. No squealin’ like a pig for this city boy. I don’t hate flying. I already explained my fear of take off to you. I just despise the people on the plane. My recent trip to see my brother, put my on an US AIRWAYS plane. Flight was fine. No issues. It was a tiny plane. Very cramped the plane it was. You all know the gag about the dozen of clowns coming out of a tiny ace car? That’s exactly what the flight felt like.

As I was on the flight, I met some interesting characters. They might be normal in their own mind but who is to say what normal truly is? I sat next to a very large woman on the way to my destination. She was already seated before me. I approached the aisle and stood there for a second. I looked at my ticket. She glared at me like it was an issue that I needed to take my seat. I am sorry you had that extra donut on the way to the airport this morning. But be courteous to others and let us take a seat. I messed around on my phone while she did the same. The plane took off and we were advised to turn of all electrical devices. I pulled out my notebook and went to writing while I waited for the word to listen to my music. While I wrote (in poor lighting I should add), she broke out a tasteless romance novel. I knew it was a romance novel cause of the beefy dude with his arms around a scantily clad woman. She pressed the button to shine some light. No luck. She presses it again. Still didn’t. One more time. It will work I bet. Nope. Nothing. She let out a deep sigh and looked at me like I was going to solve the problem. I know I am man and you’re woman but do you see a lightbulb or an electrician diploma in my hand? I don’t think so. It’s not working. You can only push the elevator button so many times. It’s not going to make the car come any faster. Deal. She paged the stewardess to come over. The two woman put what little brains they had together to solve the case of the century. After a few pushes of the button, they came to the conclusion that the light was not working. Awesome work, ladies. You really cracked this case. The flight attendant apologized for the light being out of order and walked away to attend to another passenger. She looked at me like she wanted me to agree with the anarchy we have to endure. It was as if she wanted her and I to lead some revolt and picket the plane like were members of the Westboro Baptist Church. I am not siding with you. I’m here to learn, not to make out with you. On with the chlorophyll. The lady scoffed loudly and tucked her romance novel between her arms and her rolls. She sat there and did nothing for  sometime. Really? Really!? You’re pouting? Grow up. I wished I were somewhere else just then. I blew her off and went back to my own little world. While she sulked, I sat there writing and listened to music on my phone.

The drink cart came by. I enjoyed a nice can of orange juice and she did the same. While her and I shared a drink, she busted into her over-sized (everything about her is overly sized) purse and pulled out some chex mix. I sipped on my drink. I kept myself. She tapped me on the shoulder. A cold chill crossed my body. I was frozen for what felt like hours. Having headphones on, I couldn’t hear her nor did I want to. She pointed to the bag and offered me some. I was hungry but I don’t want to eat food from a baggy you brought from home. I bet you laced it with something. I rather not end up missing my connecting flight and wake up in some dark well, screaming about putting lotion on the skin. Besides, you need the food way more than I do.

While the plane was readying itself for landing, I removed my headphones and glared out the window at the city below me. There was talk of a wedding some lady was going to. I found it funny that the person she was with was a priest. Did he fly in for the wedding? Was he to be a guest or is he the actual priest that was going to marry the couple she kept blabbing about. No lie. She was using a level 8. When I am out and about anywhere, I use a speaking level of 4. I don’t care about the wedding you’re going to. I don’t care that the weather is going to be perfect.

Overly loud woman: It’s going to be such a beautiful wedding.

Man: I know! With weather to match.

Double you slash e? These two people talked more. Her banter caught on and other passengers joined in with her discussion about the weather, weddings they have attended, and someone (i think it was the padre) talked about their childhood. The man talked about how he was the baby in the family and how he was the favorite and golden child. If it was the priest talking, he really took the golden child image to the max. Favorite son? Golden Child? And now a priest!? Your parents better love you. The gaggle of Chatty Kathy’s went on and on about their families and how they were this and that. I don’t remember what it was about but someone talked about their older brother and how they never got along till just recently. It wasn’t serious, at least I don’t assume it was. He laughed after the comment of, “we never got along when we were younger”. I know. Brothers fight. Some brothers make you stand on your hand in the corner of the room. Some stab you with a pitchfork. Some shoot you with a pellet gun. And some brothers handcuff you to a piano. We all got our things. Thankfully, this plane ride was a germ free one. It had germs but at least no one was coughing them up and spreading the diseases across state line. It was high time for me to book it. I don’t wanna be around chex mix lady and this talk about this double beautiful wedding is making me nauseous. Stepping off the plane and into the airport was only the beginning of three more flights. This was mild compared to the others. I should thank the holy man for making it a safe and virus free ride. He exorcised the demons from everyone. Thank you, father. You saved us all. To not ramble on and on with each and every person I encountered on my trip, I am breaking this post into a few. I will post part II tomorrow. I don’t think you would be up to reading a lengthy post. I tend to write long posts. Once I start writing, I can’t stop.


