Facebook Is Evil & It Will Consume Your Soul

Facebook is evil. It’s a horrible place and it will ruin you. This is not an opinion piece. This is not just me talking out my ass and saying things just for a laugh. I am speaking the truth. I am telling you how it is and how Facebook is not a place for entertainment or catching up with people. It will pull you in and it will use all its’ power to keep you there, grasping on to you tightly until you are no longer a person but just another number to Matt Zuckerberg. You are now a statistic. Congratulations.

I was a Facebook whore. The site was all I thought about. I was always on it. I was always lurking about and always hoping for the red tag to pop up when someone liked, shared, or commented on something I posted. It was what I craved. It is what you crave. No one goes on Facebook just to look. They don’t just go there to post something and forget about it. They want someone to reply. For f**k sake! This is a social networking site. You’re suppose to be social and not remain silent. If you try to tell me that you don’t care if your photos or posts go unnoticed then I might just call you a f**king liar because that is what you are. You’re a liar. You crave it. I did. We all do. We want that. We want someone to comment on the photo of our dog or the delicious brownie we instagrammed and instantly linked to Facebook, because not linking those two site together would isolate you from ever seeing what your friends eat.

I quit Facebook in January of 2013. I never went back and while the first few days were tough, I stuck through it and reminded myself that I don’t need Facebook to have fun or to communicate with family and friends. It may sound weird but I was having withdrawals. I wasn’t having panic attacks or losing sleep over it but I was contemplating whether or not I should just give up this silly absence from Facebook and go back to the liking, the poking, and the friending to people I hardly know or care for. I was away for 6 full months. I eventually forgot about Facebook and it didn’t bother me that I was missing out on the exciting things Facebook has to offer, like invading your life and having them creep on you like big brother from 1984.

Facebook is watching.

Facebook is watching.

I did go back to Facebook. That was last week. I really thought that maybe I would find some joy in the site but once I arrived back, and after the numerous liking of the post and the positive feedback I got for returning, none of that struck a chord in me. I wasn’t getting hooked back in and wasn’t going to stalk other people’s pages in seeing what I missed during my six months absence. I am not trying to come off as high and mighty for not being on the site. I know I can limit myself to viewing the site but in all reality, I couldn’t do that. I love twitter and there are times, like times when I was on Facebook, that I will send rapid tweets about nothing. Usually when I send those tweets, I’ll lose a follower and lose a friend on Facebook.

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Facebook is evil. That site is run by a megalomaniac. He is swimming in money and with each new follower on the site, he collects another soul. I mean, come on. He purchased the entire internet for 3 billion dollars! The man has money and he’ll stop at nothing to own you and everything in this goddamn world.Mark is sort of like a banshee. He swoops in from the skies and when you least expect it, you’re whisked away into the heavens. Aside from being an evil site, it is also a greedy one too. Remember all those times Zuck talked about not charging for the site? He’s a liar. I caught this a while ago. After a brief while, maybe five minutes or so, the below screen was gone and I couldn’t make it appear. Thankfully I like to copy and screenie everything. The days of .calm trained me well in the art of screening. Pictures don’t lie. This is proof that Zuck is determined to make Facebook a paid site and then his bank account will grow and grow. You thinking about quitting now? Do it. Do it before it is too late. Don’t be zuckered into this evil site anymore. Stand up and deactivate your account.

Facebook Pro

You don’t need Facebook to communicate. Use a phone. Text someone. Maybe try snail mail. Do anything but don’t log into Facebook to connect and chat with someone who is just in a room next door. My mother is worried about me. She feels that we don’t talk anymore. She worries that I am depressed and closing myself off from the family. Why does my mother think this? Because I don’t use Facebook. She’ll tell me that we don’t talk anymore and she doesn’t know what goes on in my life because I don’t post it on Facebook. “If you had a Facebook maybe I would know what is going on in your life.” She’ll brush if off but she’ll mention something about a family member and what they said on Facebook. I remind her again that I don’t use it. The process repeats.

My mother isn’t the only one. Facebook is evil and it is consuming everyone’s soul. I’ll be talking to people from work and they’ll chat with me and at least once in every conversation I have with them, they talk about something funny they saw on Facebook. It’s always Facebook. It’s what everyone talks about. People are consumed by it and they don’t care if their over indulgence of the site provokes you or makes you second fiddle to what their friend from college posted earlier that day. Case in point. I was at work and I was helping a lady who was at the counter. She was a mildly attractive woman. Short with fiery red hair. She was wearing this black dress and clutched in her hand, was her precious iPhone. I can’t criticize her for holding on to her iPhone and treating it like a child. I love my iPhone and it goes with me everywhere and yes, I mean everywhere.

She is looking at her phone when I approach. I greet her with a smile and ask what she needs. She hears me but she doesn’t look up. She replies to me with what she wants but doesn’t focus her eyes to me but keeps them locked to her phone’s screen. She must be knee deep in a very important text. Oh? You’re not texting? What is so important that can’t wait? What is more important than giving a person the attention they deserve? I look at her phone. There is a bit of a glare. It is hard to make out but I know what the Facebook app looks like. This hot redhead in the black dress was so enthralled in Facebook that she couldn’t be a decent human being and give me five minutes of her time. I am not looking for us to hook up (but hell, it would be nice to). I don’t care if you don’t want to chat afterwards. I don’t care if you think I am a tool or being obnoxious. I am just doing my job.Plus, I just want you to close that f**king app and make eye contact with me. Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. Your site is many things and now you can also add the reason common courtesy is going out the window, just like kids respecting their elders did years ago.

I am finding myself to be rambling on about this subject. Let me draw this to a close. I am finished with the book of face. I don’t see myself returning to the site. I don’t need to be repeatedly poked or have people I barely speak to in real life ask to be friends with me on a site. We’ll be friends and you can be sure that neither of us will visit each other’s wall. It’s not that I don’t find you interesting. I probably do in some way. I just rather tend to my wall and wait for someone to reply to my post. I wanted to get a thumbs up from them when I post something awesome about my boring and meaningless life. But I don’t have a wall anymore. I don’t have people to friend or people to play all those exciting “-ville” games with. I want my soul. I don’t need Zuck to claim that and take ownership of it because, like you, we didn’t read the user agreement and he is now sole owner of your soul and all things book of face related. Congratulations on selling your soul to the Zuck.

Heed my warning. Deactivate now and feel the freedom. Don’t Zuck up your life anymore.


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