Cream Corn Taco Shake

Or, “I’m Not From The God Damn South Shake

 

During a yahoo chat one night, a few of my friends helped create a shake. The shake includes a few of my favorite things. While I was on a 6 months hiatus from drinking (not by choice), we all waited patiently till I could finally make and drink the shake. With help from my sister, we shot the video one early evening. That night, after drinking some of the shake, I felt sick to my stomach. Folks, do not ever make a shake like this. Even if it sounds good. It isn’t. Some things should never be meshed together. Ever.

I could have swore that I posted the video on my site already but after a bit of checking, I hadn’t. I tried to recreate the event again with another shake but the originality and love just didn’t shine through.

Please enjoy the video. I enjoyed the shake.

May Stats – Part I: Drinks

The month began like any other. I drink what I wanted. I ate what ever I felt like. God gave me this amazing gift of staying fit. Deal with it, mofo’s. I had a couple of attacks last month. I was determined to figure out what was causing it. I ruled out work. At first, I thought it was. Work is effin’ crazy. It’s a damn soap opera around there. I’ll save that for another post. Hell, with the amount of hoopla that goes on daily, I’d probably need an entire blog dedicated just to everyone’s antics.

Aside from work, I was still unsure. Could it be the food I eat? Could it be cause I smoke? Maybe the amount of soda I drink? I do drink a lot of soda. Tallying up January to April, I had a total of 222 servings.

Holy Carbonated Drinks, Batman!

Sometime during the month, I thought I needed to fix that. I drop the soda for a week. I know. I would have gone longer but I didn’t. I had no real excuse as to why I did. I wasn’t having caffeine withdrawls. Even when I went back to drinking it, I haven’t had any attacks. So I don’t think it’s the soda. But maybe, just maybe, it’s water. I don’t drink water. Read back at all the logs. I hardly drink it. But I have continued to drink it each night before bed. I take my pills and a small glass of water each night. If anything, I can say drinking water is keeping me alive. Let’s jump to the log. What crazy crap did I put in my body this time?

Coffee:

I still drink a lot of coffee. It’s the one drink I will never rid myself of. My mother drank coffee for years. She lost the taste of this delicious beverage when she was pregnant with my older sister. Thankfully, I am a man.  For the month of May, I had a total of 69 coffees. To break it down,

  • 3 of those were large Starbucks coffees. I don’t miss Starbucks. I am not trying to save money. I just don’t drink it as much. How is that for starting with about 26 the start of the year?
  • 57 of those were coffees I had at work. I grab a cup every morning I get to work. I usually cap it off at 2 but some days, I’ll get three. When I do, I break my rule of using public restrooms.
    • 54 of those were regular coffees. It’s an 8oz. serving.
    • 2 of those were dark roast coffees. I am not a fan of this kind of coffee. I don’t like strong coffee. It hurts my chest and it makes my heart race. Funny how I was able to drink 2 or 3 energy drinks in one day and feel nothing but give me a bold coffee and I feel like I want to die.
    • 1 was a decaf coffee. We were out of regular coffee at the moment. I wanted coffee and didn’t want to wait.
  • 4 of the coffees were my Foldger’s  I drink at home. I am out at the moment and haven’t restocked my cabinet. If I had, the amount would be more.
  • 5 of these were coffees at Bob Evans. It’s tough to measure these when they constantly come by and refill my cup. Look. I just took a sip. I don’t need a refill. I want to finish my cup, log it, and then you can refill it. But it’s okay I guess. I manage to estimate the amount I drink.

Soda:

At one point during the month, I wanted to see if soda was the reason for my attacks. I did go a week without soda and I didn’t have one. I fell off the wagon and went back to drinking soda. I still have yet to have an attack. They are still random. Hopefully I will eventually discover what’s causing it.

This month, I had a total of 44 sodas. Quite impressive I must say. To date, I have had a total of,  266 sodas. That’s everything, from cans of coke to the drinks I have at work.

