I have been pestered by people about this movie. They would go on and on about how great this movie is. How funny and original it is. I never cared to see this movie. I didn’t listen to the critics or people from work about the greatness of this flick. I shrugged it off about went about my way to do more important things. Things that are more important than watching a movie about a man in a red spandex suit. But I did take the plunge and dropped the six dollars (thanks, U-Verse) and watched the movie.
It was garbage. One of the worst movies I have seen. I have seen some terrible movies. Believe me. Go through my blog and read up on some flicks I have watched. I had more enjoyment watching, The Human Centipede than I did watching this borefest. I have a huge disliking for Ryan Reynolds. No reason. I just don’t like him. Kind of how I don’t like some kid called Nightlight or another kid I call, Sleeves. I got pet names for people. That isn’t really related to the topic. I just wanted a reason to say both their names.
I am talking about, Deadpool. This was a waste of my time. I don’t see the reason why people think this movie is great. It’s not great. It’s not even good. I sat there, nursed a beer or eight and not once, did I laugh, smirk, or exclaim, “oh that was cool!” It just didn’t do anything for me. I am sure I can think of a better way to spend my time than watch this movie. That was 2 hours (give or take how long it really was) of my life I tossed away. Given the title of this entry, I have 40 things that would be more exciting to do than watch this movie again. Or if you have not seen it yet, then take note. Here are 40 things to do that will be more enjoyable and life changing than watch a shitty actor in a shitty movie.
- Do your laundry. Then do it again.
- Watch Jack and Jill (It is Sandler’s best work)
- Get a back massage from an obese Norwegian named, Klaus.
- Start a tumblr and cry about being “misunderstood”.
- Skydive with a defective parachute.
- Take fashion advice from Caitlyn Jenner.
- Roll around topless on a fire ant hill.
- Drive across Kansas.
- Watch white noise on your television.
- Read the entirety of Itunes terms and conditions.
- Think about every stupid thing you’ve ever said.
- Volunteer yourself for a dental appointment.
- Explore nature.
- Watch paint dry.
- Take miniature golf seriously.
- Spend a day at the DMV.
- Have a Amy Schumer movie marathon.
- Write a blog post about 40 things better to do than watch Deadpool.
- Show up at your in-laws for a deep and heartfelt talk.
- Create a Nickelback playlist to run to.
- Vote for Trump.
- Draw a picture of Mohammed.
- Clean the gutters. If you don’t have gutters, clean your neighbors.
- Rewatch old Lifetime movies.
- Poke people on Facebook.
- Watch Jimmy Fallon being “funny”.
- Take calls from telemarketers.
- Take all the quizzes on Buzzfeed.
- Write angry letters to your state representatives.
- File your taxes.
- Jury Duty.
- Sitting in traffic for sport.
- Go to the post office to buy stamps.
- Switch back to dial-up.
- Raking leaves.
- Pay bills.
- Burn every copy of Deadpool you come across.
That is the list. 40 things to do that are far more entertaining than watching that mess of a movie. It sucked. I don’t care what Green Day says. The movie blows. You have shitty taste in movies. I bet you were uber excited about the new Fantastic Four.
Do you agree with my list? Do you even agree that the movie was awful? I don’t care if you like it. I am still going by my word. This was a shitty movie with a shitty actor. The movie sucked and Ryan Reynolds can eff off.
I hate you.
I hate Deadpool.