Playing In Traffic

I shouldn’t really post this today. I mean, it is mother’s day and it is the day that kids should hug their mom and tell her how much she means to them. But, I can’t stay silent about this. I cannot just sweep this matter under the rug and pretend that is doesn’t happen. I need to voice my opinion and bring to light this epidemic that is plaguing this country. If I don’t speak up, no one will. I will be the voice of the people and be the one to finally bring an end to this rambunctious antics of the wee little trolls we call, children.

Again, I am not a parent and I don’t feel it is my duty to tell you lowlifes how to raise your own children but when it comes to the safety of them and the careless behavior of deadbeat parents, I need to speak up. I need to explain to the people with less common sense than the children they are raising that playing in the streets is dangerous. It’s not a playground and sooner or later, when the coroner is scrapping their body off the pavement, don’t come running to me about it. I warned you. The little yellow signs warned you. Watch your kids. Know where they are and please, don’t let them end up being just a statistic and meaningless tragedy.

I am not going to tell you how to raise your kids but letting them play amongst traffic like a feral squirrel, is the stupidest thing you can do as a parent, next to smoking while pregnant. 

I was driving through my mother’s neighborhood the other day. It was nearing nine at night and the sun had already set. The streets are cluttered with parked cars and dimly lit streetlights. Amid all the poor structure street, are countless children. These children, ranging from just tots in pampers to preteen jack asses, are left to their own amusement without the supervision of an adult or parent. Again, I am not going to tell you how to raise your kids but letting them play amongst traffic like a feral squirrel, is the stupidest thing you can do as a parent, next to smoking while pregnant. But what do I know? I am just a single guy with no kids and no real understanding of how it is to be a parent. That there may be true but I do know what it means to have common sense and not to let a child, no matter the age, run amok in the middle of traffic. I will not let my child or any child for that matter become a hood ornament because you failed at being a parent and protecting them for drivers just as careless as you are at parenting.

bad parenting

Parenting For The Win!

While driving to my mother’s house, some of these children failed to adhere to traffic safety and step out of the way and make their way to the curb. Instead, they stayed in the road and continued walking as if I wasn’t there. I honked to make my presence known. Finally moving, they lifted their fingers and flipped me the bird because unbeknownst to me, the road isn’t for cars, trucks, or SUV’s. The road is meant for them only. Those walking, pompous, and unsupervised children deemed the road theirs and to whomever challenges it, will be forced to find another route to take because they have stumbled upon their turf.

Death Race 2000I want to thank these kids for not clearing the road as my vehicle approached. I am saddened to think that I took the high road and didn’t run you over. I wish I would have taken you out like Frankenstein did in the movie Death Race 2000. I may not have run you over and splattered you across the road but trust me, next time you feel the need to scream, “YOLO” because you want to feel superior to us, the next driver may not be as nice as me. You will get run over. You will feel pain. You will understand that when a car is in the street and driving towards you and other hooligans like you, move your ass to the side of the street and wait for it to pass. I know your parents may have failed at teaching you traffic safety but use common sense. A car is a lot bigger than you. It’ll crush you and no matter the amount of YOLO’s you screen, none will save your stupid ass from being a dipshit for playing in traffic.

Thank you.

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