Five Dollars is Five Dollars.

When you’re a kid, money is important. A shiny quarter is like a million bucks to you. I am going to tell you a story about money. It takes place decades ago. I don’t know the exact year but I am going to think it took place in probably 1990. It is a story about money, family, and failing to hold up to a promise. I should probably pay up and accept the fact but I am stubborn and will not fold.

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My New Tattoo

After years of saying I would get another tattoo, I finally got the courage to get it done. This is my second tattoo. I like it. I think it turned out nicely. While it will mean nothing to you, it does mean a lot to me. There is a story behind it. Unlike my first tattoo, which is of a scorpion, this one has meaning and not just a tattoo of one of my favorite animals. Let me show the tattoo to you and tell you the eerie story behind it because what good is just showing it to you without actually telling a story.

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I got a secret

It’s funny. This entry was going to be about the temperature in my apartment and it became something else. I decided to confess something. It’s been eating away at me for years. It’s something I never told my sister. Who knows what she’ll do when she finds out. I’ve kept this from her for many years. Now I am telling you.

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I will never forgive you.

It is time for me to get this off my chest. For a long time, I have struggled with the decision of venting about this life changing ordeal. Today is the day I finally express my anger over something that has irked me for a long time. Please don’t be mad at me. You should have seen this coming.

I have been blessed with having a large family. Such a large family brought a hodge podge of opportunities to the table. Like every family, we fought. We fought a lot. At least with so many kids in the family, there was so few times that it was all against one. We teamed up and would pick fights with each others. Fun times. Now that we are older, the fighting is over. No more pouring milk on the other’s head (thanks Erin), no more getting handcuffed to a piano, and no more getting coxed into smelling a dogs ace after losing a game of Jenga. Like I said, we had some pretty wild adventures.

But I am still fuming over an incident that occurred over 15 years ago. I still cannot forgive her for doing this to me. I don’t think I ever will. She broke my heart and since that day, a little black rain cloud hover over me. I am reminded of it each time I watch Pirate of the Caribbean. She will never be forgiven for the crime she thought of only as, ‘harmless’. Harmless my ace!

I should explain the story. Before I got suckered into working my real job, I had a job that every kid had when they were younger. No. I am not talking about being a paperboy. I did have that job in some degree. My brother would talk us into helping him. Did we ever get anything for it? Nope. Even my oldest brother finally paid his dues for having my sister and myself clean his car. With interest I might add. We banked on that one! The job I am referring to is running a lemonade stand. It was a magical and money making business. We had signs. We flagged down cars. We were young. Being young and being cute, whipper-snappers, you can make money just by standing there. Pull some Oliver Twist dialogue and they’ll empty their pockets to fill yours. We didn’t charge much. Probably a quarter or something. But a quarter is a million bucks to a kid.

We were out there day and night. While we made money, our mom was the chef behind the lemonade. She made a great cup of lemonade. When we finally closed shopped, we amassed a sum of 65+ dollars plus change. Not bad for a lemonade stand. While I am happy for the kids now a days doing the same thing, it angers me in some way. The news stations race to their home to interview them. They talk about how they are little entrepreneurs.  How much money did these kids bring in? Barely twenty bucks. How is that impressive!? We made over 60 dollars doing this. We ran a great business. We were cute, we were young, and we were eager to roll around in money a la, Demi Moore’s, “Indecent Proposal”. As the money rolled in, we thought about what we’ll buy with it. What does a pair of kids buy with money they earned themselves?

You buy Legos. You don’t buy some crappy Space set. You don’t get a town set. You go all out and get a Pirate set. Oh, it was an amazing set. The set  was called “El Dorado Fortress“. It has so many amazing features. It has a jail cell. It has a pulley to bring in the treasures they gained. There are two cannons for the wars we put them in. They even added a small, pirate row boat.  Deny it all you want but this was the greatest set they ever came out with it. Wait… They greatest set they ever came out with is the Star Wars AT-AT. That thing is pretty BA. I need to get it. I just need more money. Will it be wrong to run a lemonade stand at my age?

Our family loved the legos. We would play with them all the time. We would build whatever our little minds could come up with. We made houses, theatres, and even made an airport. It would have been a cool airport but my brother broke it into pieces. He did that a lot. After years of holding on to legos, I had to le-go of them (ha ha). It was time I put away the childish toys and moved on to adulthood. The last sets I purchased was the “Western Set”. I was determined to collect them all. I was ready to create a story from the legos I owned. But I wasn’t thinking at the time when I took the Legos to the curb to be hauled away with the rest of the trash. It was the last time I owned a lego set. Today, I don only a Lego Boba Fett keychain. He’s lost his legs, an arm, and the decal on it has rubbed off.

With the great purchase of the “El Dorado Fortress”, my sister and I dove right in. We retreated to the basement to construct the set. We didn’t stop till all 506 pieces were put together to create the second greatest Lego set ever to grace this planet. But shortly after our purchase, things went south. It was then when the love for my younger, potato loving sister dimmed. She took it upon herself to put her grubbing little hands on this masterpiece and while she tinkered with it, she lost a major piece. It was a piece, that without it made the fortress nothing more than a wee little shanty. What piece am I talking about? She lost the captain’s hat. The captain’s hat! Every captain needs his hat. Since the hat was missing, he wasn’t a captain anymore. He looked just like all the other Lego people. How did she lose it!? We didn’t even have this set for a week before we lost a part to it. Just look at the photo. That hat just screams, “I’m an effin’ bad ass.”

Without the hat, he’s no one. She ripped away his rank and made him just a low man on the totem pole. It was a devastating event in my life. You can roll your eyes and say that it’s only a piece of plastic. Try and convince me that there are far more important things that I should be grateful for. All I can reply to that is a giant, “suck one.” You don’t get it. You don’t understand how hurt I felt when this piece went missing. You don’t know how hard I cried when I couldn’t call him the captain anymore. We were forced to call him, “that guy with the missing hat.”

