06/30/10

Cream Corn Taco Shake

Or, “I’m Not From The God Damn South Shake

 

During a yahoo chat one night, a few of my friends helped create a shake. The shake includes a few of my favorite things. While I was on a 6 months hiatus from drinking (not by choice), we all waited patiently till I could finally make and drink the shake. With help from my sister, we shot the video one early evening. That night, after drinking some of the shake, I felt sick to my stomach. Folks, do not ever make a shake like this. Even if it sounds good. It isn’t. Some things should never be meshed together. Ever.

I could have swore that I posted the video on my site already but after a bit of checking, I hadn’t. I tried to recreate the event again with another shake but the originality and love just didn’t shine through.

Please enjoy the video. I enjoyed the shake.

04/24/10

The Brown Bottle Blues

Everyone needs to loosen up now and then and when I choose to, I like to have people over for a few drinks. It’s never just a few. But being the host isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Sure it has its advantages but you’re going to have the ying to its’ yang. Last Fourth of July, I wanted to relax at home and have a few. While I left the house, the neighbors were having their own little party and invited me over. I declined-at first. Sometime during the night, and after having a few in me, I took them up on the invite and made my way over. It was really my first time ever talking to these people. I have seen them in passing, giving friendly hello’s and waves, but never a full fledged conversation.

That night is a blur. I remember little things here and there. I stuck my face into a sparkler, called people (one of those people being work), and sent many texts. I don’t recall what I said to anyone. I ended up on my bed that following morning. A pile of vomit was spread across the floor and the clothes I was wearing were covered in the same foul human projectile. I always say that I will never drink if I work the next day. That rule has slipped. I’ll drink, usually having two of three. But never the amount I had that night. Heck, I don’t even know how much I had. But I woke up on time for work. I felt horrible. I was pretty worthless that day.

Is that something we think about before we drink the night away? While were kicking back bottles and slamming shots, do we ever for one second think to ourselves, I love feeling like shit in the morning. Let’s get hammered. I am usually the one who thinks ahead on everything. Like this very post. As I write this, I wonder how my mother is going to react. Is she going to be shaking her head in disbelief? Will she question me later, asking why I drink? But all her questions and her disbelief’s are washed away when she says four little words, You’re a big boy.

1) The Mess:

The worst part of being a host of a party is cleaning up. The night does usually start off with people being good. They toss the empty bottles in the trash can or if you’re Earth friendly, the recycle bin. As the night gets later and the guests get wilder, the bottles begin to accumulate all over. Bottle caps become weapons of choice. You’ll be cleaning those up all morning. Then four months down the road, you’ll find some that you missed. You’ll have spills that drunken [censored] try to clean up but they only make it worse. Not only do you have a giant wet spot on the carpet, you’ll have a roll of paper towels scrunched up in a ball somewhere in the same room.

Sure the mess in the photo isn’t epic compared to many other parties but it’s just an example of what a host has to deal with the next      morning. Clean up was easy. I’ve had some pretty wild parties in my day. But as I get older and not much wiser, those days are long gone.

2) Guests:

I have one rule to hosting a party. No one under the age of 21 allowed. I rather not take my chances if unexpected guests in blue, carrying nightsticks walk on in. Surprisingly, I was at a party once where this did happen. I was over 21, so I wasn’t worried. Anyway, the police showed up and questioned some people about their ages. Of course, they lied and the police didn’t buy it. That was it. They left but before they left, one turned around and said, “you might want to light some incense. We can smell it outside the door.” That was a pretty close call. Why they didn’t call in the paddy wagons is beyond me. Aside from age, I like to have small parties. At max, 8 people is a good number. Anymore and I take the chance of pissing off Carlos. Let me know if you’re bringing someone else along. I don’t have a large apartment and stuffing people up in it, is a fire hazard. Not to mention, crowded and an all around headache.

3) Puking: I always have a bottle in hand. As the night carries on, I find myself sitting on the bathroom floor, pleading with the toilet and to God to just let me die. I am wise enough to know when I need to puke. A few times I have had friends vomit all over my floor. And an FYI to everyone. Jell-o shots do not come out of carpet. I’ve tried. Eff that girl. I blame her for keeping me from getting my deposit back. So I am in the bathroom hunched over the porcelain god. This carries on for sometime. I’ve never timed myself as to how long I spend in there but I’ve been told it’s hours. I’ll crawl out, lie on the floor and then crawl back in to empty the poison from my stomach once more. I usually have a wingman helping me out. “There, there.” They will say. I am never drinking again. Really. I mean it this time. No more.