How I Spent My Vacation: Part Too

Continuing from my last post, here is the rest of how I spent my vacation.


I woke up early again today. I am still undecided on the issue of waking up early or sleeping in. It is nice to sleep in. But if you get up early, you have a full day ahead of yourself. I brewed myself a cup of coffee and brushed my teeth. I poured me a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. By far, one of my favorite cereals. I sat down and turned on the television. Oh, look. “Dutch” is on. I haven’t seen this is ages. I can’t say it’s a movie I love watching but since it was on and was something I haven’t seen in years, I watched it. I was surprised to see ‘Christopher McDonald‘ in it. He played the evil father. This guy seems to always be typecast in every role he plays (or at least to me he does). He’s the a-hole in an Adam Sandler movie. An a-hole in this movie. And an a-hole in Dirty Work. Look him up. Eff it. Here’s a picture of him. He looked the same back than then he does now. The movie ended and I went into the computer room to read some emails and look on yahoo. The TV was still on and it said the movie, “The Invention of Lying” was on next. Oh, I haven’t see that. I’ll watch it. I enjoyed it. Not a big Jennifer Garner fan but I liked her in this. Not to mention, it had some pretty big names attached to it. Some were just bit parts but I always enjoy a movie when you see cameos like that. Lastly, it had Edward Norton playing a cop with a cocaine habit. One of my favorite actors. The movie ended. I jumped on my PC…again. I was planning on moving the desk around, you know, do a little rearranging. I ended up listening to music. After a bit, I decided to take a nice nap. Not sure how long of nap it was but it was nice. I had a dream. I cannot recall much but what I do remember was I was in Ireland. I assume it was there cause the people talked like they were Irish. I complained to the guy working there about the cold I just got. Was mad because I am never sick. I blamed the cold on me getting out of my house and being around people.

I woke up and checked my email. Another work email. I gave my opinion and hung up the phone. I made lunch and enjoyed a refreshing soda. It started to rain. (thanks, Ollie!). I finally got the energy to move my furniture around. I brewed a cup of coffee. I got it set up, turned it on, and my heart sank. But it was gone! Gone! All gone! No turkey!

No turkey sandwiches… Gone! All Gone! Whatever happened, all my files were missing. Okay. Not really missing. I had to explore around the PC and found it all. I transferred the files to my external drive. What made me even angrier was the fact that Outlook was back to nothingness. All my notes, all my food logging was gone. I was pissed. 8 months into this and all of it for nothing. After the files were moved, I rebooted and the angels sang. My files were back. I don’t know what happened. Whatever it was, it’s fine now. Another trip out of my apartment for a beer run. More drinking. I finished number 5 and headed off to bed for a good night sleep.


I awoke on Friday a little before 7am. Again, I made myself a cup of coffee. I enjoyed a blueberry yogurt and watched some TV. I caught the last few minutes of Casper. My channel has been set to HBO and all the other 20 channels they offer. I did some channel surfing and found Joe Vs. The Volcano. I opted on watching that. After the movie, I left the house (again) to pay a bill and take care of an urgent errand. I came back home, effed around on the PC a bit till I found myself back at the TV. Look. ‘The Mask‘ is on. Not the movie with Cher or the 80’s cartoon. I’m talking about the one with Jim Carrey. I am not a huge Cameron Diaz fan but it’s been ages since I’ve seen the movie. I stopped midway through (which I set up the DVR to record the rest) and left the house to see a movie. I have been wanting to see, “Inception” since it came out. I just never got around to it. My store director hated it. Another person said it was amazing. I figured I would take my chances. I splurged and got myself hot tamales and a thing of nachos. It was a one time thing. I don’t think I’ll ever get nachos again. Movie was good amazing! Ending is something that leaves you thinking. It’s diffidently one of those ‘you have to see again’ movies to catch what you overlooked. I arrived home. Paid the remaining two bills and finished watching The Mask. Parenthood was on. I watched a bit. Another good movie. I don’t think I have watched this much TV since I moved in here. The rest of my day consisted of eating, another cup of coffee and switching up the music on my iPhone. I debated on if I should go out tonight. Which is looking like something I’ll do. Better shave.  I went to the bar expecting to meet up with a group a people. I don’t know if they were there or not. I never looked. To my surprise, a group of other people I know were. I sat and drank with them. I controlled myself and didn’t drink excessively. I arrived home to see a strange car parked in my normal spot. Could be anyone. But don’t like when people take my parking spot. I know it’s not really “my spot”. But it’s where I always park. So in way, it is my spot.


