Zombie Hunger Games

We all fear what will happen on the 21st of December this year. Depending on the election turning out like last year, we could be faced with the return of Obama. Many people believe he is the anti-Christ but still it cannot be proven. What about Planet X or a meteor crashing into our beloved planet? There is no telling what will bring civilization to its’ knees. I still believe the world is going to be overrun by zombies. Yes, just like AMC’s The Walking Dead – just with the exception of Carl running off.
Naysayers will blow their own horn and try to rationalize with people who if the zombie outbreak was to actually occur, the zombie would “die” out and all the hopes and dreams of people like me who dream of fighting zombies will fade away like the fall line up NBC. But I still believe that when December 21st hits and the Mayan’s laugh about it, we’ll all be subjected to the uprising of the undead and the hysteria that will soon follow.

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How I Spent My Vacation: Part Jaun

I am a workaholic. I have always been this way. I find more joy being at work than sitting at home doing nothing. My days off aren’t anything amazing. A normal day off consist of me either sitting on the couch watching movies or sitting at my computer fiddling with twitter, facebook, or my blog. When I am at home, I think about work. I wonder what jobs aren’t being completed. I wonder what chaos I will walk into the next day. There never really is. Things run smooth without me there but I beg to differ. No matter how perfect the day went, I’ll still find something wrong. I’ll complain, “I should have been here. If I was here, this would have gotten done.” It’s just how I am. I hate to say but I love work.(?) How many people love work?

The last time I took a vacation was back in March. It wasn’t for rest and relaxation. I was in the process of moving and having a week is better than trying to move all in one or two days. Work is pretty busy. We service a total of five schools for their lunch. The total number of kids was 1800. Since we recently renewed, the total number is 2200, give or take a few. Since it is the summer, the kids are out. That means we get a break too. It was a well needed break for everyone. We did a bang up job with these new accounts. Sure we had our share of goofs but it’s expected. We came out champions. So with these schools being out, it meant we’re on vacation too. Holy hell! I thought I was out of school. It’s summer vacation all over again!

Week after week, employees were taking their well needed vacation. Being the true go-getter I am, I held off. Honestly, I was trying my best to avoid it at all cost. I didn’t feel the need for me. Two days off is fine with me. Hell, even one day off is fine. It gives me time to do laundry (if I could gain access to the laundry room), clean house, or if I had to, run errands. Sadly, I was “forced” to take vacation. If I had the chance, I wouldn’t have taken it. But, I did.

I had no desire to leave town. I just wanted to stay home and be a recluse. I had a few rules.

Rule 1: I cannot have people over.

Rule 2: No twitter, no facebook, no blogging.

Rule 3: Don’t answer the phone. Don’t text.

Rule 4: Don’t leave the house for any reason.

These were and are very simple rules. I mean, look at them. They are easy. I can do these. I have will power. I have the strength of twenty, no! Twenty-one men! It was going to be hard to do it. But I have to put my foot down. Shut the world off. Show them I don’t need to human contact to survive. After I left work on Sunday, I went home. I showered and took a small nap. I went back to the bar (54th street) to meet up with some people. Of the three, only one made it. One had to make it to the hospital. The other basically effed me over. I am not upset. I still drank. We chatted. We laughed. We left. I went home and watched some TV. I had a few drinks and watched True Blood. I headed to bed shortly after. It’s strange. You’d think I would stay up all hours because I didn’t have to work. But my body was and is still set on the normal bedtime schedule. I closed my eyes. It was the start of 7 days of doing nothing..

Monday:

I woke up Monday around 8am. Since this is my vacation, I rolled back over and slept till about 1pm. I will admit. It was nice doing that. I didn’t have to worry about getting up at 5am or 6am. I looked at the clock and said, “eff it. I’ll sleep more. I got all week to do things.” That was nice. I really enjoyed that. Like I said, I got myself out of bed at around 1pm. I get out of bed. My phone was turned off the night prior. I really wanted to keep it off but I use my phone for music. I can’t play the stereo in my apartment. The Ghost of Carlos gets angrier than Bruce Banner. It’s annoying. I cannot play the stereo. I can’t play music though my computer. He pounds on the ceiling telling me to turn it off.  I turned my phone on and took a nice hot shower. Oh, look. I have a text and a phone call. It was work. I swore that I wouldn’t answer or reply but I said earlier, I am a work addict. It was my manager. He wanted me to call. It must be urgent. Lord, this place cannot run without me. I get a phone call from work almost every day. It’s stupid crap too.

Hi. Can you not bother me? Use your damn brain and figure it out.

I know I say I am a workaholic. But it gets tiresome when you get a call every night. Let me have one night off. That’s all I am asking.