4) The Next Morning:

We’ve all had a hangover. It’s not fun. I don’t get them often and when I do, I feel lazy. I’ll wake up and look at the mess. Eff that. I’ll clean up later. So I step outside for a quick smoke. Even smoking has a gross out factor. How much did I smoke last night? Cause taking that morning smoke after a night of partying, you feel as if you smoked pack after pack all night. Beer is really the culpret in all of this. I’ve had many nghts where I drank rum and have woken up feeling fine. Not always but a majority of the time, rum doesn’t effect me. I’ll finally motivate myself to clean up the mess. I’m tried, hungover, and really just want to sit and not do a darn thing. Aside from the headache, I’m also treated to a bowel movement that reminds me not to drink. I don’t know what worse. The puking or the ED.

I guess what I am saying it, drinking sucks. I don’t know anything good that ever comes out of it. The first few beers are relaxing but after that, everything goes south. Guess I am getting to old for this partying thing. Crap gets expensive. Not only the beer but what can come out of drinking the beer. Stupid decisions and bad choices. But I know myself. Next weekend or the one following that, I’ll repeat this all over again. Curse me for being weak.

04/2/10

March Stats – Part I: Drinks

I was surprised as how fast March flew by. No matter. I still logged it all. Nothing has changed. I still drink way too much coffee, I drink far too much soda, and never enough juice, water or milk. I thought that maybe if I keep logging all I eat and drink, I’ll notice some bad patterns and put a change to them. Sadly, that didn’t happen.

Coffee:

I had a total of, 51 coffees. That’s a little more than last month. It stillisn’t close to what I first drank this year. So I can at least be happy that my coffee intake has went down. Of those 51,

  • 12 belonged to Starbucks. Eff yeah! That’s half of what I drank last month and less than what I drank in January. I am not spending so much now on this rich man’s coffee. I only indulged myself with 2 on one day. Doing the same math as before, I only spent $25.80.
  • 5 of those coffee’s are from work. I have drank less than last month as well. I have treated myself to more juice later on in the morning. It’s not that I am trying to stop drinking coffee in the morning, it’s more or less having no time to grab me a cup.
  • I visited Bob Evan’s only one last month. Shocking! It’s almost my third home. I still went and still had my coffee. I had a total of 2 1/2 coffee’s. The half is them topping it off. You know how hard it is to keep track of that [censored] when they walk over and refill my cup? I have to work math into my log.

Now was that 3/4 full or 2/3? Dammit, Lucas! Stop refilling my cup! I have stats to track!

  • The rest of my coffee is all at home. I went grocery shopping (something I never do) and picked up some Foldger’s coffee instant brew. I boil my water and dip the bag for 15 seconds and then I have myself a nice, hot cup of coffee. It isn’t starbucks but I spent less than 6 bucks on the package. The Foldger’s coffee amounted to, 31 1/2 cups. The 1/2 was me being a fiend. I boiled more water and got myself a little more life out of my coffee bag. It wasn’t great but it didn’t suck. Will I do it again? Probably not.

Soda:

I will say it again. I drink way too much soda. Way, way too much! For the month of March, I had a total of, 56 sodas. I shall break it down for ya now.

  • 50 of those were Coke
    • 28 were had at work on break.
      • Out of 16 days, 11 of those days consisted of having 2 on break.
    • 2 20 oz. plastic bottles of coke
    • 11 cans of coke
    • 2 large McDonald’s cokes
    • 1 large coke from Burger King
    • 4 were from restaurants
      • 1 was from Perkins
      • 2 were from Outback Steakhouse
      • 1 was from “The Clean Place”
    • 1 30z serving of coke
    • 1 10oz. serving of coke
  • 5 of those were Pepsi
    • 1 Pepsi was from Philly Time
    • 1 was a large glass of Pepsi at home
    • 1 was from Ming Garden
    • 1 was from Pizza Street
    • 1 was from Margaritas
  • 1 was a can of Sprite
    • When I moved in to my new apartment, they gave me a gift basket. This was inside. I normally don’t drink Sprite unless I feel ill (which is never), but I had no coke at the house. Plus, I was really thirsty and water just won’t cut it.