I love my sister but I cannot forgive her for killing a little piece of me. This is more than just a plastic hat. It was a major purchase. It was something my sister and I worked very hard for. We sold the lemonade to everyone. We accepted their brochures about finding Christ. We did whatever we would to fill our piggy bank. Each night we counted the money twice. We would talk for hours about how rich we were. We skimmed the Lego magazine. We fought over which one to buy. Once we spotted this fortress, we knew what we wanted. It wasn’t the cannons that excited us. The jail cell was cool but that didn’t put a stamp of approval on this set. It all boiled down to the hat. The hat sealed the deal. It was the deciding factor we both agreed on that made up hand over our hard earned money over to the Wal-Mart employee. Just looking at the box was orgasmic. We dreamt about all the things we would do and the stories we would create. It was going to be awesome. But once the hat went missing, the dream was dead. It was a failed attempt to try and showcase our achievement with money.

This is the first time my sister is hearing about this. I am sorry that I had to come out with my anger via the internet but it had to be done. I had to let her and everyone else know that she killed a part of me when she lost the hat. A piece of me was lost that day. I still wonder if the hat is still at the house. I wonder if it still is waiting to be found, to be reunited with the captain. But alas, that will never happen. The fortress is gone. The Lego’s are now nothing but a memory. Thank you, little sister. Thank you for ruining my life. I will never forgive you.



Explain these to me.

People say dreams have deep meanings. I know some do and I know some just mean nothing. Why not you be the judge and let me know if these might mean anything. Take a stab.

Dream 1: The Pancakes (Sorry. I had just woken up. I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget this dream)

Dream 2: The Car Ride

My sister, Erin and I are reviewing movies using Sprite cans. One of the movies we are reviewing stars, Robert DeNiro and he’s chasing himself. There is some software for reviewers to enter in all kinds of information, such as, actors, production company, producers. It’s kind of like IMDB. Then there is a car following me. It looks pretty beat up. Ben Affleck is in the car with two kids. He looks fat. I start yelling at him about auditions for Hollywood Land. Okay, so now we are at church and I am walking in, smoking. My oldest brother is yelling at me about changing it to, Santa Monica. Now I am in a car with my sister and my brother. I am lying under some blankets. I get a text from someone named, Snowy. There are from the area code, 416. I asked my sister where 416 is from and she says, “it’s one above me.” Now I see Samuel L. Jackson rehearsing for Snakes On A Plane. It cuts to a new scene. Then to a new one with some military people. Some gal is leaving but a guy stops her. Erin speaks up saying he died in some movie, (forgot what movie she said) But the guy was looking at a shooting star and died. Someone called Target. They are all, “We’re by Hy-vee. No, wait! We’re over here!” So I decide to run and meet up with these Target people. I was really, running fast. I am then at this road and it is covered in grilled cheese sandwiches, lined up all nice like on the side f the road. I grab and eat two of them I see a lake of twigs in front of me I run over those and now I am in front of Blockbuster Video. Then I scream, “Eff me! I forgot my car” I am looking around for someone that knows me. I see this guy behind the counter, but what was odd is like in my head (real head, not dream me) I am trying to think of where I know him) We say hello to each other. I see Xbox systems laying about. I never make it home.

Dream 3: LeVar Burton (this is all I wrote down. I have no idea what it really means)

Levar Burton is bartender. Land in area. I hide
in garage. Jump in old car start without keys act like I did. Big hill.
Tanks army baseball hail. I hide under cement.

Dream 4: Work
At store buying smokes. Try to sell to old classmates. Sam and Greg My sister buys them from me. I put on fishbowl shoes. Made
of glass.

At store buying running shorts with sister. A scrabble hat is in a big
sink. Guy asks me a question. I tell him ” just mad cause Quincy Adams
isn’t listed. ” guy agrees.

At work trying to talk to grind that came in. Keep helping customers.
Lady orders BBQ pork, augs, idk what else. Manager calls me over.  Gal at work
brings lots of BBQ brisket.  I make a joke.  Brittany or maybe joanna tell me they arent going on catering.
Matt there.  idk why but an old grade school classmate is. Sitting with guy. ANC kid. Mike missing
thumb.  Works at crab pier. Phil worked at car dealership. Called queen. Other
kid there not sure who. Talked about Phil. I keep picturing Andrew and I was
thinking about a yahoo message I got from him. Howie?

At work. Sock is ripped in back. I notice in cooker. I worry
if customers noticed. I see a male customer (tall kid, slim, glasses,
mustache). A guy customer yells at him, “you’re a girl doing a mans
job!”. I am wearing a wife beater cause my chef coat is over by
shoulder. Ringing up salad. It’s weighed but I don’t have code to ring
up. I call ext. 135 but takes a few tries. I call him but someone else
is on it too. I tell him to wait while I use another phone (one phone
looks like thermometer).  he hangs up. I wave him over, ask for code but
says not to worry.  Just give it to her for free. She appears to be a
regular by way they said hello. I am voiding it. Reg tape gets jacked
up. She says shell be in July 4th weekend. Reg tape has a wanted pic of
George wright but photo is of a girl.

Dream 5: Monster

Grandpa top of head cut off. House blows up.

Alien invasion. Wooden bridge- people die horribly. Tossed around.
Try to stop. Turn key, powerful wind turbine starts and chops them up.

Monster created bit by bit. Guy killed. And killer attaches guys bones
to his body make stronger.

Dream 6: Abortion

High profile people kidnapped.They are tortured for what they do or supported. Become dolls. Man does abortion. Pulled through shards of woods with wires.

I felt like sharing these.