where there’s a will, there’s a way
I hardly give advice on here to my readers. I think with all the ranting and all the talking I do out of my a**, I should contribute to the community and offer some sound advice on being financially stable. You’ll can stay poor and ignore my advice or if you listen fully and do the steps correctly, you can sit comfortably on a mountain of money. You will be swimming in money like Scrooge and the pool will be endless. Doesn’t that sound awesome!? Want to know how to accomplish this? Let’s get to the advice and hope that you will take one of these two examples and sue the Hell out of a multi-million dollar company. They don’t need the money, you do.
Don’t second guess yourself about suing people. Don’t make yourself believe the lies that it is wrong and greedy. It’s not. We all deserve a break. If you think working a Monday through Friday job is boring and lackluster then I think the only logical thing to do is to sue a company. Everyone does it all the time and you just sit there and wonder to yourself, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Well you can think of that. You can be the person that others will wish to be. It is your time to shine. I am going to share with you two fantastic ideas that can and will rob those greedy corporations of the money that you deserve.
The Shamrock Shake
Look at all the coffee cups you get when you go to Starbucks or McDonald’s. It does state on the cup that you need to be cautious when you drink it. The beverage will be very hot and dropping it in your lap or pouring it haphazardly on yourself will result in a burn that can only be described as, excruciating. I’ve never spilled coffee on me but I have sipped on freshly brewed coffee. That s**t was hot. People have sued companies over hot coffee in the lap. If something so hot can burn you and award you millions of dollars, why not get yourself a nice frosty drink and sue for brain freeze?
Go to McDonald’s or any other place that sells shakes or ice cream. It is important that you are driving when you enjoy the delicious, frozen treat. Not driving will defeat the purpose of this money making idea. I mean, I guess you can walk but being behind a wheel and causing a serious wreck will help your cause more than just walking into a tree while enjoying a Shamrock Shake. You should be ready to start. Pull into traffic and drive normally for a while. That shake is probably sounding good right about now. Make sure that there is someone in front of you. Take that money-making sip and, oh no! You’re having a brain freeze. That has to hurt. I bet you can’t focus very well. You might need to close your eyes and fight off that horrible pain that we all know that comes with drinking a shake too fast.
With your eyes shut because of the shake, you will accidentally crash into the car in front of you. You’re going to damage your car and you’re also going to hurt yourself. It is extremely important that you hurt yourself. If you are not injured then this great way to make money will be pointless. You don’t want to be the laughing-stock of the judicial world. Take this seriously and be sure that when you hit that other car, you seriously f**k yourself up. Trust me. A broken bone will be worth the amount of cash that will be dropped into your bank account.
Things will get complicated here because you are going to be blamed for the accident and your insurance is going to go up. But you can breathe a sigh of relief because while the other driver will be shaking their fist at you and damning you while they drive their rental car, you will be speaking to a lawyer about suing the crap out of that evil corporation that is only after your money and not your friendship. That Shamrock Shake and it’s minty goodness is just as green as the money that you’ll be seeing.
The idea is genius! You will be suing the company because the frozen treat you purchased and drank caused an accident. The cup is not labeled. There is no warning that it could cause brain freeze. If there is a warning on drinks that are hot, then why aren’t there warning labels on drinks that are cold? If you were warned that the drink was going to be that cold and could possibly cause a brain freeze, you wouldn’t have taken a sip while driving. You would have been cautious and stopped yourself before you become a statistic. That Shamrock Shake is great but is it great enough to cost you months of medical bills?
Sue them for negligence and not stating anywhere on the cup that the drink is cold and could cause brain freeze. It is a silly idea but people are suing for all sorts of s**t. Why not join in and sue for something just as silly and outlandish as a Shamrock Rock. But if you’re going to do this scheme, hurry up and get it done. The Shamrock Shake is only available for a limited time.
My Blind Friend
This scheme is a little more far-fetched than the Shamrock Shake one. This will take two people and one of these people need to be blind. I just hope that you are your blind friend are tight and will stay friends after the huge settlement comes in. If there is any hostility between you and him (or her) then you better get that fixed. You are your blind friends spotter. You don’t have a huge part in this but you will be the start of it all. You will set in motion everything and after you push your friend forward to do his part, the money will roll in and you two will be sitting pretty in the bright sun of Maui.
For this money-maker to work, you will need to have your blind friend follow you to the store. Any store will do. It could be a gas station or it can be a grocery store. You just need a large place that has aisles. I hope your friend has a seeing eye dog. That will even be better and the company will fold immediately because people like animals. If you ever want things to go your way, get an animal or a baby. Those two things work wonders. I don’t know first hand but if movies and television has taught be anything, if you got a baby in your hands, hot chicks will be all over you. I suggest you get a baby but since you’re blind you better get a dog. I don’t think a seeing eye baby will hold up much in court.
So you, your blind friend, and the seeing eye dog are at the grocery store. You will need to walk the store a bit and look for a good spot. That is your job. You are the spotter. The real show will go to your blind friend and his/her dog. They will be the ones that will suck the company in and make them cave. Certain things are difficult for companies. Things like race, creed, or gender. Companies will fold and pay them out because they rather not deal with a s**t storm of bad publicity. Trust me on this. This is a good idea.
Remember that I mentioned that you’re the spotter. The thing that you’ll be looking for is a wet floor sign. That’s all you need. From there, I am sure you know exactly where I am going but there are some dumb people on the internet that still need things explained to them. I will continue for their sake. When you find the wet floor sign, you will need to contact your blind friend. Call them. Don’t text them because texting a blind person is just plain silly. Tell them where to go. Your blind friend will eventually make it to the aisle. From there, they will walk down the dangerous path, being led by their seeing eye dog. The puddle will be there but your friend who has no vision will walk right into it. Your blind friend will slip and severely hurt themselves. This is bad. This is real bad! Bad for the company but great for you and your blind friend. The wet floor sign is posted and that will work enough for the world of the seeing, but it is useless to those with no sight. The dog cannot read. How would the blind person have known about the dangers in the aisles? The sign is posted but the sign is not made for their handicap. I have seen many wet floor signs and never once have I ever seen “wet floor” written in braille. How does your blind friend know the aisle is unsafe? They can’t ask their dog. A dog cannot read.
You sue them for not properly posting the danger of a wet floor to the handicapped world of the blind. The sign is not written in braille. There are no warning signs or alarms that sound letting the blind person know about the spill or the wet spot in the aisle. The company will try to weasel their way out of this predicament. They cannot use the excuse of it being posted because that will be discrimination towards those that cannot see. You and your blind friend will live large with the settlement you’ll receive. The only problem is the money will go to your blind friend. You have two options here. You two can split the money evenly or if you’re a major a-hole and don’t have a soul, you can rob your blind friend…erm…blind and he’ll never know. Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I am not worried and don’t care what happens after you complete the “My Blind Friend” get rich advice. I just gave you the idea. Do what you wish with it.
There are two fantastic ideas at how you can get rich quick. They may not be fool proof but I have never tested them. They are still in the beta stage. If you want to try them out, go ahead. Let me know if you do! I would love to know if they work. I would love to know if you became a millionaire because you worked the system like so many others have. If there is a will, there is a way. Go out there and find a business to sue. Trust me. With how the world is now, you can sue anyone for just about anything.
Just don’t sue me. I’m broke.