Juice: I drink a lot more juice than I used to. Last month I had 18 juices. This month I had 15. Okay. So I drank less than last month. Hell, I even drank more soda this month too. Not gonna lie. I don’t check or even try to improve what I eat or drink. I am a stubborn Es Oh Bee.

  • 5 of the juices were Minute Maid Cranberry Apple Raspberry.
  • 5 were Orange Juices
    • 2 were 15oz servings of Minute Maid Orange Juice
    • 2 were 10oz servings of Minute Maid Orange Juice
    • 1 was a large glass of orange juice from Bob Evans
  • 1 was a Minute Maid  Cranberry Grape Juice
  • 4 were 10oz servings of Minute Maid Mixed Berry Juice

Alcohol: I was pretty sure I didn’t drink that much this month. I mean I only really had people over 3 times this month. I haven’t drank alone. I didn’t even go out to the bar and drink. Somehow and I don’t know how but I had:

  • 33 beers
    • 32 were original Bud Lights
    • 1 was a Bud Light Lime
  • 5 shots of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
  • 1 was an angry sip of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
    • Video will come soon. A co-worker and I got a little too loud drinking away the night. I upset Carlos.
  • 1 shot of Plum Saki

Milk: I have had only 1 glass of milk so far this year. I am not including the hot chocolate I drank. Though there is milk in it, it’s not really milk anymore. This month was different. This month, I had a total of 6 servings of milk. Below are my findings.

  • 1 1/2 pint of Anderson/Erickson chocolate milk
  • 4 pint sizes of Belfonte Chocolate Milk
  • 1 large glass of Hy-vee Vitamin D white milk
    • I also had a very tiny sip of said milk. I had an inkling it was about to spoil. I had to test it first. It was bad. :(

Etc… Below are the rest of the items I drank this month that haven’t yet made it to the top of the drink chain. Once I believe I begin to drink more of a certain item, I will add it to the count sheet. For now, they will stay in the etc… section of the stats.

  • 1/3 glass of water at a local restaurant (Margaritas)
  • 2 mugs of home made Hot Chocolate
  • 10 servings of lemonade
    • 4 of them were glasses of Kool-aid lemonade
    • 3 of them were glasses of Kool-aid pink lemonade
    • 2 of them were 10oz servings of Minute Maid Lemonade
    • 1 of them was a 12oz can of Country Time Pink Lemonade

Now I know the amount of lemonade I drank this month surpasses the amount of milk I drank but I feel this is just a fluke. I swiped some packages of kool-aid from my mother’s house. I don’t see my doing this much. But if by chance I do get courageous again and swipe more, then yes, I will add lemonade to the above stats. I plan on posting my food stats tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

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03/3/10

February Stats – Part I: Drinks

Before I start this post, I need to give myself a pat on the back. I am still going strong on logging in everything I have ate and drank so far. Like January, I am going to post everything I drank and then within a day or two, I will post what I ate.

Here is February. It’s the shortest of all the months. Black history month, Groundhog Day and Valentine’s day all fall in it. I don’t celebrate any of them. I wonder if I ate and drank more this month than last month.

Like before, I’ll post in the same format.

For this month, I had a total of 42 coffees. Let me break it down for you:

  • Starbucks: 26 total. Each coffee cost me about, $2.15. This month I spent, $55.90 on Starbucks coffee. Out of the 28 days, 1 day consisted of 2 coffees. Totaling last month and this month, I have drank, 51 Starbucks coffees and spent a whopping, $109.65! Someone needs to slow down on this coffee. I tried. Really, I did. I just like coffee. If I keep this trend up, drinking roughly 26 coffees a month, I could be looking at a total expense of:

26 coffees x 12 months = 312 coffees

312 coffees x $2.19 = $683.28

If I refer back to this previous post, my total amount is cut in half. Good, yes?