  • 41 of the sodas I drank were Coke.
    • 17 of those Cokes, I had on break at work. Out of 15 days, I only went for a second cup on 1 day.
    • 19 of those were cans of Coke.
    • 2 of those were from McDonald’s
      • 1 was a large Coke
      • 1 was a medium Coke
    • 1 was a large Coke from Burger King
    • 2 were from the local movie theatre. I went to see, “Iron Man II” and “Shrek 4”.
  • The last 3 were Pepsi.
    • 1 was from Philly Time
    • 1 was from a trip to Popeye’s (the clean one)
    • 1 was from Pizza Street

Juice:

I drank just this month but not as much I did the month before. In the month of April, I had 10. This month, I had 5.

  • 4 of those Orange Juices.
    • 2 were had when I made my monthly (sometimes bi-monthly) trip to Bob Evans.
    • 2 were 16 oz. bottles of Minute Maid Orange Juices.
  • 1 was a 16 oz. bottle of Minute Maid Cranberry Grape Juice.

Alcohol:

I looked at my stats and it seems I drank more than I thought I did. Maybe it was the bottle or two I would enjoy after a drama filled day at work. No matter. I am not going to cut this out of my life. I like vices. Miami especially. This month, I had 49 liver ruining alcoholic beverages.

  • 4 of those were shots of Captain Morgan Lime. It’s new to me. I don’t know where I stand on it quite yet. I mean, I like it but it has a strong lime flavor. I guess it’ll get you to drink more without knowing how much it’s inebriating you.
  • 45 were Bud Lights.
    • 41 of those, were long neck bottles I had at home. Much more than last months, 23.
    • 4 of those, I had at 54 Street Bar & Grill. (or is it, Grill and Bar?)
      • 1 was a small mug.
      • 3 were tall mugs.

Milk:

I do enjoy a nice pint of milk every so often during a slow period of my morning. I get to work early. I work my ass off for 5 hours. After things slow down and I get cleaned up, I stroll over and get a milk and sometimes I’ll enjoy yogurt with it or get a bagel. There is no formula to it. It’s just a spur of the moment kind of thing. This month I had 10. It’s the same amount I had last month too.

  • 9 of them were chocolate.
  • 1 was a white milk.

I was a big milk drinker when I younger. I don’t crave it much any more. I tried white milk and it was nasty. I don’t know why. I loved milk. Chocolate milk is better. It isn’t great for you but anything that taste good is never good for you.

Water:

Did I really drink that much water this month!? Did water finally make the upper portion of my list of drinks I had the current month. You bet it did! This might be the reasoning behind the whole attack fiasco I go through. Since I have started to drink water on a regular basis, I haven’t had attacks. I have a water every night before bed. Let me tally up all the water I have had for the year. January through April, I had a total of 16 1/3 glasses of water. Last month, I had 25. I had more this month than I did the first 3 month of the year. Let me break it down for ya,

  • 7 of the waters I had at work on break.
  • 2 were had at the local “54” when I was Mcdrinking.
  • 16 were 8oz. tumbler size waters.

Etc…

Here is the rest of the items I drank this month. I was debating if I should have added my fruit drinks to the list. I mean, I did have a number of those. But I am not sure if it’ll become a regular thing for me. If it does, then it will move to the upper section of the food log.

  • 1 was a glass of pink lemonade I had at home.
  • 6 were fruit drinks.
    • 3 were Fruit Punch Powerades.
      • 2 were 32oz. sizes.
      • 1 was a 20oz. size.
    • 3 were Fruit Punch Gatorades.
      • 2 were 32oz. sizes.
      • 1 was a 20oz. size.

That ends the stats for what I drank last month. Sorry for delaying this stats. I would say I was busy but that would be a lie. I was lazy. Maybe a little busy. But I was more lazy than anything. I cannot say when the food stats will be posted but they will. Keep looking. Thanks for reading.

