I was pretty excited about my move. I was getting back away from my family (always a plus), I was moving in with a really good friend (plus II), and it was a long drive that even Tiger Woods would be jealous of. (minus III). I was pretty bummed about the drive. It would mean I would have to get up earlier, spend a poopload on gas, and take the highway (which I hate). I don’t hate, hate the highway. I figure, if there is a way to get somewhere without taking it, I’m all for it. I haven’t heard back from my friend. Maybe he’s busy.

I text him.  No reply.

Maybe he’s really busy.

I’ll give him a day or so to respond.


Eff it. I’m going stag again. I am not wasting my energy anymore trying to reach him. Either he forgot, got a less cooler person to move in instead, or is avoiding me like the plague. Be it any of those three scenarios. I can’t sit here idly while he plays the popular game, “eff with kirk”. I visited a few apartments around my hood. Some were nice and some weren’t.

I checked out one. It was Wednesday. I ask to see a 1 bedroom apartment.

I don’t have a one bedroom available to show at the moment. Would you like to see a two bedroom?

No. I want to see a one bedroom.

We are in the process of renovating it. It’ll be ready Friday if you want to come back and see it.

I can do that. I’ll leave work, and get there ASAP.

I work till 4.

How about 4:40 then?

Sounds good. See you then.

Friday comes. I ended up getting out of work early that day. I go home and take care of a few things. It was about four now. I figured I had time to scope out another place. There weren’t showing either. I missed the cut off time. Come back tomorrow. My viewing time is closing in. I get to the apartment at 4:45. I walk in and have to wait a moment. She calls me to her desk.

Hi. I was told to come back today at 4:40. I have an appointment to view a one bedroom.

Oh. We’re not showing anymore today. We stop showing at 5.

Five? Really? Cause my watch shows ten till.

Sorry. Let’s do this. The apartment is already rented out. The tenants are moving in tomorrow. Come by at 10 tomorrow morning and we can show it to you.

Eff you.

That last part I said silently to myself. Honestly. Would it have been that big of deal to get off your ass, stroll down to the crap you call an apartment and let me see it? If you’re wanting someone to move in here, you’re doing a bang up job (that’s sarcasm). I stumbled onto apartment ratings the other day and decide to check it out. The place I wanted to call home, has some pretty bad reviews. I visited a second place (haven’t read anything about them). You know how lots of complexes offer and make sure you are aware they have a clubhouse? I doubt I will ever use one. The office was located next to the clubhouse. The pool was behind the clubhouse. Nice pool (no, not really). It was small and there wasn’t really walking room around it. The pool didn’t make this place hell. I have had apartments before and swam maybe five times. Too many kids. Eff kids. I come to find out, this “clubhouse” is their office. The lady behind the desk was shocked to see me. I already felt not welcome. The office/clubhouse was dirty and messy. Did I mentioned that the first person to actually greet me with a dog? It humped me. No lie. Most action I’ve gotten in ages.

Can I see an apartment?

Okay. Did you see our ad on craigslist?

No. I was driving by.

Oh, I see. Well if you saw it on there, rent is 50.00 cheaper.

Okay. Then I saw it on craigslist.

But you didn’t see it.

If it’s cheaper than yes, I saw it.

Okay, then you saw it. We’ll just say that.

After a minute of her fighting with the damn mutt, we walk to see the apartment. She offered to drive but she was old and creepy and I don’t ride with strangers. We are chatting about the weather and the norm.

Careful. There’s dog poop all over the grass!

Sweet. That’s something all the other places aren’t offering.  We continue walking. We’re close to the building when she checks her boots. She asked me about my shoes. If I got any mud on them.

No, no mud. They look clean.

Well, I’m not worried about the carpet inside. I just don’t want your shoes dirty. They look new.

One, these aren’t new shoes. And two, wtf? Did you just say to me, that you’re not worried about the carpet inside? You’re not going to care if I trample about in the nice, clean apartment? I am sure the place is going to be amazing. (more sarcasm). There is only two room per floor. Walls seem thin. I could hear the TV from outside the other tenants apartment. I will say, the living room looked big. As did the dining room.  I felt a little rushed when I was there though. She stood by the front door, hand attached to the doorknob. I wandered through the place and she just stood there, just clutching the doorknob. Kitchen was small. Bedroom was nice. I looked in all the closets. I opened every door there was. Bathroom was dirty. Spots on the wall and around the tub. The pantry in the kitchen has mold in it. Best feature of the place, was the foul stench of cat urine. Honestly. It was dreadful. The odor blasted my face the moment she opened the door. Eff,you, grandma death. I’m not living here. She showed me the “laundry room” as we were leaving. That’s not a room, ma’am. That’s a hole in the wall with a washer and dryer wedged in. Plus, I am not wild about the green shirt that was sitting on the dryer. Trash scattered about in the hallway was also a turn off. You don’t aim to please very well. They have garages for the people who live in the apartments. No one in the complex rents one. They are all rented out to the people across the street. Rented out to people who don’t live there. I don’t see the logic.

We get back to the office clubhouse. We are greeted by two men. IDK who they were but the were obviously more important than I was. She invited them in. I somehow get shoved to the back of the crowd. I step in and all three glare at me. There was this awkward silence filling the room. Even the dog wouldn’t give me any love. I don’t say anything. I just stand there looking stupid. She looks at me and says,

You need something else?

I know every apartment is going to have some good points and some bad points. I just happened to find the two that had very little good in the them. I could be an ass and tell you the name of these places but I won’t. (oops.) That would be wrong.

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I like food. I like the smell of cinnamon.

Latest posts by pitweston (see all)

  • Jackiee

    You will find something!

    Don't settle for any of this nonsense. You are going to have to be stuck with it.

    I'm glad that you are writing again. Now I have something to do other than work <3

  • Sucks the dude effed u like that. You should gather up some cat pee and dog poi and make him feel more at home.