I Have The Best Idea For A Movie.

I am a writer. I am not a professional writer nor am I a great writer. I like to think that I am decent and have a good imagination with coming up with some insane stories. I don’t know where I posted it but I did speak about my past writing and my current stories. I’d look but I am far too lazy to hunt down a link on this site. Instead, I will just mention it again.

When I was a wee little lad, I had a fascination with the macabre. I loved horror movies and anything that was about zombies, werewolves, vampires, ghouls and goblins. I still enjoy this stuff today but unlike my previous stories, I drifted away from those and went to a more practical monster.

Human Beings. These are the scariest things out there. People are evil and people have dark thoughts and give it enough time, these people will act on them. Now I am not saying my great story, Zombietown is garbage, I am just saying that people are much scarier than a shambling corpse only found in fiction. I still write today. It’s not as often as I wish but I still will jot down ideas or write a poem, which so happens to always be a depressing poem.

neverwereI remember long ago, I was starting to write a screenplay. I had no idea how to write one. This was back before 2000, so yeah, a long time ago. It was about ghosts and folklore from a different country. I had a book (still do) about things that never were. You should honestly pick it up. It’s great. I read up on something and it sparked my interest and I began writing what I hoped to be an actual screenplay or short story.

Sadly, it never took off and I never did finish it. I believe I have the start of it somewhere on a floppy disk which also dates me cause I don’t think any computers actually have a port for that deceased object.

I am rambling. I shouldn’t be talking about the past. I should be talking about the now and the great movie idea I have. I just need to get two certain movie stars on board and my perfect movie will be made. Cause this movie is specifically wrote with them in mind. I am going to go off topic one more time but this is not too far off because it does relate to this movie idea I have.

I was at work one day. I was talking to another co-worker about something. Not sure what. I am sure it was something obscene because I speak off cuff at work 90 percent of the time. Anyway, we are talking and the topic of Rush Hour came up. We are chatting and another worker walks into our conversation. He begins talking about said movie. I am doing my best to ignore him because I wasn’t too fond of this guy. He just starts talking about the movie and its’ two sequels. I look at him and say, “You haven’t seen the fourth one yet?” He looks confused and tells me there isn’t a fourth one. I laugh and tell him he is wrong.

“Oh, there’s a fourth one. It was just straight to DVD. Didn’t even star Jackie Chan or Chris Tucker.”

I go on and talk about the movie. Now, this is just on the spot. I hadn’t spent time thinking this up. This was an on the spot idea that actually sounds legit. This is my premise for what should have been Rush Hour 4: The Russian Hour

Detective Lee and Carter are in Russia to meet with the local police about a possible diamond thief who is said to be of American decent. They capture the thief and while in custody, he tells them that this is much bigger than diamonds. His boss has big plans and will make sure the American people pay for their crimes against him and his family. 

They investigate and sooner or later come across this boss who is hell bent on causing World War 3. The evil villain (nameless) is played by Phillip Seymour Huffman. He speaks with a Russian accent but clearly you can tell it is fake. He explains his plans to the detectives about how he is going to put a rift between the US and Russia. Carter says some stupid stuff and Detective Lee vows he’ll stop him.

The nameless villain leaves and tells the boys to enjoy the show. The detectives manage to free themselves and while being chased in cars by the evil Russian mob, the see what the nameless villain meant by ‘enjoy the show’. The entire Kremlin explodes!

pshI never did get the ending. I was telling him about the movie, making it believable as I can. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker didn’t return. They were replaced by two other actors for this straight to DVD movie. Lee was played by Jet Li and Detective Carter was played by D.L. Hughley. Honestly, that’s a solid movie. I got other people involved saying they saw it. He ended up looking online to see if what I said was true.

I would pay to see that movie. It does sound good. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. I came up with a great movie idea! I don’t have all the story done but I have the idea. The idea is what sells it and the people involved. Rush Hour 4 is a good movie idea but the one I am about to tell you is much better and will be the best comedy/thriller of 2017*.

It takes place in a small Amish community. It is in a quaint Pennsylvania town, far from the busy city and suburbs. The community is shocked when a little girl is found murdered in a barn. The head patriarch, Amos (Al Pacino) doesn’t want to get the law involved and wants the men to find out the one behind it. The murdered girl’s brother James, (Anton Yelchin) doesn’t like that and hitchhikes to the city for help from the local police. 

He arrives and walks into the police station. Standing out like a sore thumb, an officer investigates. James screams and that attracts the head chief on duty, Chief Detective Barnes, (Jack Black) who consuls him and tells him to come into his office. James tells him everything, about his murdered sister and the three other girls who have died on the farm. Barnes senses something is wrong and tells James to go home. He tells him he’ll look into it and not to worry.

Days later, a wagon approaches the farm. Amos and a few other elders notice the wagon and approach. Alone in the wagon is Detective Barnes, dressed like an Amish man, with a beard and a pretty good accent. James watches from afar and smiles. He knows that his sister’s murderer will be caught and the senseless killing with come to an end.  

amish_gallery2_01The movie has comedy with Jack Black trying to fit in and doing crazy thing. Think of Witness and then think of it as a comedy. Pacino character is the villain and it is discovered he’s been murdering the girls because these girls aren’t pure enough to be in the community. James leaves the community and goes back with Detective Barnes to be a police officer.

The movie will be great! I just need Jack Black And Pacino on board. Sadly, Anton Yelchin passed away. He was a great actor. I want to happen. Someone contact their agents and get this rolling. I want to see it! I even have a name for the flick,

Amish’n Impossible.

Ha ha. I am funny. Honestly. Let’s make it happen.

*depending on how quick this is seen, the 2017 release date could be later.


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