Kirk

The Brown Bottle Blues

Everyone needs to loosen up now and then and when I choose to, I like to have people over for a few drinks. It’s never just a few. But being the host isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Sure it has its advantages but you’re going to have the ying to its’ yang. Last Fourth of July, I wanted to relax at home and have a few. While I left the house, the neighbors were having their own little party and invited me over. I declined-at first. Sometime during the night, and after having a few in me, I took them up on the invite and made my way over. It was really my first time ever talking to these people. I have seen them in passing, giving friendly hello’s and waves, but never a full fledged conversation.

That night is a blur. I remember little things here and there. I stuck my face into a sparkler, called people (one of those people being work), and sent many texts. I don’t recall what I said to anyone. I ended up on my bed that following morning. A pile of vomit was spread across the floor and the clothes I was wearing were covered in the same foul human projectile. I always say that I will never drink if I work the next day. That rule has slipped. I’ll drink, usually having two of three. But never the amount I had that night. Heck, I don’t even know how much I had. But I woke up on time for work. I felt horrible. I was pretty worthless that day.

Is that something we think about before we drink the night away? While were kicking back bottles and slamming shots, do we ever for one second think to ourselves, I love feeling like shit in the morning. Let’s get hammered. I am usually the one who thinks ahead on everything. Like this very post. As I write this, I wonder how my mother is going to react. Is she going to be shaking her head in disbelief? Will she question me later, asking why I drink? But all her questions and her disbelief’s are washed away when she says four little words, You’re a big boy.

1) The Mess:

The worst part of being a host of a party is cleaning up. The night does usually start off with people being good. They toss the empty bottles in the trash can or if you’re Earth friendly, the recycle bin. As the night gets later and the guests get wilder, the bottles begin to accumulate all over. Bottle caps become weapons of choice. You’ll be cleaning those up all morning. Then four months down the road, you’ll find some that you missed. You’ll have spills that drunken [censored] try to clean up but they only make it worse. Not only do you have a giant wet spot on the carpet, you’ll have a roll of paper towels scrunched up in a ball somewhere in the same room.

Sure the mess in the photo isn’t epic compared to many other parties but it’s just an example of what a host has to deal with the next      morning. Clean up was easy. I’ve had some pretty wild parties in my day. But as I get older and not much wiser, those days are long gone.

2) Guests:

I have one rule to hosting a party. No one under the age of 21 allowed. I rather not take my chances if unexpected guests in blue, carrying nightsticks walk on in. Surprisingly, I was at a party once where this did happen. I was over 21, so I wasn’t worried. Anyway, the police showed up and questioned some people about their ages. Of course, they lied and the police didn’t buy it. That was it. They left but before they left, one turned around and said, “you might want to light some incense. We can smell it outside the door.” That was a pretty close call. Why they didn’t call in the paddy wagons is beyond me. Aside from age, I like to have small parties. At max, 8 people is a good number. Anymore and I take the chance of pissing off Carlos. Let me know if you’re bringing someone else along. I don’t have a large apartment and stuffing people up in it, is a fire hazard. Not to mention, crowded and an all around headache.

3) Puking: I always have a bottle in hand. As the night carries on, I find myself sitting on the bathroom floor, pleading with the toilet and to God to just let me die. I am wise enough to know when I need to puke. A few times I have had friends vomit all over my floor. And an FYI to everyone. Jell-o shots do not come out of carpet. I’ve tried. Eff that girl. I blame her for keeping me from getting my deposit back. So I am in the bathroom hunched over the porcelain god. This carries on for sometime. I’ve never timed myself as to how long I spend in there but I’ve been told it’s hours. I’ll crawl out, lie on the floor and then crawl back in to empty the poison from my stomach once more. I usually have a wingman helping me out. “There, there.” They will say. I am never drinking again. Really. I mean it this time. No more.