I answered his question and went about my way to do nothing. Rule 3 is broken. Guess that’s okay. I still have three left. I noticed I had no food. I planned on buying food on Friday but I went out drinking. Didn’t do it Saturday or Sunday cause again, I drank. I even had a water bill to pay. The bill isn’t late. I just wanted to get food and pay the bill before I went into hiding. So I traveled to the grocery store (not the one I work at) and purchased some food for the following week. I got home and put all the food away. Allah Dammit! Broke another rule. That’s rule 4. Okay. Two out of four isn’t bad. It’s strange having a fridge with more than just beer in it. I had to pinch myself just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. To be sure that I actually purchased food for me to eat. No Golden Arch of the King this week. I have real food! Eff you, fast food! You lose this round.

I sat at home and watched some movies. I love Netflix. I watched, “The Boondocks Saints II” and a craptastic movie titled, “Townies”. Townies was bizarre. All I can remember from what I watched was a man peeing on a chick to cleanse her. There was also a mute gal who kidnapped a boy and a dumpster driver who found a dead body and made love to it. I quickly jumped to IMDB to look it up. I was surprised to see it was made recently. From looking at it, I thought it was from the early 80’s. Whatever. It was horrible. Don’t watch it. I was hoping for it to be like, “Freaks“. Now, that is a movie you should watch.

Gooble Gobble…

When the night came, I enjoyed some alcohol. A friend texted me. Crap. I’ll respond. She ended up calling me. After our call, I drank more then headed off to bed. What a fine start to a wonderful week.

Tuesday:

Tuesday, I woke up earlier. It was up about 6am. I made a cup of coffee and turned on the television. A Robin Williams stand up was on.  Here’s a clip. Funny crap.

I watched that.  I then spent the next 3 hours of my day working on a excel spreadsheet for work. That was a pain in the rear. My old manager created it. He was a whiz at Excel. I don’t know jack about it. After finishing it, I noticed I ruined the formulas he set within the documents. So I had to manually cut and paste them all back in. From what I can tell, I did it just fine. But who knows. We’ll find out when we order for the first time. Again, I love work. I offered to work on the file many weeks ago. I just never got around to it.

After I finished it, I emailed it back to him. A triumph for me. I rewarded myself with some video games. I recently downloaded “Civilization: Revolutions” for the iPhone. It was free, courtesy of “Free App A Day”. I dusted off my xbox and played some it. I played more and more. My brother called me. We talked. I did some laundry. I ended up doing it all throughout the night. I started late. Eventually, I turned it off and drank. I sat at my computer and browsed the web. Do you know how hard it is to not use twitter, facebook, or any other social networking site when you normally use it umpteen times a day? Pretty damn hard.  I love to social network. My brother and I, along with some of his friends, had an idea to use social networking as a viral media tool. It never got off the ground. Be nice if we could get it running. I think it was a fantastic idea. To keep me busy, I’d get on yahoo and then go about and click and click, till I end up on sites I never knew about. The same friend from the night before texted me and we replied messages that really shouldn’t be said by anyone. I cannot and will not repeat what we wrote to each other. It was just banter between to grown adults. But wow. I had to take a shower after the things we wrote. I finished my last beer and took myself to bed.

Wednesday:

I woke up to finish off my laundry. I started my morning with a cup of coffee and watching some HBO documentary about the McCain/Obama election. It was ‘wow’. There are some people in the south who are still living in the wrong era. It was a great documentary. I don’t know where I sit on the fence. I don’t know if I am more republican, democrat, or liberal. I agree on views on each side. But to watch these people who support McCain, they are the worst people I have ever seen. I voted for Obama. Do I think I doomed the country for what i did? No. I just agree with his views on things more than McCain’s views. This isn’t a blog about my political views. This is a blog about how I spent my vacation. Sorry about going off track. After the show, I went to Bob Evans. This was my second time leaving the house.  I was sort of forced into going. I mean, it’s Bob Effin’ Evans! I can’t pass that up. Besides, it was my mom’s turn to buy.  I get home and play some video games. I made some lunch and got an email from work. Oh, look more questions. I love work. He agreed I have a problem. But it’s cool. It’s what I love. I finish up another project. I found myself sweeping and cleaning the laundry room. I have to say, it is wonderful to not have the lazy laundriers living next door anymore. Full freedom!  I browse the web again and come across a movie called, “Exam”. It’s on Indemand!? Let me look! Awesome! I’m watching this. It was a good movie. The reviews I read were split. Some hated it. Some loved it. Don’t care what they think. People hated, “Snakes on A Plane“. Some people don’t know what a good movie is. Watch it.

8 people are trying out for this amazing job. They enter a room with no windows. The room has 8 desks. On each desk is a sheet of paper and a pencil. They are give a few rules. They are told to answer the question. The turn over the sheet of paper and it’s blank.

That is the beginning of my vacation. I’ll post the rest shortly.