I woke up off and on during the night. I had a dream. All I can recall was getting stabbed. I didn’t feel it in my dream though. Wish I could recall the rest. My mind is trying to recollect the memories of the dream but sadly, nothing is coming to mind. I made myself a bowl of cereal and enjoyed a cup of coffee. Watched yet another movie. This was a British film titled, “Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel.” Surprisingly, it was good. Anna Faris from the “Scary Movie” series starred in it. If I were a Brit (<-funny video), I probably would have known all the other people in it. It’s okay. I liked it no matter. I spent the majority of my afternoon and early evening working on my blogs. I ate and poured another cup of coffee. While I blogged, I finished laundry and dishes. After completing two blogs, I watched a little TV. Caught the tail end of “Monsters vs. Aliens.” Meh. Didn’t see why it was such a great movie. Back to my PC to blog a little more. I chatted up with an old online buddy. Drank some beer. I know I swore to not have people over but I did invite a friend over. After 20 minutes of waiting for him to reply if he’s coming or not, I asked. Guess not. I guess that was a good thing. I don’t want to break a third rule. Tonight isn’t a good night. So as of now, I am brewing a pot of coffee. I figured I would watch some TV and fall asleep to it. After tonight, comes Sunday. That means it’s the end.


The final day of my vacation before I had back to work. Am I excited? Yes and no. I woke up about 7. Maybe a little before. I made more coffee and ate some yogurt. I purchased, “Date Movie“. It was funny. Better than I expected. I do like both Tina Fey and Steve Carrell. I finished the movie and grabbed a lass of orange juice. I sat at my computer and tinkered with a few blogs before heading off to grab some lunch. I was planning on having a nice turkey and ham sandwich but I am out of cheese and miracle whip. I was sure I had them in the fridge. I was mistaken. Since I had the bread already out, I made a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. After eating, I finished up another blog and set it up to post early tomorrow morning. It was my way of still blogging (no. I didn’t break the twitter, facebook, blog rule). I have a few blogs ready to post throughout the day of Monday. Sadly, I will have to break the rule tonight before bed. So I guess what I am saying is, I will have broken 3 of the 4 rules. I almost broke all but since my friend didn’t come over, that rule stuck. Kudos to me for keeping at least of the rules intact. I decided to make some delicious Peanut Butter and Jam Bars. I had to run to my mother’s house to grab some butter. I could have gone to the store but I don’t need that much butter. Once I pulled up to my apartment, a friend called. He wanted to meet me at The 54 for a few drinks. I went and shared a few drinks and some stories. Coming back at home, I finally get around to finishing the bars. They turned out nice. I brewed a cup of coffee to get rid of the alcohol taste. Besides all the blogging, I ended my day with “True Blood”. Off to bed. A good end to a decent vacation.


It was a good vacation. I enjoyed my time away. I didn’t blog as much as I wanted. I drank more than what I expected. I watched a lot of TV. I even got myself to bed early every night except last night. I was up till about 2am. But I was a little tipsy. I needed to sober up before bed. The coffee helped. Sometimes going to bed tipsy is a pain. It’s better to pass out than try and sleep after a night of heavy drinking. I am still holding on to another full week of vacation and two more personal days. If I do get forced to take the last week, I’ll probably be a little more active than I was this time around. Being the recluse I was, well… Wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. It was nice. It was nice to just be alone and think. Not that I thought much. Just nice. Going out Friday night was so-so. I had fun. Being around people was weird. I still managed. I hope when you have a vacation, I hope it is as exciting and lazy as mine was.