4) The Next Morning:

We’ve all had a hangover. It’s not fun. I don’t get them often and when I do, I feel lazy. I’ll wake up and look at the mess. Eff that. I’ll clean up later. So I step outside for a quick smoke. Even smoking has a gross out factor. How much did I smoke last night? Cause taking that morning smoke after a night of partying, you feel as if you smoked pack after pack all night. Beer is really the culpret in all of this. I’ve had many nghts where I drank rum and have woken up feeling fine. Not always but a majority of the time, rum doesn’t effect me. I’ll finally motivate myself to clean up the mess. I’m tried, hungover, and really just want to sit and not do a darn thing. Aside from the headache, I’m also treated to a bowel movement that reminds me not to drink. I don’t know what worse. The puking or the ED.

I guess what I am saying it, drinking sucks. I don’t know anything good that ever comes out of it. The first few beers are relaxing but after that, everything goes south. Guess I am getting to old for this partying thing. Crap gets expensive. Not only the beer but what can come out of drinking the beer. Stupid decisions and bad choices. But I know myself. Next weekend or the one following that, I’ll repeat this all over again. Curse me for being weak.

March Stats – Part I: Drinks

I was surprised as how fast March flew by. No matter. I still logged it all. Nothing has changed. I still drink way too much coffee, I drink far too much soda, and never enough juice, water or milk. I thought that maybe if I keep logging all I eat and drink, I’ll notice some bad patterns and put a change to them. Sadly, that didn’t happen.

Coffee:

I had a total of, 51 coffees. That’s a little more than last month. It stillisn’t close to what I first drank this year. So I can at least be happy that my coffee intake has went down. Of those 51,

  • 12 belonged to Starbucks. Eff yeah! That’s half of what I drank last month and less than what I drank in January. I am not spending so much now on this rich man’s coffee. I only indulged myself with 2 on one day. Doing the same math as before, I only spent $25.80.
  • 5 of those coffee’s are from work. I have drank less than last month as well. I have treated myself to more juice later on in the morning. It’s not that I am trying to stop drinking coffee in the morning, it’s more or less having no time to grab me a cup.
  • I visited Bob Evan’s only one last month. Shocking! It’s almost my third home. I still went and still had my coffee. I had a total of 2 1/2 coffee’s. The half is them topping it off. You know how hard it is to keep track of that [censored] when they walk over and refill my cup? I have to work math into my log.

Now was that 3/4 full or 2/3? Dammit, Lucas! Stop refilling my cup! I have stats to track!

  • The rest of my coffee is all at home. I went grocery shopping (something I never do) and picked up some Foldger’s coffee instant brew. I boil my water and dip the bag for 15 seconds and then I have myself a nice, hot cup of coffee. It isn’t starbucks but I spent less than 6 bucks on the package. The Foldger’s coffee amounted to, 31 1/2 cups. The 1/2 was me being a fiend. I boiled more water and got myself a little more life out of my coffee bag. It wasn’t great but it didn’t suck. Will I do it again? Probably not.

Soda:

I will say it again. I drink way too much soda. Way, way too much! For the month of March, I had a total of, 56 sodas. I shall break it down for ya now.

  • 50 of those were Coke
    • 28 were had at work on break.
      • Out of 16 days, 11 of those days consisted of having 2 on break.
    • 2 20 oz. plastic bottles of coke
    • 11 cans of coke
    • 2 large McDonald’s cokes
    • 1 large coke from Burger King
    • 4 were from restaurants
      • 1 was from Perkins
      • 2 were from Outback Steakhouse
      • 1 was from “The Clean Place”
    • 1 30z serving of coke
    • 1 10oz. serving of coke
  • 5 of those were Pepsi
    • 1 Pepsi was from Philly Time
    • 1 was a large glass of Pepsi at home
    • 1 was from Ming Garden
    • 1 was from Pizza Street
    • 1 was from Margaritas
  • 1 was a can of Sprite
    • When I moved in to my new apartment, they gave me a gift basket. This was inside. I normally don’t drink Sprite unless I feel ill (which is never), but I had no coke at the house. Plus, I was really thirsty and water just won’t cut it.