  • With my schedule being changed, I don’t drink my quick morning coffee as often. Compared to last month, I drank 11 less coffees. This month I had, 8 small coffees and 2 large coffees.  The sizes are still the same. The small cups are 8 oz. and the large coffees are 20 oz. servings.
  • I visited Bob Evans twice this month. I had a total of, 5 coffees. That is 8 less than last month. It seems about right. I visited Bob Evans 4 times month. I average about 3 coffees per visit.
  • I had lunch twice at, “Philly Time”. Usually going there means I will get a coffee at Latte Land. I had a total of 2 coffees from Latte Land this month.

Soda:

I told a friend I would try cutting back on soda this month. I don’t think I did. I cannot recall without looking what I drank last month soda wise, but I am sure I either drank about the same, if not more. I had a total of:

  • 43 1/2 cokes
    • 18 1/2 of those are from work. They are 20 oz servings. The half serving is when a co-worker knocked my drink over, losing about 1/2 of it. Out of the 14 days I had these size cokes, 5 days consisted of having 2 cups worth.
    • 20 canned cokes
    • 3 of the 43 were the 20 oz plastic coke bottles
    • 1 was a medium size drink from Burger King.
    • The last coke was when I went to the movies. I saw, Legion. I do not recommend it. It was horrible. I had 1 serving.
  • 8 pepsi’s
    • 1 Pepsi was from Subway.
    • 2 of these were from, Ming Garden. It’s a chinese place I frequent often.
    • 1 was from a local  Italian restaurant.
    • 2 were from my sandwich place, “Philly Time”
    • 1 was from my monthly (sometimes bi-monthly) visit to “Popeye’s Chicken”
    • The last Pepsi I had this month was from, Pizza Street.

That is all the soda I drink this month. That is a total of, 51 sodas. Compared to last month, I drank less. (62 sodas last month) I guess I did improve on something. Kudos to me!

Back to my favorite drink of all, alcohol. Let’s break this down for you. Checking last month, I had 30 Bud Light beers. This month I had, 29. Lets check out the bud lights I had:

  • 25 of those were bottles. My friend and I decided that the 5th beer I drank on, 2/9 was gay. I don’t know how a beer can be gay but it is. That is a long story to explain why we said it. I take many notes about the food and drinks I consume.
  • 2 were Bud Light cans. I am not a fan of the can. I’ll drink it from tap and I’ll drink it from a bottle. I just cannot get to liking the taste from a can. It still has that metal taste. Remind me to tell you an event that happened this night.
  • The last 2 beers I had this month, were from “54 Street” They were both the tall beers. Compared to last months 11, I am slacking. It would be more but I haven’t visited it as often as I like to. I need to get back to doing that. Maybe this weekend. Text me to remind me, please.

Ending off my alcoholic intake for this month was my lack of Rum drinking. Last month I had 36, this month I had only,

  • 8 shots of Captain Morgan Rum. 2 of those shots were for, Matt. He asked and I said okay. They were nightcaps. They did the job. I sleep like a baby.

Aside from all the crap I drink above, I do drink juice. Sure the juices are full of sugar but they still have to be better than all the soda and alcohol I drink. Breaking  down the 18 juices I drank for you, yo:

  • 2 juices were Orange Juices from Bob Evans.
  • 1 of the 18 juices was a Capri Sun. The flavor of the said juice was, Fruit Dive
  • I had a total of 15 minute maid juices.I will say this. I am in love with this juice.

    Minute Maid Orange Juice

    • 1 orange juice
    • 5 cranberry apple raspberry juice
    • 9 cranberry grape juice

Finishing off my list,

  • 1 big ass cup of lemonade from Chic-Fil-A
  • 1 taste test of, sweetened black iced tea (4 oz.)
  • 1 mug of homemade Hot Chocolate
  • 1 glass of 2% white milk (Belfonte)

I don’t see much of a difference in what I drank. Do I think I will ever cut back on coffee? (I’ve already had two so far this month) Will I tone down on the alcohol I drink? Will I drink more water? Only time will tell. There is still ten months left this year. Within the next few days, I will post the food stats.


02/1/10

January Stats – Part 1: Drinks

January has come and went. Went by pretty fast in my opinion. After logging everything I have ate or drank so far, you know, I am not the healthiest person. I guess I take the “I can eat whatever and not gain weight” theory to the extreme. But nothing has happened yet. Maybe in a few years it’ll all catch up to me. Until then, eff the future me.