How I Spent My Vacation: Part Jaun

I am a workaholic. I have always been this way. I find more joy being at work than sitting at home doing nothing. My days off aren’t anything amazing. A normal day off consist of me either sitting on the couch watching movies or sitting at my computer fiddling with twitter, facebook, or my blog. When I am at home, I think about work. I wonder what jobs aren’t being completed. I wonder what chaos I will walk into the next day. There never really is. Things run smooth without me there but I beg to differ. No matter how perfect the day went, I’ll still find something wrong. I’ll complain, “I should have been here. If I was here, this would have gotten done.” It’s just how I am. I hate to say but I love work.(?) How many people love work?

The last time I took a vacation was back in March. It wasn’t for rest and relaxation. I was in the process of moving and having a week is better than trying to move all in one or two days. Work is pretty busy. We service a total of five schools for their lunch. The total number of kids was 1800. Since we recently renewed, the total number is 2200, give or take a few. Since it is the summer, the kids are out. That means we get a break too. It was a well needed break for everyone. We did a bang up job with these new accounts. Sure we had our share of goofs but it’s expected. We came out champions. So with these schools being out, it meant we’re on vacation too. Holy hell! I thought I was out of school. It’s summer vacation all over again!

Week after week, employees were taking their well needed vacation. Being the true go-getter I am, I held off. Honestly, I was trying my best to avoid it at all cost. I didn’t feel the need for me. Two days off is fine with me. Hell, even one day off is fine. It gives me time to do laundry (if I could gain access to the laundry room), clean house, or if I had to, run errands. Sadly, I was “forced” to take vacation. If I had the chance, I wouldn’t have taken it. But, I did.

I had no desire to leave town. I just wanted to stay home and be a recluse. I had a few rules.

Rule 1: I cannot have people over.

Rule 2: No twitter, no facebook, no blogging.

Rule 3: Don’t answer the phone. Don’t text.

Rule 4: Don’t leave the house for any reason.

These were and are very simple rules. I mean, look at them. They are easy. I can do these. I have will power. I have the strength of twenty, no! Twenty-one men! It was going to be hard to do it. But I have to put my foot down. Shut the world off. Show them I don’t need to human contact to survive. After I left work on Sunday, I went home. I showered and took a small nap. I went back to the bar (54th street) to meet up with some people. Of the three, only one made it. One had to make it to the hospital. The other basically effed me over. I am not upset. I still drank. We chatted. We laughed. We left. I went home and watched some TV. I had a few drinks and watched True Blood. I headed to bed shortly after. It’s strange. You’d think I would stay up all hours because I didn’t have to work. But my body was and is still set on the normal bedtime schedule. I closed my eyes. It was the start of 7 days of doing nothing..


I woke up Monday around 8am. Since this is my vacation, I rolled back over and slept till about 1pm. I will admit. It was nice doing that. I didn’t have to worry about getting up at 5am or 6am. I looked at the clock and said, “eff it. I’ll sleep more. I got all week to do things.” That was nice. I really enjoyed that. Like I said, I got myself out of bed at around 1pm. I get out of bed. My phone was turned off the night prior. I really wanted to keep it off but I use my phone for music. I can’t play the stereo in my apartment. The Ghost of Carlos gets angrier than Bruce Banner. It’s annoying. I cannot play the stereo. I can’t play music though my computer. He pounds on the ceiling telling me to turn it off.  I turned my phone on and took a nice hot shower. Oh, look. I have a text and a phone call. It was work. I swore that I wouldn’t answer or reply but I said earlier, I am a work addict. It was my manager. He wanted me to call. It must be urgent. Lord, this place cannot run without me. I get a phone call from work almost every day. It’s stupid crap too.

Hi. Can you not bother me? Use your damn brain and figure it out.

I know I say I am a workaholic. But it gets tiresome when you get a call every night. Let me have one night off. That’s all I am asking.

I answered his question and went about my way to do nothing. Rule 3 is broken. Guess that’s okay. I still have three left. I noticed I had no food. I planned on buying food on Friday but I went out drinking. Didn’t do it Saturday or Sunday cause again, I drank. I even had a water bill to pay. The bill isn’t late. I just wanted to get food and pay the bill before I went into hiding. So I traveled to the grocery store (not the one I work at) and purchased some food for the following week. I got home and put all the food away. Allah Dammit! Broke another rule. That’s rule 4. Okay. Two out of four isn’t bad. It’s strange having a fridge with more than just beer in it. I had to pinch myself just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. To be sure that I actually purchased food for me to eat. No Golden Arch of the King this week. I have real food! Eff you, fast food! You lose this round.