Juice: I drink a lot more juice than I used to. Last month I had 18 juices. This month I had 15. Okay. So I drank less than last month. Hell, I even drank more soda this month too. Not gonna lie. I don’t check or even try to improve what I eat or drink. I am a stubborn Es Oh Bee.

  • 5 of the juices were Minute Maid Cranberry Apple Raspberry.
  • 5 were Orange Juices
    • 2 were 15oz servings of Minute Maid Orange Juice
    • 2 were 10oz servings of Minute Maid Orange Juice
    • 1 was a large glass of orange juice from Bob Evans
  • 1 was a Minute Maid  Cranberry Grape Juice
  • 4 were 10oz servings of Minute Maid Mixed Berry Juice

Alcohol: I was pretty sure I didn’t drink that much this month. I mean I only really had people over 3 times this month. I haven’t drank alone. I didn’t even go out to the bar and drink. Somehow and I don’t know how but I had:

  • 33 beers
    • 32 were original Bud Lights
    • 1 was a Bud Light Lime
  • 5 shots of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
  • 1 was an angry sip of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
    • Video will come soon. A co-worker and I got a little too loud drinking away the night. I upset Carlos.
  • 1 shot of Plum Saki

Milk: I have had only 1 glass of milk so far this year. I am not including the hot chocolate I drank. Though there is milk in it, it’s not really milk anymore. This month was different. This month, I had a total of 6 servings of milk. Below are my findings.

  • 1 1/2 pint of Anderson/Erickson chocolate milk
  • 4 pint sizes of Belfonte Chocolate Milk
  • 1 large glass of Hy-vee Vitamin D white milk
    • I also had a very tiny sip of said milk. I had an inkling it was about to spoil. I had to test it first. It was bad. :(

Etc… Below are the rest of the items I drank this month that haven’t yet made it to the top of the drink chain. Once I believe I begin to drink more of a certain item, I will add it to the count sheet. For now, they will stay in the etc… section of the stats.

  • 1/3 glass of water at a local restaurant (Margaritas)
  • 2 mugs of home made Hot Chocolate
  • 10 servings of lemonade
    • 4 of them were glasses of Kool-aid lemonade
    • 3 of them were glasses of Kool-aid pink lemonade
    • 2 of them were 10oz servings of Minute Maid Lemonade
    • 1 of them was a 12oz can of Country Time Pink Lemonade

Now I know the amount of lemonade I drank this month surpasses the amount of milk I drank but I feel this is just a fluke. I swiped some packages of kool-aid from my mother’s house. I don’t see my doing this much. But if by chance I do get courageous again and swipe more, then yes, I will add lemonade to the above stats. I plan on posting my food stats tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

Do you think the amount of soda I drink is unhealthy?

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February Stats – Part I: Drinks

Before I start this post, I need to give myself a pat on the back. I am still going strong on logging in everything I have ate and drank so far. Like January, I am going to post everything I drank and then within a day or two, I will post what I ate.

Here is February. It’s the shortest of all the months. Black history month, Groundhog Day and Valentine’s day all fall in it. I don’t celebrate any of them. I wonder if I ate and drank more this month than last month.

Like before, I’ll post in the same format.

For this month, I had a total of 42 coffees. Let me break it down for you:

  • Starbucks: 26 total. Each coffee cost me about, $2.15. This month I spent, $55.90 on Starbucks coffee. Out of the 28 days, 1 day consisted of 2 coffees. Totaling last month and this month, I have drank, 51 Starbucks coffees and spent a whopping, $109.65! Someone needs to slow down on this coffee. I tried. Really, I did. I just like coffee. If I keep this trend up, drinking roughly 26 coffees a month, I could be looking at a total expense of:

26 coffees x 12 months = 312 coffees

312 coffees x $2.19 = $683.28

If I refer back to this previous post, my total amount is cut in half. Good, yes?