I am still debating on how I want to do this. Am I just going to post the stats? Do I explain the reasoning behind the meal? Maybe I can tell a funny anecdote? I don’t know. I am just pumped that I actually accomplished this. Hope I can continue the whole year. That will be awesome! Give me some ideas on how I should do this. Email me or drop me a comment.

For the first month, I had a total of 61 coffees. Let me break it down for you:

  • Starbucks: 25 total. Each of them cost $2.15. Just this month alone, I spent a grand total of, $53.75 on the rich mans coffee. Out of 25 days, 3 of those days consisted of 2 coffees.
  • I usually get to work and grab a coffee to perk me up. Sometimes I will grab a small cup and other times I will grab a larger one. That total came to 21 cups. (16 small cups. Those are 8 oz. Out of those 16 cups, 1 was a decaf. I hate decaf.  The other 5 are larger ones. Those are 20 oz.)
  • I make a trip to Bob Evans weekly. Sometimes, bi-weekly. With the cups being filled for me, this coffee came to a total of 13.
  • We had a holiday party for the employees at our store. I couldn’t drink since I worked early and was driving. The coffee was terrible. Probably worse than the decaf. I had 1 of those.
  • Lastly, I had a Latte Land coffee. It’s right next to a place I grab lunch at. It’s like Starbucks but not as good. I only had 1 of those.

I am a soda drinker. I mentioned that in my previous blog. For the month of January, I had 52 servings of coke. Again, time to break it down:

  • 17 of those servings were canned. Just normal coke. Sometimes I drank it alone, other times I drank it while I was indulging in the rum.
  • I drink way too much soda at work. I ended up having 26 servings of coke at work. Those are 20 oz. servings. 7 of those days, I had a total of 2.
  • 5 of those consisted of fast food meals. (Popeye’s, McDonald’s X 2, Subway, Hardee’s)
  • I had 1 coke at the stores holiday party.

I like Pepsi as well. I had a total of, 10 Pepsi’s. Break it down, yo:

  • I visited two different fast food establishments. One I visited twice. I can account for 3 servings of the 10.
  • I had 1 2o oz. bottle of Pepsi.
  • The last 6 were given to the fantastic, Pepsi Throwback.

I am a beer drinker. Though I have a few favorites, Bud Light is my choice. Maybe this was a slow month. I don’t know. I thought I drank more than what I have wrote down. Below I’ll list my alcohol intake. Not just beer, but also Rum. For the month of January, I had a total of 30 Bud Lights.

  • 19 of those were bottles of bud light.
  • I like to frequent a local establishment after work. It’s usually a small group of us. We talk about work and life. We’ll eat and drink. I ended up having, 11 beers there. Out of the 11 mentioned,  9 were tall beers. The other 2 were smaller mugs.
  • Not only did I treat my liver to an early grave with beer, I ruined it with 36 shots of Captain Morgan.
  • I also snagged 1 glass of wine. The wine is from my cousins vineyard.

I do try to drink at least something healthy. We finally upgraded our selections of juices at work. With the juices I drink at work and the juices I get at my Bob Evan’s visit, I ended with a total of, 20 juices.

  • 4 of those juices were Orange Juices from Bob Evans.
  • 3 of them were small 1/2 size pints of Orange Juice made by AE.
  • I had 2 20 oz. servings of Minute Maid Orange Juices.
  • 5 of the said juice were Minute Maid’s Cranberry Apple Raspberry Juice. (15.2 oz)
  • The last 6 juices were also Minute Maid. They were a Cranberry Grape Juice. (15.2 oz)

Finishing off my list is,

  • 1 4 oz. serving of French Vanilla Cappuccino
  • 1 10 oz. glass of Minute Maid Lemonade
  • 1 big ass cup of freshly made lemonade from Chic-Fil-A
  • 13 glasses of the highly nutritious thing called, water.

So there you go, folks! That is a compiled list of everything I drink for the entire month. The food blog is going to take quite some time. I don’t know if you even find this interesting. I know I do. It serves no purpose. Just for fun. I may try to cut back on Starbucks. I was determined to not get one today. Really, I was. I was on my way home. I came to a 4 way stop. If I went right, I could get home. If I kept going straight, I could go to Starbucks. My will was weak and I got my large coffee. I felt bad. But after that first sip, I knew I made the right decision.