I sat at home and watched some movies. I love Netflix. I watched, “The Boondocks Saints II” and a craptastic movie titled, “Townies”. Townies was bizarre. All I can remember from what I watched was a man peeing on a chick to cleanse her. There was also a mute gal who kidnapped a boy and a dumpster driver who found a dead body and made love to it. I quickly jumped to IMDB to look it up. I was surprised to see it was made recently. From looking at it, I thought it was from the early 80’s. Whatever. It was horrible. Don’t watch it. I was hoping for it to be like, “Freaks“. Now, that is a movie you should watch.

Gooble Gobble…

When the night came, I enjoyed some alcohol. A friend texted me. Crap. I’ll respond. She ended up calling me. After our call, I drank more then headed off to bed. What a fine start to a wonderful week.


Tuesday, I woke up earlier. It was up about 6am. I made a cup of coffee and turned on the television. A Robin Williams stand up was on.  Here’s a clip. Funny crap.

I watched that.  I then spent the next 3 hours of my day working on a excel spreadsheet for work. That was a pain in the rear. My old manager created it. He was a whiz at Excel. I don’t know jack about it. After finishing it, I noticed I ruined the formulas he set within the documents. So I had to manually cut and paste them all back in. From what I can tell, I did it just fine. But who knows. We’ll find out when we order for the first time. Again, I love work. I offered to work on the file many weeks ago. I just never got around to it.

After I finished it, I emailed it back to him. A triumph for me. I rewarded myself with some video games. I recently downloaded “Civilization: Revolutions” for the iPhone. It was free, courtesy of “Free App A Day”. I dusted off my xbox and played some it. I played more and more. My brother called me. We talked. I did some laundry. I ended up doing it all throughout the night. I started late. Eventually, I turned it off and drank. I sat at my computer and browsed the web. Do you know how hard it is to not use twitter, facebook, or any other social networking site when you normally use it umpteen times a day? Pretty damn hard.  I love to social network. My brother and I, along with some of his friends, had an idea to use social networking as a viral media tool. It never got off the ground. Be nice if we could get it running. I think it was a fantastic idea. To keep me busy, I’d get on yahoo and then go about and click and click, till I end up on sites I never knew about. The same friend from the night before texted me and we replied messages that really shouldn’t be said by anyone. I cannot and will not repeat what we wrote to each other. It was just banter between to grown adults. But wow. I had to take a shower after the things we wrote. I finished my last beer and took myself to bed.


I woke up to finish off my laundry. I started my morning with a cup of coffee and watching some HBO documentary about the McCain/Obama election. It was ‘wow’. There are some people in the south who are still living in the wrong era. It was a great documentary. I don’t know where I sit on the fence. I don’t know if I am more republican, democrat, or liberal. I agree on views on each side. But to watch these people who support McCain, they are the worst people I have ever seen. I voted for Obama. Do I think I doomed the country for what i did? No. I just agree with his views on things more than McCain’s views. This isn’t a blog about my political views. This is a blog about how I spent my vacation. Sorry about going off track. After the show, I went to Bob Evans. This was my second time leaving the house.  I was sort of forced into going. I mean, it’s Bob Effin’ Evans! I can’t pass that up. Besides, it was my mom’s turn to buy.  I get home and play some video games. I made some lunch and got an email from work. Oh, look more questions. I love work. He agreed I have a problem. But it’s cool. It’s what I love. I finish up another project. I found myself sweeping and cleaning the laundry room. I have to say, it is wonderful to not have the lazy laundriers living next door anymore. Full freedom!  I browse the web again and come across a movie called, “Exam”. It’s on Indemand!? Let me look! Awesome! I’m watching this. It was a good movie. The reviews I read were split. Some hated it. Some loved it. Don’t care what they think. People hated, “Snakes on A Plane“. Some people don’t know what a good movie is. Watch it.

8 people are trying out for this amazing job. They enter a room with no windows. The room has 8 desks. On each desk is a sheet of paper and a pencil. They are give a few rules. They are told to answer the question. The turn over the sheet of paper and it’s blank.

That is the beginning of my vacation. I’ll post the rest shortly.