  • With my schedule being changed, I don’t drink my quick morning coffee as often. Compared to last month, I drank 11 less coffees. This month I had, 8 small coffees and 2 large coffees.  The sizes are still the same. The small cups are 8 oz. and the large coffees are 20 oz. servings.
  • I visited Bob Evans twice this month. I had a total of, 5 coffees. That is 8 less than last month. It seems about right. I visited Bob Evans 4 times month. I average about 3 coffees per visit.
  • I had lunch twice at, “Philly Time”. Usually going there means I will get a coffee at Latte Land. I had a total of 2 coffees from Latte Land this month.

Soda:

I told a friend I would try cutting back on soda this month. I don’t think I did. I cannot recall without looking what I drank last month soda wise, but I am sure I either drank about the same, if not more. I had a total of:

  • 43 1/2 cokes
    • 18 1/2 of those are from work. They are 20 oz servings. The half serving is when a co-worker knocked my drink over, losing about 1/2 of it. Out of the 14 days I had these size cokes, 5 days consisted of having 2 cups worth.
    • 20 canned cokes
    • 3 of the 43 were the 20 oz plastic coke bottles
    • 1 was a medium size drink from Burger King.
    • The last coke was when I went to the movies. I saw, Legion. I do not recommend it. It was horrible. I had 1 serving.
  • 8 pepsi’s
    • 1 Pepsi was from Subway.
    • 2 of these were from, Ming Garden. It’s a chinese place I frequent often.
    • 1 was from a local  Italian restaurant.
    • 2 were from my sandwich place, “Philly Time”
    • 1 was from my monthly (sometimes bi-monthly) visit to “Popeye’s Chicken”
    • The last Pepsi I had this month was from, Pizza Street.

That is all the soda I drink this month. That is a total of, 51 sodas. Compared to last month, I drank less. (62 sodas last month) I guess I did improve on something. Kudos to me!

Back to my favorite drink of all, alcohol. Let’s break this down for you. Checking last month, I had 30 Bud Light beers. This month I had, 29. Lets check out the bud lights I had:

  • 25 of those were bottles. My friend and I decided that the 5th beer I drank on, 2/9 was gay. I don’t know how a beer can be gay but it is. That is a long story to explain why we said it. I take many notes about the food and drinks I consume.
  • 2 were Bud Light cans. I am not a fan of the can. I’ll drink it from tap and I’ll drink it from a bottle. I just cannot get to liking the taste from a can. It still has that metal taste. Remind me to tell you an event that happened this night.
  • The last 2 beers I had this month, were from “54 Street” They were both the tall beers. Compared to last months 11, I am slacking. It would be more but I haven’t visited it as often as I like to. I need to get back to doing that. Maybe this weekend. Text me to remind me, please.

Ending off my alcoholic intake for this month was my lack of Rum drinking. Last month I had 36, this month I had only,

  • 8 shots of Captain Morgan Rum. 2 of those shots were for, Matt. He asked and I said okay. They were nightcaps. They did the job. I sleep like a baby.

Aside from all the crap I drink above, I do drink juice. Sure the juices are full of sugar but they still have to be better than all the soda and alcohol I drink. Breaking  down the 18 juices I drank for you, yo:

  • 2 juices were Orange Juices from Bob Evans.
  • 1 of the 18 juices was a Capri Sun. The flavor of the said juice was, Fruit Dive
  • I had a total of 15 minute maid juices.I will say this. I am in love with this juice.

    Minute Maid Orange Juice

    • 1 orange juice
    • 5 cranberry apple raspberry juice
    • 9 cranberry grape juice

Finishing off my list,

  • 1 big ass cup of lemonade from Chic-Fil-A
  • 1 taste test of, sweetened black iced tea (4 oz.)
  • 1 mug of homemade Hot Chocolate
  • 1 glass of 2% white milk (Belfonte)

I don’t see much of a difference in what I drank. Do I think I will ever cut back on coffee? (I’ve already had two so far this month) Will I tone down on the alcohol I drink? Will I drink more water? Only time will tell. There is still ten months left this year. Within the next few days, I will post the food stats.